[ReformedDave]

Friends: Never ask for food.

Real Friends: Are the reason you have no food.

Friends: Will say "hello."

Real Friends: Will give you a big hug and a kiss.

Friends: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.

Real Friends: Call your parents mom and dad.

Friends: Have never seen you cry.

Real Friends: Cry with you.

Friends: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.

Real Friends: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing and just being together.

Friends: Borrow your stuff for a few days and then give it back.

Real Friends: Keep your stuff so long as they forget it’s yours.

Friends: Know a few things about you.

Real Friends: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

Friends: Will leave you behind it that’s what the crowd is doing.

Real Friends: Will kick the whole crowds’ *** that left you.

Friends: Would knock on your door.

Real Friends: Walk right in and say, "I’m home."

Friends: Are for a while.

Real Friends: Are for life.

Friends: Will ignore this.

Real Friends: Will forward this.