Originally Posted by Jesuswins (Post 241111)

I have never been a part of the UPCI, but I have heard some "stories" about Pastors investigating the lives of the church members to see if they are "living right". I just wonder if it's true....... have ever experienced this from your Pastor or are you a Pastor and done it to some of your saints.

:popcorn2

Originally Posted by Hegavmelif (Post 241420)

I've been in this movement for all my life. I am third generation. I know a lot a people all over this country and have family and friends in all but about 10 states.

Oh Yes! UPC preachers do this all the time. They even investigate the background of someone who might be marrying a person from their church. I know of many, many, many scenarios where preachers went digging for information about a saint.

Example: One young woman in California (first marriage) was gonna marry a guy from another state and the pastor in California went to calling this man's previous pastors and trying to dig up all kinds of stuff. The preacher lied to the woman about what he said he found out about the man. Made her call off the wedding. Only to find out in the end that this preacher had made numerous sexual advances to this woman and several others in his church. If I called his name - most every one would recognize it. He still holds a license and pastor a church. This happened about 15 years ago.

Originally Posted by Praxeas (Post 241516)

Well I have heard of pastors checking with another pastor about a man that wanted to marry a woman in their church and vice versa....

Originally Posted by Barb (Post 241524)

And well they should!!

Look...there are charlatans in every organization/denomination/group. These folk are out to get what they can get, be it $$, sex, or fame.

But for people like Heg to mistakenly think that a pastor who checks on the future mate of a member of his is controlling or worse, well that's just silly.

If it were me, I would glad to have a pastor who cared enough to see if this dude was for real.

It's not about checking for dirt...it's about being a loving shepherd.

Originally Posted by Jesuswins (Post 241111)

I have never been a part of the UPCI, but I have heard some "stories" about Pastors investigating the lives of the church members to see if they are "living right". I just wonder if it's true....... have you ever experienced this from your Pastor or are you a Pastor and done it to some of your saints.

:popcorn2

Originally Posted by pelathais (Post 241528)

I haven't really seen this - but what usually happens is just as bad. Someone goes to the pastor with some kind of slur and the pastor doesn't bother to check it out- instead he "handles it" from the pulpit.

Lives are hurt, the whole church is traumatized and when the truth finally does come out, it turns out that everyone was reacting to childish gossip.

My cousin played college football in a lower NCAA Division (2AA, or whatever) and when his team was in town he asked me to come see him. I talked to my pastor and got his "approval." I went to the game- they didn't charge admission! In fact I walked right out onto the field and met with my cousin and his team mates on the field itself before the game. The only problem was- another local school was vying for the National Championship and all of their games were being loudly publicized.

A few days later I was called into the pastor's office while he and his wife screamed at me for going to that football game. I reminded my pastor of our conversation- I reminded him of the school my cousin attended and where they actually played. His head fell into his hands when he realized how foolish he had been. But his wife would let up. She kept screaming at me saying things like I had "disobeyed the pastor..." even after the pastor was reduced to just shaking his head and mumbling to himself.

I tried to get an apology but got thrown out of the pastor's office instead. The whole thing could have been avoided if the pastor had actually "investigated" the rumor. Or better yet, if the pastor had paid enough attention to the people working with him that he would remember his conversations with them 2 or 3 days after the fact.