Quote:
Originally Posted by Ferd
one of the least helpful things you can do for someone who is hurting themselves is to "help them"
it aint help. Its enabling. I have a cousin who his 50 and is a completely drug/alcohol addicted drain on society. He needs to go to jail so he can be saved.
when he was young and started in the wrong direction family members kept getting him out of trouble and keeping him from having to deal with the results of his behavior.
now he is utterly useless.
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Yes, I agree that it is enabling. I think this is what the bible is talking about when it says:
To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
There comes a time, when you have done everything you can....and you have to let go...and trust God. The person you love could even die....but there is really nothing you can do. You really have to save your self from the situation(s). I don't think you have to cut yourself off completely, just do what you are comfortable with.
My brother, I hadn't seen in about 2 years....didn't even know where he was living and I asked my Mom (who has had the only contact) and I went to visit him for a couple hours. Then he became homeless again more recently. My mom, bless her heart, stood up to him and although she had a really hard time seems to be stronger now.
As for my BIL, his Mom, my MIL refuses to have any contact for her own sanity. My husband has marginal contact. He pretty much only hears from him when he wants something and my husband told him so.
The nephew, son of the BIL, is starting the same route, but I feel somewhat sorry for him as he was thrown around from place to place all his life. Poor kid. But I try not to get too involved in that either....but it's hard.
I have my hands full with my son, who we believe to have aspergers. Give me a break, world.