My BIL and Nephew
 

Hello!

Please pray for my BIL and (adult) nephew. They got kicked out of where they were living and showed up at my husband's work broke and homeless. Since my husband and I both have a brother who is like this, we have discussed these issues a lot over the years. My husband gave him $25.00 and told him he was sorry but they were going to have to fend for themselves. His brother wanted us to take in the nephew but the weather is nice out right now and we'll save our sanity for winter if need be. But there is a homeless shelter that we will probably direct them to. My BIL has been this way for years and years. It is hard to turn him away and then of course we worry about him and how he will do. It is a stressor. So, please pray for them and us too. This is never easy.

Thanks!

Re: My BIL and Nephew
 

I let an alcoholic in law and son live with us three different times totaling several years trying to help them get on their feet but they would never go to rehab and never quit drinking. This person will never live in my home again we are only enabling them when we bail them out of being homeless. They got very upset recently when they supposedly had a job back in our state and I would not let them stay in our home for a "few weeks". I have told them I would love to have them come visit for a weekend but 3 days max. Oh, did I mention the son had 2 DUI's at age 18? The same son that has never been held accountable for any behaviour. Got suspended from school 3 times in six months in HS and parent did not do one thing. No grounding, no punishment, etc. Arghhhh

Re: My BIL and Nephew
 

CC1, can you clarify who this is please? Not your son and daughter in law, right? That's the way I thought it read until the end of the post...

Re: My BIL and Nephew
 

ILG, I think you are on the right track. Stay removed from the situation a bit to save your privacy and sanity.

You can still give them a few dollars, take them to the shelters that are in the area, locate the food pantries and gov assistance etc.

Re: My BIL and Nephew
 

No - - In-law and her son.

Re: My BIL and Nephew
 

LOL!!! No. I said an "in law" and that the person had a son. Definitely not any of my children or my son in law.

Re: My BIL and Nephew
 

Thanks for the support, guys. This is always hard but the other choice is to give and give and they take and take and I know it never ends. I think you are making the right choice too, CC1. It is amazing how entitled they feel. I can never understand that.

Re: My BIL and Nephew
 

I'm sorry but choices and behavior have consequences, there comes a time to be relieved of the messiah complex and let even our loved ones experience these consequences. "I love you, but I cannot be responsible for your livelihood nor wellbeing". If the consequences are too uncomfortable folks generally do something to change the situation.

Re: My BIL and Nephew
 

Yeah, the messiah complex seems to make one put a big target on your own head. Then, they shoot you right on the target. Bad system. We love them, but they would use us up.

Re: My BIL and Nephew
 

I just got off the phone with my brother (who lives with my parents). My brother has never been to the house I live in now (lived here two years). He was calling wanting to know the names of some campgrounds around here since he is working in the area. I haven't gotten a phone call from him in years. I got off the phone and told my husband and we discussed the issue. I called my brother back and gave him the names of some campgrounds in the area and it seemed that is actually what he wanted. We thought maybe he was hinting to stay here.

My whole nervous system is through the roof. Good grief.