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Re: Why am I labeled backslid and unusable by God
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Originally Posted by Jeffrey
Feelings are NOT involuntary. My dad dies tomorrow and I'm sad. You tell me my feelings are just voluntary. Go ahead. Circumstances press our feelings often. What is controllable is how deep and long we let those feelings help us or hurt us. Often times feelings are a gift to us. They help us.
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Huh?  Most feelings ARE involuntary. We don't control our initial emotions, most of the time.
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Yes... we all know this is RIGHT and makes sense. I could have given myself the counsel that some gave me. I knew the response, the rhetoric. The nice pats on the back to "well, just pray." That's all shallow and empty when you're in the throws of a fire bigger than you've ever faced.
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I've been in that same fire. What worked for me...eventually...was putting it all in God's hands and choosing to forgive the people who had wounded me. It was a long process (7-8 years), but eventually He worked it out, and I didn't have to. Does that mean I never felt hurt or angry? No--of course I felt those things. I did do my best to keep my own nose clean, and it paid off in the long run. Returning evil for evil is not the best salve for a broken heart.
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"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
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