Knowing When to Quit

Charnock · #1 12-07-2010, 05:18 PM

The older you get, the more you realize the value of time. You see, time is not like money or goods. It's not renewable. Once it's spent, it's gone forever. Over the past year, I've made some of the biggest, and hardest, decisions of my life with that thought in mind.

This “revelation” is why I refuse to give another minute to some "lost causes." It's why I refuse to work for free. It's why I refuse to sow in fields that refuse to produce a harvest. It’s why I decided to cut some dead weight out of my life.

I have decided to employ the concept of reciprocity in everything I do. Reciprocity is defined as the law of sowing and reaping. Sowing, with no expectation of a harvest, is against the natural and spiritual laws of God.

I have learned that some people will suck the life out of you. They are emotional black holes. They are forever drowning, and screaming for help, with no real desire to be saved. If my compassion is not tempered with a healthy dose of self-preservation they will pull me down with them. I will be destroyed by people who do not value what I have to offer, or the things of God.

Unfortunately, we Christians buy into the myth that we are the only thing keeping some folks from Hell. This myth loads us down with unhealthy guilt, and can rob us of joy, because there is no way, even with our best efforts, we can save anyone who doesn’t really want to be saved. If we truly are "the only thing between them and Hell" they aren't going to make it anyway. Jesus is the only Savior.

So preach the Gospel. Reach for the lost. Preach hope and salvation. Give to charities. Counsel others. Bear each other’s burdens.

But there comes a time when we must tell some folks to put on their big boy boots and grow up.

In Galatians 6:1, Paul stated it this way:

“Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.”

It is not God’s will that his ministers continually live in a state of defeat because the field in which they sow refuses to produce. If the people and ministries we're investing in are purposefully unproductive, and resistant to growth, we need to stop, and alter our course.

I’ve had to walk away from some people who quench the Spirit’s work. I’ve had to sever relationships with people who were users, abusers and manipulators. This may seem harsh, but I had to make a decision to save myself because continually “saving” them was destroying me.

All of my life I've heard "never quit." I bought into that, BIG TIME, and doing so was a huge mistake. I wasted precious time and energy on endeavors that simply refused to bear fruit. I have learned that sometimes it’s necessary to quit. Sometimes you need to stop what you're doing and, until you do, God isn't going to bless your ministry.

Hoovie · #2 12-07-2010, 08:41 PM

Thank you Charn. Some very wise words I think. Congratulations! on doing the right thing - not just for others, but yourself as well!

ILG · #3 12-07-2010, 08:56 PM

Very good thoughts.

Cindy · #4 12-07-2010, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charnock

The older you get, the more you realize the value of time. You see, time is not like money or goods. It's not renewable. Once it's spent, it's gone forever. Over the past year, I've made some of the biggest, and hardest, decisions of my life with that thought in mind.

This “revelation” is why I refuse to give another minute to some "lost causes." It's why I refuse to work for free. It's why I refuse to sow in fields that refuse to produce a harvest. It’s why I decided to cut some dead weight out of my life.

I have decided to employ the concept of reciprocity in everything I do. Reciprocity is defined as the law of sowing and reaping. Sowing, with no expectation of a harvest, is against the natural and spiritual laws of God.

I have learned that some people will suck the life out of you. They are emotional black holes. They are forever drowning, and screaming for help, with no real desire to be saved. If my compassion is not tempered with a healthy dose of self-preservation they will pull me down with them. I will be destroyed by people who do not value what I have to offer, or the things of God.

Unfortunately, we Christians buy into the myth that we are the only thing keeping some folks from Hell. This myth loads us down with unhealthy guilt, and can rob us of joy, because there is no way, even with our best efforts, we can save anyone who doesn’t really want to be saved. If we truly are "the only thing between them and Hell" they aren't going to make it anyway. Jesus is the only Savior.

So preach the Gospel. Reach for the lost. Preach hope and salvation. Give to charities. Counsel others. Bear each other’s burdens.

But there comes a time when we must tell some folks to put on their big boy boots and grow up.

In Galatians 6:1, Paul stated it this way:

“Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.”

It is not God’s will that his ministers continually live in a state of defeat because the field in which they sow refuses to produce. If the people and ministries we're investing in are purposefully unproductive, and resistant to growth, we need to stop, and alter our course.

I’ve had to walk away from some people who quench the Spirit’s work. I’ve had to sever relationships with people who were users, abusers and manipulators. This may seem harsh, but I had to make a decision to save myself because continually “saving” them was destroying me.

All of my life I've heard "never quit." I bought into that, BIG TIME, and doing so was a huge mistake. I wasted precious time and energy on endeavors that simply refused to bear fruit. I have learned that sometimes it’s necessary to quit. Sometimes you need to stop what you're doing and, until you do, God isn't going to bless your ministry.

Good thoughts.

DAII · #5 12-08-2010, 05:37 AM

Amen.
I think this falls under the category of enabling and co-dependency.

*AQuietPlace* · #6 12-08-2010, 05:48 AM

For the most part, this is very true. Although you do have to be careful to not quit too quickly. Sometimes it's not meant to be. Sometimes it is, but it's going to be hard work getting there. I think the hard part is knowing the difference.

Digging4Truth · #7 12-08-2010, 07:44 AM

Great post Charnock.

Knowing when you are facing a losing battle is a key skill in life.

Sometimes you just have to walk away because no manner of teaching outside experiencing the consequence of ones actions in person will ever be heard.

And even then people often will find a way to blame others for the cost of their actions.