Why Am I So Lonely?

[The Matt]

I've lived with an aunt and uncle of mine since I'm about 16 years old. While I lived with em, I stayed in my room all alone, all day unless I was at work, at church, or visiting with someone. Today, I moved into my first home of my very own at 25. It's located on my dad's property. My sister is literally 50 steps away from me in my dad's house. Yet I'm lonely. Like...my heart hurts I'm so lonely. And I don't mean poetic heartache hurts. I mean I'm having physical chestpains above my heart. Is this normal? PS just to be clear, *double checks* yep I'm a male, so I'm definitely not on my period.

[houston]

Sounds like a heart attack.

[AreYouReady?]

I've been there before Matt.

Loneliness is not an easy thing to deal with.

God said it is not good for man to be alone.

I prayed and had faith that God would send me the love of my life and He did.

There is someone for everyone...and for you too.

[houston]

Not for everyone! Eunuch for the kingdom...

[Amanah]

doggie kisses for you Matt

I think the reason you are lonely is that we as humans have a profound realization of being separate entities, separate identities, and we long to find unity with another being. Of course that deepest unity can only truly be accomplished with the Spirit of God. But we also long to connect to other human beings. And relationships with human beings are tricky and complicated. We are thinking beings and it’s hard to feel connected to someone who has divergent views from the views you possess. And the longing to find a soul mate, someone who can understand where you are coming from can make one feel eternally lonely. People will tell you that only God can fill that void. And I'm sure that must be ultimately true. But it doesn’t always stop the painful longing we feel to have someone human to connect with on the deepest of levels.

It is so important to live in community and to participate in a community of believers. It’s also important to interact with humanity in general through activities with church members and coworkers, volunteering to help other people, Church ministries such as prison ministry, or feeding the homeless.
You can also find a profound sense of meaning from doing secular volunteering with organizations such as meals on wheels, or even walking dogs at the Humane Society.

Ultimately there is only one way to find peace, joy, love, and fulfillment. It is the way of the Cross, It is through giving yourself away that you will find yourself.

The Prayer of St Francis
Lord make me an instrument of thy peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow Love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
Where there is sadness, joy

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love
For it is in giving that we receive
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.

[bbyrd009]

A big amen. You might start with the dogs-
-they are the most obviously appreciative.

[Cindy]

Because you are alone, alone for the first time in your life.

[Falla39]

Originally Posted by Cindy

Because you are alone, alone for the first time in your life.

Matt,
It could be partially what Cindy has stated, but could be a combination of reasons. But I have a feeling, although you have lived with an aunt and uncle since you were 16 yrs old, your Mom was alive. No doubt the circimstances just this month have contributed to your feeling of being alone.
In 1970 we lost a little 5 1/2 yr old daughter in an accident. While God gave tremendeous peace and comfort during the funeral, etc. Felt as if I was surrounded by a sheet of protection, shielding me from the blast of what had happened. Six weeks later, I received a letter from a dear elderly friend who had just learned of our tragedy. She wrote a short note, saying she had not known at the time. She enclosed a beautiful poem entitled "KIM", she had written. That poem triggered something in me. I fell apart, realization awaking in me that my child would never come home again in this life. Delayed grief perhaps.
Matt, just a very short time ago you posted the following request in the "Prayer Room".

Prayer Needed For Bereavement. 5-7-2012

My mom died today, at about 4:00 pm. Please keep me and my family, especially my sister Maegan, and my dad Marcus, in prayer.
__________________

Though it seemed you may have been okay, it is possible that REALITY has set in! Mom is not coming home again. It has been almost 13 yrs since my own dear sweet Mother left us, a week or so after Mother's Day. Tomorrow is Mother's Day again and I sit here weeping as I feel I can identify with your loneliness. After all these years, I still miss my "Momma".
May our Great LORD GOD bring you the PEACE and COMFORT this first Mother's Day without your Mom!

HUGS!

Falla39

[Amanah]

Matt,

I think Falla is hitting the nail on the head. There are days and times that trigger the memories of loss and bring on the feeling of loneliness that you described. Yes Mother's day is on Sunday, and anyone who has lost a Mother, or a Child is going to feel the pain of it.

God Bless you and keep you in his arms Matt.

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by Falla39

Matt,
It could be partially what Cindy has stated, but could be a combination of reasons. But I have a feeling, although you have lived with an aunt and uncle since you were 16 yrs old, your Mom was alive. No doubt the circimstances just this month have contributed to your feeling of being alone.
In 1970 we lost a little 5 1/2 yr old daughter in an accident. While God gave tremendeous peace and comfort during the funeral, etc. Felt as if I was surrounded by a sheet of protection, shielding me from the blast of what had happened. Six weeks later, I received a letter from a dear elderly friend who had just learned of our tragedy. She wrote a short note, saying she had not known at the time. She enclosed a beautiful poem entitled "KIM", she had written. That poem triggered something in me. I fell apart, realization awaking in me that my child would never come home again in this life. Delayed grief perhaps.
Matt, just a very short time ago you posted the following request in the "Prayer Room".

Prayer Needed For Bereavement. 5-7-2012

My mom died today, at about 4:00 pm. Please keep me and my family, especially my sister Maegan, and my dad Marcus, in prayer.
__________________

Though it seemed you may have been okay, it is possible that REALITY has set in! Mom is not coming home again. It has been almost 13 yrs since my own dear sweet Mother left us, a week or so after Mother's Day. Tomorrow is Mother's Day again and I sit here weeping as I feel I can identify with your loneliness. After all these years, I still miss my "Momma".
May our Great LORD GOD bring you the PEACE and COMFORT this first Mother's Day without your Mom!

HUGS!

Falla39

I believe you're right, Falla. I lost my Mom when I was 16, and although I was not alone, I was very lonesome for her. I hated everybody for a while, and I was angry at her for leaving me. And there are times I still want and need my Mama.
Will be praying for you, Matt.