Quite honestly, I don't know what you want me to say.
You are an older man than I am and have been in the ministry longer.
I am a young guy.
It does trouble me to see anybody who has believed and preached this message start questioning it, because of the many I have seen not be able to stop the pendulum from swinging once it starts.
I will advise this one thing--
If you do, God forbid, change your beliefs, please don't jackhammer the foundation out from under the folks you have preached to for years.
If your conscience won't let you continue preaching the
Acts 2:38 message at some point down the road, please go somewhere and start over, or find a church that has never believed it.
I have seen too many confused and wounded people who never recover from these brutal transitions with preachers who have epiphanies in the middle of the race.
I have family, immediate family that will likely never get it together because of this phenomenon.