Escaping the Velvet Glove
 

It was once said in the pulpit by another speaker regarding my former minister, “He rules with an iron fist…but he wears a velvet glove.” The comment was meant as praise if I recall. However, when you ponder the meaning, this was rather an indictment against his Christianity!

I have observed a technique that is often used by these types. Whether the intent is noble or not is irrelevant. By design, it has power to manipulate one’s mental state and blur the focus of balanced decision-making. I call it the “velvet glove” approach.

Here is an example: Take a person, living in an environment or community that has become unstable, unhealthy, or even abusive. Intuitively-speaking, the simplest mind should sense something wrong. Rational thought, if allowed to operate, will usually begin to make preparations for an out at some point. After all, self-preservation is only natural. When departure becomes a real option, and the glue begins to dissolve, it is the clever who know that they must don the velvet glove.

1.“Bloom where you’re planted,” they say. If one accepts the premise, they have fallen for an old trap. The trap that implies God is responsible for their past and their current state of confusion, and He desires them to accept it as it is. In other words, “Do the best you can in your situation, just don’t consider moving out of it.” If you latch onto this philosophy, you may end up pot-bound and crippled.

2.“God's favor is in this place.” Maybe, maybe not. God's favor has a very personal touch. THIS JUST IN--God is not limited by organizations or church houses, and in fact, moves and works wherever faith calls to Him! That includes the sincere crying out from among the phony baloney and the quacks. I’m bold enough to believe that God will hold all of us accountable to concepts such as justice and faith, not personality and peer pressure. Everybody wants to believe that they have arrived, that they have a corner on the Almighty. It’s a comforting thought, albeit a naïve one.

3.“Just let the Spirit guide you.” This may pass for spiritual wisdom to some. However, taken at face value, this can lead a person into the realm of mysticism. Some never make it back out. Folks with visions and dreams can only go so far. At the end of the day they eat, sit on porcelain, and sleep like the rest of us. We are creatures of flesh and spirit, subject to the laws of both worlds. Praying might get you into favor with God, but you still have to study to earn an A on that exam. It’s possible to jeopardize your life’s balance by circumventing the tools God has provided in order to properly discern, adapt, and even resist some forces if need be. Yes, pray, cry, and seek God for direction and wisdom. It may come from places you never thought it would. Parsimony is good too.

Let me finish with this. Not all men live selfish lives, and not all communities are evil empires. However, no matter how precious and sweet your world is, failure lurks just below for one simple reason…people. Only God is perfect, the rest of us are just wannabes. Bottom line: occasional mistakes are forgivable, patterns are unacceptable. My walk is priority, and if that means I have to float on a lifeboat with the Good Lord, then so be it. Because it’s like Paul said, “...but I will not be enslaved by anything.”

Re: Escaping the Velvet Glove
 

What do you mean by this?

Re: Escaping the Velvet Glove
 

Good post. I am one who believes that God does NOT micro-manage our lives (just as He does not specifically choose ONE person for us to marry). Calling on God for all of life's decisions probably results in what you had for dinner the night before (gurgle of the stomach and intestines being mistaken for the voice of God) making more of your hard choices then just using your intellect and common sense.

Re: Escaping the Velvet Glove
 

Occam's Razor: one should not increase, beyond what is necessary, the number of entities required to explain anything.

In other words, the volcano that erupted in Iceland was probably due to naturally-occurring phenomena rather than, say, Hell belching out the torment from those pillaging, barbaric vikings of long ago.

Re: Escaping the Velvet Glove
 

I don't like Occam's Razor :(

Re: Escaping the Velvet Glove
 

I'm not suggesting that we take an all "academicky" and cerebral approach to God all the time. By the same token, the touchy-feely folks may want to consider that prudent-minded people can be Christian too.

This reminds me of a true story my mother told me. She was very poor growing up in a family of 5. When she and her two sisters were teenagers, an old man (friend of my grandpa) visited their house late one night. He told my grandpa, "Willy, God woke me up and told me to come down here. He said that I'm supposed to marry one of your daughters!"
My grandpa, still sleepy-eyed replied in an instant, "Really? That's funny, cuz God just told me to tell you to go 'head back home and back to bed, and not to worry about it."

Needless to say, he never tried that one again on grandpa. "Willy" wasn't an educated man, but he had some wisdom and saw to it that his family was cared for and protected.

Re: Escaping the Velvet Glove
 

noeticknight -

Loved your intro post! :thumbsup

Now, the interesting questions is: What is the motivation (reason, purpose, goal) for so many 'church leaders' arguing in support of such positions?

What's the payoff?

Re: Escaping the Velvet Glove
 

Thanks HaShaliach, big fan of your posts here!

I wish I could nail it down to one insidious reason, or trace it all back to one dark lord sitting on a throne somewhere. Unfortunately, the issue is complex beyond my limited understanding, but I do believe that human relationships are the drivers that create these sorts of scenarios. We could make a list of reasons that motivate certain “church leaders,” but that would be generalizing and quite frankly, unproductive. Your point is a valid one though, and particularly important because it cuts to the core of the matter. The entire religious system as we know it is fundamentally flawed.

Somebody asked if certain church leaders are motivated by money? You bet your bottom dollar they are! In the "system" of American religion, many churches are really just a business and a social club. Of course, there are the extreme stories too. Just down the road there is a church that does (mandatory) direct deposit for tithes on all of their members. They take up offerings several times during one service. Then, on your way out, women ushers (wearing velvet gloves!) stand by the doors holding out buckets for those who got loosened up during the service to dig a little deeper. The leaders live the life of luxury, while some of their saints struggle to pay the bills. If this is just one church in my little area, what other horrors abound elsewhere?

Yes, I really do struggle with folks who believe and teach mandatory tithing or Hell. You and JasonB are far more eloquent than I on this subject, but I suspect that if money grew on trees, many church goers would discover less coercion, and maybe less personal attention from some of their leaders.

I think a majority of the motivation comes from people hungry for an identity. They want to believe that their culture/religion/community is special and unique, closest to God, and superior to others. This is perfectly normal. And since people make up communities, it stands to reason that they will not be a perfect group. I have no problem looking past human failure or mistakes; after all that’s my lot too. What I do take umbrage to is unhealthy patterns of behavior that continue in a group, which eventually becomes the culture, and ultimately their most lasting identifiers.

Getting back to your question, I would say that a majority of leaders and those who’ve the power surrendered to them argue for that overarching reason. They want to keep their identity alive. And in a lot of cases, certainly in my experience, these leaders will compromise truth to preserve their tradition. They will talk out of both sides of their mouth, inject a mixture of truth and falsity, love, hate, iron fist, velvet glove, whatever, and then justify it all in the name of our Lord because their loyalty is to their religion first, and their relationship with the Creator...second (...maybe). Thankfully though, there are still honest folks who don’t put all of their stock in men, but rather keep their gaze fixed heavenward.

Re: Escaping the Velvet Glove
 

Now, my friend, I think you did quite well in expressing yourself. :grampa