A question.
 

And I'm going to post at GNC as well..would like perspectives from both places.

Our church meets Sunday afternoon, at 2 pm. This leaves Sunday morning and evening free. Last week, my pastor preached in another church and I went. I liked what I saw there, as far as the church and their outreach etc.

Well, this week I'm sitting on some challenges and thought it might not be a bad idea to start the week out with an extra church service (I'd have done 2 extras if I thought my kids could handle it..3 services in one day w/o going home in btwn might not go so well tho..lol).

So I went to this other church. I'd called my pastor's wife last night to find out what time service was. I got a much cooler than anticipated welcome. MUCH cooler. I was a little surprised, but ok. I was there for God anyhow..not anyone else. I needed the sermon that was preached so all's well. Until I'm leaving. A woman came up to me and asked if I lived in that town. Nope I live in that other one. "I thought you came with Pastor B last week. We (that being the pastor's wife of this church and this woman) aren't so sure you should be here." Um. Why not? It's likely I'll be coming off and on more often. "Well you should really call your pastor and seek his counsel about that." Um ok. I did call his wife last night to find out what time service was. "Well you still should seek his counsel. He can counsel you on these things."

It took me the full half hour drive home to work myself down from really cranky to just letting that go. I sure could have let that get in the way of what God had for me at my church service. My pastor's wife did talk to me when I got there, asked if I'd gone. I told her what happened and told her I will not be asking permission from Pastor to go to another church at a time when we don't have a service. She said some churches wouldn't even LET ME ATTEND unless I had "permission" from my pastor.

HUH? She did explain, but I'm not really satisfied. I do love my pastor and his wife more than ever though, at least there's that. But, oh this whole thing just makes me feel ugly inside. I asked my pastor's wife if he's supposed to call the other pastor and tell them I'll be there. Or, why was I scolded without anyone even asking what my pastor had said? Of course, not knowing I needed my pastor's permission I wouldn't have said the right things anyhow.

Is this really common? WHY? Permission? Oh...you don't even know how that's never going to happen. Part of why I'd like to attend some other churches in the area is to make friends. Sure, I could befriend everyone in my church. In an evening. I already know I have very little in common with the women who are there, this is my church home and I'll wait patiently for it to grow and to then find a best friend sort of relationship, but in the meantime I could use a local friend in the church to hang out with sometimes. But now I need to go ask permission to make friends? I so do not think so. Oh no..not at all.

Can anyone say, cult?

Unfortunately, this is all too common. Right up there with those churches where you are expected to get permission to date and marry.

Oh I love my pastor. lol I just do. Permission to date or marry? Oh I don't think so. I do think by the time I might ever entertain the thought I'll be quite happy to ask for his counsel on the matter though. But not cuz he demands that I do.

That was kind of my first impression. My pastor talked me down a fair bit though. HIS take on it is what really matters. I now know what to tell people when they ask me at least.

You have to decide how much power over you that you give to other people. Sounds like you are very open about what you are doing, so anyone that has a problem with that is out of line.

Both churches would not have a problem as long as you give 10% to each.

To me that is the bottom line.

Since my income is exactly ZERO, I can quite easily oblige them both.

Is this a deep waters issue?

I wasn't sure where to put it. Move it if you must...