[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by crazyhomie

I do. There are a myriad of reason a wife/spouse would reenter or stay in an abusive enviornment. Some of the following reasons may or may not be applicable due to the age of the abused and how long they have been in this situation.

The first trick of an abuser is to isolate his spouse from any outside influence, thus removing any threat of intervention.

If the wife was raised in an abusive enviornment and witnessed this behavior during her developmental years from her parents, she would consider this love/hate relationship to be normal and would continue in it until it became ingrained in her personality and would continue to embrace it. Any intervention would be perceived by her as an intrusion into her lifestyle and would be threatened by it. Thus defending the abuser.

If the wife was not raised in an abusive/dysfunctional enviornment, she would be more prone to seek help, albeit there may be children involved/finances, etc. and she would make sacrifices for her children based upon her perception of her own self-worth and whether or not the risk of leaving the abuser is justified in her own mind depending on the varied degrees of abuse and how much the home can withstand.

Many times a spouse becomes an "enabler" by working against the situation and her behavior precipitates more abuse. I would recommend for any spouse to seek professional counseling from a well trained caring christian counselor.

There's is the added complication that many abusers are con-artists...which allows for their private abuse of children and spouse to continue virtually unseen by the outside world, and in many cases reports of abuse would be met with disbelief, considering what a "nice guy" this man may be. Many times a woman will leave, only to be showered with love, affection and tearful apologies from her abuser, and she will be convinced that he is a changed man, and give him another chance...and another...and another...and....

Add to that, that most churches frown on separation and divorce, even for legitimate reasons, and sometimes the pressure to reconcile can come from unexpected sources, including parents, in-laws and even pastors.