Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirth1981
Well, I'm not sure if many of you will remember my story. I left the UPC in 2010. Married to a UPC minister (he was at the time, not now)...broke his heart when I left, etc., etc...I did a lot of research and personal Bible study around the time I left, because I'd always had a nagging suspicion that some of the UPC doctrines I'd been taught did not have a strong biblical basis, mostly those concerning "standards"....but also some of the bigger ones.
He ended up leaving eventually also, and letting his license go. I suspect in large part because of the strain on our marriage (yes, we came close to divorce), but also for other reasons as well.
Anyway, my husband and I recently moved to a different state. We both agreed before moving that we wanted a fresh start spiritually, and we both wanted to find a church that we could attend together and find some spiritual healing. We both felt (and still feel) hurt and broken...wounded, confused.
So we went "church shopping." That sounds horrible, but I guess that's what some people call it. We searched for non denom churches that allowed God's spirit to move in their services. We prayed for God to show us where he wanted us to be. Yet we never felt that nudge or confirmation in those churches, although I did enjoy some of the teaching. In the meantime, old friends of my husband's kept inviting us to their UPC church. Finally we visited...and after several visits we both agreed to stay a while.
So now here we are. Attending a UPC church again...together. I guess it's a compromise. I can't say that I've changed my mind regarding the doctrines I disagree with. That probably won't happen. The pastor seems like a balanced man, and he and his family seem like quality people. It seems like a balanced church so far.
Yet I can't help but feel like I'm taking a step backwards. I also fear that things are going to come right back around and history is going to repeat itself, and I don't want to go through that again. It was an extremely painful process. I'm not sure what the purpose of all this is.
Anybody out there that has had a similar experience or could offer any input?
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I don't think you've made the wrong decision, ultimately you need to be in church you can feel comfortable and grow in, even if you don't agree with everything. I started athread on here about considering going back to a UPC church (I think as of today it is on todays posts, and also accessable in the fellowship hall). Its not that I agree with the UPC in everyway, but just that I still find more common ground with the UPC than pretty much any other church. I've tried a few churches, and ultimately settled in a Bible church.
So far that's where I still am, but largely because I'm the preacher there now, so I don't want to leave, nor do I see the need to leave while that is the arrangement. But I'm sure my doctrinal disagreements are greater than yours with the UPC (if your problems are primarily standards related) yet I still feel I could exist in a UPC church better than probably any other confessedly trinitarian church. In short, I understand your mixed feelings, but my advice is, keep up your studies, live for Jesus not the church, and be a blessing to the church.