Okay... so let me get this straight...
According to these studies we should consider the following:
- Drinking 6 or more cups of coffee a day reduces a man's chances for developing prostate cancer by 20%.
- Having 20 or more sexual conquests in a lifetime reduces a man's chances for developing prostate cancer by 28%.
If we combine these findings we can assume the following...
- By drinking six or more cups of coffee a day and engaging regular love making with 20 or more women... a man could conceivably reduce his chances of prostate cancer by 48%. That's almost 50%!
With that in mind, I have to ask...
What are the odds of a man finding 20 or more "very open minded" baristas? 99.9% of men aren't all that lucky. The other 0.1% are lying. I wonder... What if a man made love to a cup of coffee 6 or more times a day??? The same thing that would happen to a man tried to juggle over 20 women! He'd get BURNED!!! ... or come down with some strange disease nick named "the beanie weenie". Definitely not worth it.
The study relating to frequency of sex also found that men who are virgins are almost twice as likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer as those who are sexually experienced. I guess this is one reason you geeks out there need to drop your game controller and get some real "game" real fast. No girl cares about your kill ration in Call of Duty nor that you know the name of every alien race and character in the Star Wars Saga. This is life or death, dude. Take a shower, get a hair cut, and buy some classy cologne, move out of your mom's, get your own place, mingle! The mindless fun of "Geekdom" is not worth dying over. Trade your Xbox 360 in for a subscription to GQ before it's too late.
I really feel sorry for those guys who have never escaped the "Friend Zone" and can't handle a strong cup of coffee. According to these studies, unless you're a java guzzling King Solomon... you stand a good chance of being a statistic.