Headship in the Home
 

For all Bible-believing Christians out there, here's a question for you.


I keep thinking of that thread about rules and the Pastor forbidding married couples the marriage bed before and on Sunday, among other things. Who has the final say in the home Biblically? Does what the Pastor rule take precedence over what the husband wants in his own home?

I am wondering what people are thinking as this is not just a UPC problem. I know of a Pastor who the wife went to regarding her healthcare when she found out she had breast cancer. She went over her husband's head to the Pastor. The Pastor made the decision for her on what kind of treatment she was to have. By the time she got around to telling her husband about her breast cancer, the Pastor had already made the decision for her and the husband had no say.

I know what my husband would say to all of this, but what say you?

Re: Headship in the Home
 

For the life of me, I can't think of any good reason that the pastor would have any say whatsoever in a married couple's sexual relations nor healthcare decisions. that is plain weird and cultish.

Re: Headship in the Home
 

That is what I thought when I read the "church rule" thread and my neighbor's medical decision.

I've seen men just step aside and let the Pastor run their home. When this happens, this in effect just take away the God-given headship that He has appointed the husband in their home.

Re: Headship in the Home
 

Sorry, but I can't in good conscience call them "men". Only the emasculated could be so weak.

Re: Headship in the Home
 

Maybe so...but how many men are guilty of not rocking the boat?

I know of one case where the wife was unhappy at her husband's church after they married. They were a critical bunch towards her. When the wife quit going, those folks rallied around the husband and continually patted him on the back...like "you poor saint having to put up with a "rebellious wife". He was eating it up. After she left, they gave him positions in the church that he wasn't given despite having been a faithful member of that church for over 10 years.

The Pastor told him that he should put his foot down and make his wife go to church.

Re: Headship in the Home
 

Yup. People who submit themselves to these control freaks are...well...I am thinking the word "nuts" but I don't want to be offensive if any of them are reading this so I will say they are just not doing themselves any favors and in fact are punting on their responsibility to make decisions in their own life.

I second that... Controlling, cult like, I would be gone so fast he wouldn't know what hit him. Not married to the Pastor....that's the only way he would get those decision making rights.

I sincerely thank God that the church that I have found isn't anything like this small minded, egotistical, hypocritical depiction. I would have given this journey up as soon as it began if it was. Makes me truly thankful for how rare and wonderful they are!

Re: Headship in the Home
 

This was one of those churches who taught that all people, both men and women should "obey those who have rule over you". Indoctrination for all new saints and that is how they grew.

When this man and his wife married, they couldn't even have a proper honeymoon because he wanted to get back in time for services at his church. She still has in her heart anguish over the way she was treated both by that church and her husband allowing her to be mistreated because he did not stand up for her when others were critical of her.

Re: Headship in the Home
 

You said it sister. A good church is like a rare pearl. Once you find that pearl, stick with it and be a willing vessel for Christ.