Originally Posted by BTGAP MOM
Broken & Weary....
When the kitchen and the bathroom floor need repair, the laptop falls and breaks, the new bass falls out and gets scratched, the back of the house in desperate need of attention, the bills aren't getting paid, and you can't get any peace at church, you & your family are constantly under attack,
no matter how much you fast, no matter how much you pray, no matter how many years to try to live your best and do as much as possible for the Lord....
the lawn mower got stolen....there's prostitutes and crack houses taking over your neighborhood and all the years of prayer and work....look for naught....
Things continue to get worse and break...including your heart...
so what do you do...
pray ..........Though he slay me, yet will I trust him....
This is the hardest time to trust him, & I despreately need prayer....
I have cried my eyes out, had my pity party...still don't feel a bit better....Bro. B didn't get the teaching position at the college....
Bro. Bill Mills preached when you are down to nothing God is up to something....
well folks.....sad to say...but I am down to nothing...I have no strength, no hope, no faith....weary in well-doing.....and can't even pray right....I am angry, upset, tired and fed up....
and wondering why....God has taken my Dad, my Mom, my first apostolic Pastor, & the one that baptized has backslid.....every church we have been in has been attacked and fallen apart....since we came into this truth....
our home church and our family is under a huge spiritual battle right now...and well to be honest...I want to quit....but I don't know how....
I have given it all to God ...including all the broken things....from my heart to the church.... to the home....I have prayed until I have bursted the blood vessels in my eyes... my throat is sore from interceding....I have nothing left to give....nothing ....
I have a niece with an unborn baby with Turner's Disease, a brother-in-law undergoing radiation and chemo...a nephew facing prison time for defending himself in a brawl...
None of my family is in this precious truth...yet....(13 years of praying...God help...I have no strength left...) with the exception of my 3 children...thank God...for them..
I am tired of going to hospitals, and the phone ringing for prayer, and trying to be the peace maker...cleaning the church, staying humble when they chew you up an dspit you out....and the list continues...you can never please anyone ever.....and you wonder why you try...
I watch the prosperity of the wicked and it just frustrates me to no end......
I have tried all my life to live for the Lord...and gladly received this truth over 13 years ago....
With nothing to show for it....or so it seems...Everything we have ever tried to do has backfired in our faces...seems almost hopeless...
I have prayed for a God's eye view ...but I only have a catapillar's view...and it looks bad....
I am not a fakey fake person...this is the real deal...
my husband has worked his backside off for over 20 years trying to make a decent living for his family and preach this gospel where no one wanted to go....he has lived in trucks and cars...ate out of cans, bathed in truck stops to bathrooms just to make ends meet.....
I am spiritually and physically at the end of my rope....
I do not want any sympathy, nor do I want any encouragement scriptures or off the sleeve messages......
I simply ask for those of you who truly care....to pray for us...
If you hear from the Lord....I will receive it...
other than that....just pray....only God can help...no words, or scriptures, or advice...just simply pray....
This battle will only be won in the spirit....and well right now as you can tell....I am in the flesh....
Please understand....I simply need the one and only TRUE GOD....to intervene....
Forgive me for unloading, hoping it would help to ask for prayer, be honest and get it off my chest...
Completely broken
Rhonie/Sister Bridges...BTGAP Mom...just as long as it's in the Lamb's Book of life...I don't care....what they call me...
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