You Might Be A Pastor If...
 

YOU MIGHT BE A PASTOR IF...

* You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.
* You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were.
* You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.
* You see a church picnic as no picnic.
* You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.
* You've been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.
* You've ever wanted to give the sound man some feedback of your own.
* You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you didn't mean praying for him.
* You often feel like you are herding cats instead of shepherding sheep.
* Your sermons have a happy ending (everyone's happy when it ends).
* You feel that it is your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.