[RandyWayne]

If you have ever rejoiced when someone repented. Rejoiced when someone received the Holy Ghost. Rejoiced when someone was baptized, but saved the REAL rejoicing for when they showed up in a dress or shaved and looking the part, you ARE an apostolic redneck!

If you ever got out of square dancing in gym class, then your parents are apostolic rednecks.

If you ever stopped talking to you best friend after they left your current church for another because it was demanded from the platform that they be shunned, you may be an apostolic redneck.

If your wife goes through a whole can of hairspray on a single Sunday, you may be an apostolic redneck.

If you always call theaters "movie houses" or swimming "mixed bathing", or calling anyone who discovered even a sliver of liberty a "backslider", you may be an apostolic redneck.

And finally, if you refuse to run from any danger -not because you feel God will protect you, but because your wife has uncut hair, you may be an apostolic redneck.