I think you should call a church meeting and take a vote on this issue. And go from there. I believe the best democracy is a hypocracy! (wait a minute... that didn't quite come out right...)

but SERIOUSLY....

Isn't this REALLY about restoring the integrity of the commitment you made to be a part of the group you are talking about?

I use the word INTEGRITY here not as maybe you have known it to be.... as a moral issue. But I use the word ~ Integrity ~ as referring to a state of being WHOLE and COMPLETE!

If I were your Pastor here would be MY suggestion...

I would simply go to the Music Director and ask him or her to please clarify the expectations and commitment that he / or she expects from everyone. Then YOU must be responsible to examine your own life and your priorities to see if YOU can make that commitment full out.

Maybe your M.D. simply has a commitment to offer up their gift of worship with a level of excellence that allows them to be true to God, their gift and their calling. And we all know that it's time our churches bring something fresh and new and annointed as an offering to the most high and excellent God.

AND If I were your Pastor I would not accept anything less.

So you see my friend, [I]at this point[I], this issue has NOTHING to do with your Pastor. And let me also add ~ IF he or she is someone who "rarely lets anyone step down" then this sounds like a case of classic freakish religious control ~ aka abuse.

So ~ in short ~ Be responsible for your own choices my sister and serve with integrity and passion and MOST OF ALL PLEASE BE where you are supposed to be WHEN you are supposed to BE there. And I mean REALLY BE THERE ~ not just "there" taking up physical space while your heart and soul is in an upset about being there for a certain amount of time. THAT will kill the team my friend. And I have a hard time believing that would be like Christ!

Be well. NOT right!