Getting Cut From The Red River Chorale

[timlan2057]

I'm a man.



I can't believe I'm blogging and "pouring my heart out" or whatever.



For the last two years I sang with the Red River Chorale ... a choral group of central Louisiana's finest singers. I feel like I'm a very good bass singer.



Now I'll admit when I auditioned two years ago for then-director Fred Graham, I walked from the fellowship hall of St. Frances Xavier Cathedral and told my son: "they won't take me. I'm a old southern gospel Oak-Ridge-Boys type bass and they want guys who can read music - even IF they sing like a robot."



You could have knocked me over with a feather when I made it. I told Fred straight out I didn't read music but I guess he appreciated my ability as a vocalist.



We got a new director in midstream this year, Dr. Burt Allen - the choral director at Northwestern State University. He is quite demanding which I enjoyed.



I actually thought my sightreading was improving. After the season was over, Allen said he wanted to hear us individually ... he never would say it was an audition.



Well, I guess it was since I got this email from him this morning:

Dear Tim,

I am about to send out the list of those selected to be in next year's Red
River Chorale.


Before I do, I think it best to notify you that we did not select you for
the upcoming year.


I know you have been a dedicated member in the past and have worked hard for
the Chorale.

Unfortunately, due to balance issues and issues of your own
musical skills, we do not have a place for you in the choir for next year.



I want to thank you for your efforts in the past and encourage you to keep
singing.

You have a fine voice and in a setting that is less demanding on
learning the music accurately and quickly you can make a real contribution.


I am sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but this has to be done.

Once
again, thank you for all your contributions in the past and I wish you the
best in your future endeavors.



Burt Allen, Artistic Director
Red River Chorale


So there you go.



I knew from the start that many of the chorale were music professors and teachers who were experts at reading music. But doggone, I was the best bass vocalist in that chorale even though my musical training was strictly by ear and I never had formal training sightreading.



I was improving along that line and I think my vocal abilities more than compensated for that.



Now ... I've played on sports teams and been cut. I'm a man and I know how that goes. NFL players aren't promised to keep their job forever. But hey guys, I'm human. It hurts.



When you are part of something that you enjoy and take pride in, it cuts like a knife to be told you can't be a part of it anymore.



Being a bass singer in the elite choral group in central Louisiana was a big part of my identity.



And Burt ... once again I have no personal problems with you cutting me.



But be a man and be straight up with people.



You NEVER said this was an audition. You mealy-mouthed around about it, saying you wanted "a better picture of the balance of the chorale for next year."



The manly way to handle that is to be straightforward. Announce after last season: "As the new director, I am auditioning the entire chorale and some of you might not be here next year."

I would have respected you a lot more.

"

Well, I have been thinking of joining the Episcopal Church and the St. James church choir has several RRC members in it. Perhaps I can get a bit of sightreading education and audition again in 2009.



I wouldn't have thought getting cut would affect me that much but I took pride that I was a man's man succeeding in frankly, a field where "men's men" usually fit in like a bull in a china closet.



So yes ... it hurts.



This is summer break. It will hurt more when I see the advertisements for concerts in the paper next year.



I don't think I can take making the Christmas program in the beautiful St. Frances Xavier Cathedral sanctuary. It will hurt too much being in the audience instead of in my tux on the platform in the bass section.



I'm blessed.



I just watched my little girl graduate as valedictorian of her class and take pride that she will be going to Tulane University - one of the elite academic schools in the country - on full scholarship.



But I have pride. I took pride in my singing and musical ability. Yeah, I know Red River Chorale was a DIFFERENT kind of singing. Heck, Elvis Presley and The Temptations were not expert music sight readers.



But it hurts.



That's the only way I can conclude ... it hurts badly.

[rgcraig]

I know this has to be disappointing for you.

I'm sorry.

[CC1]

Tim,

Sorry to hear what happened. I know from your many posts that you really enjoyed and took great pride in being part of that musical group.

Sometimes there are just no "right" words to make a situation better so I won't try other than to say "been there done that, got the T Shirt and don't wanna go back!".

It may not have been singing but most of us have had these things happen in life and they are never easy.

If you don't feel sad, angry and rejected then you would not be human. Even when we know it really isn't personal and there are reasons for something happening it doesn't make it any less personal or hurtful.

[Cindy]

Sorry to hear this Tim. But that does happen a lot when a new leader comes in.

[SDG]

Sorry bro ... you have to endure this ... especially when it's something you like ... and are passionate about.

Will pray God bring you peace about it.

[Scott Hutchinson]

I'm sorry friend as I do know what it is like to feel pain and hurt myself.

[Hoovie]

Sorry Tim. Any other community chorales in the area?

[Sweet Pea]

Tim,

I don't know you personally as some here do.... however, I feel your pain. I hope that you are somehow able to find a vocal outlet in some other group that will give you as much satisfaction as this did.

[Mosby48]

I can see where you are coming from and I know how you feel. I don't know anything about this chorale, but; to me, if these folks ain't doing it for money then they are a bunch of elitist slobs. I would go with those other choirs you mentioned, you'd probably enjoy the people better. I will pray the Lord helps you get over the pain and uplifts your spirit.

[MissBrattified]

Awww, Timlan!!!! I'm sorry!

Dr. Burt sounds like a Lame Schmuck. (Yes, Ronzo, I know that's technically a bad word. )