How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister
 

How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister

1. Do what you feel is acceptable.

That's what everyone else does.

2. Always call yourself a conservative.

That's earns you street cred. Doesn't matter if you're a flamin' lib, just call yourself a conservative and everything will be okay.

3. Keep your mouth shut about your liberties.

Do what you do in secret. After all, it's not about truth, it's all about perception.

4. Say the word "Apostolic" fifty times a day. Integrate it into every conversation and sermon. For extra credit add the word "Identity." After all, "Apostolic Identity" is the new way of saying "holiness."

See, DKB learned that holiness has little to do with standards, so he created a made-up label to match all of the made-up extra-biblical standards.

So now Oneness people can accuse "compromisers by saying "He doesn't believe in Apostolic Identity," instead of saying "He doesn't believe in holiness."

That way we don't have to bring pesky things like the Bible into the conversation.

Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister
 

Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister
 

Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister
 

Interesting post! On a more serious note, the "message" some apostolic preachers carry is nothing but generational talking points, ones that have been passed down from generation to generation, that have not been examined or questioned for validity. Now, let the mud start slinging...I can play too!

Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister
 

:bubble

Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister
 

A little modified.
With apologies to Don Quixote.

Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister
 

That's a little cheesy for the "world's most interesting man."

Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister
 

I could be a successful apostolic minister if I wasn't so "real." The show ended looong ago. I walked off stage never to return again. (so dramatic)

Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister
 

"LIKE!"

Re: How to Become a Successful Apostolic Minister
 

Huh???