[shazeep]

This seems radical to me, but i have heard of couples having success with separating until they miss each other, noting and being thankful for whatever quality it is that is missed. Another point in the program, the name of which is eluding me, seemed to be to develop personal interests also, and become more self reliant, the argument being 'and thus more attractive' in a sense.

Our spouses tend to be the ones who "save" us in a sense, like 'from ourselves,' and this inevitably devolves into an unhealthy codependence that may be tolerated, but tends to be wearing. The best fire might be the one you light under yourself.

I'm not retelling it very well; another big point seemed to be about changing one's expectations in their mate--another codependence flag, unrealistic expectations.