Helped Save A Life Today

[jediwill83]

I'm working 8 days straight...thats 8 days of 24 hours a day at the station...I dont do it often but it was needed...anyways I really havent been involved in a serious "Life and death is balancing on the razors edge" save in a while...to be honest its been pretty draining and depressing because you get the feeling like you are so ineffective at your job..weighs on you terribly.Anyways we get a call today about someone with a bleeding dialysis shunt..we get there and it was bad....real bad...Not going through the details but lets just say we hung 4 bags of blood and 3 bags of saline and when it was all said and done they airlifted her out and she was pretty stable.

[n david]

Originally Posted by jediwill83

I'm working 8 days straight...thats 8 days of 24 hours a day at the station...I dont do it often but it was needed...anyways I really havent been involved in a serious "Life and death is balancing on the razors edge" save in a while...to be honest its been pretty draining and depressing because you get the feeling like you are so ineffective at your job..weighs on you terribly.Anyways we get a call today about someone with a bleeding dialysis shunt..we get there and it was bad....real bad...Not going through the details but lets just say we hung 4 bags of blood and 3 bags of saline and when it was all said and done they airlifted her out and she was pretty stable.

Praise God!

[CC1]

Good job Jedi knight!

[KeptByTheWord]

That is awesome Jedi! Thanks for sharing your story! I can't even imagine the mental things you have to deal with in your job. God bless you for serving your fellow man!

[Sean]

Dittos!

[MawMaw]

Good job! I'm sure that lady was thankful for
your work too!

[jediwill83]

I honestly was getting really burned out....I've been doing this for over 4 years and I feel like its what I'm supposed to be doing but I have worked waaay too many deaths in the past couple years...too many deaths...babies with SIDS...families distraught with grief while we work burdened with the futility that what we are doing isnt working because they are too far gone...husbands that have died after being married over 40 years...I'm driving with lights and sirens to the hospital holding the hand of the wife who is alternating between shock and hysteria...shes begging us to save her husband and I dont have the heart to tell her that hes not coming back but I cant bring myself to lie to give her false hope...and in the midst of the rush and the adrenaline I'm reminded that one day...someone may be in the drivers seat holding the hand of my wife...or myself torn between professional distance and empathy while myself or my wife lay on a stretcher.There is no dignity in death and what we do to forestall and intercede in its inevitable enroachment on our vaporous and fragile existence.This job makes you so aware of the fragile nature of life.Its a tradeoff...in one way with technology you stand in intercession between life and death...and sometimes you even win...but its a momentary win at best all the while with each win or loss you are made aware with increasing nagging urgency the unrelenting march towards death that you yourself are making.It makes me regret time I have wasted and cherish the time I have left...its a bittersweet ache where loss makes what little time we have left all the more precious.Where I once would seek conflict I now seek peace.I try to think before I act considering the end results because time is too precious to waste having to backtrack and correct mistakes.I know this is rambling but this is what is constantly going through my head.Needless to say this last "save" brought me out of a mental funk I was going through...I'm gonna be feeling energized over this for quite some time.

[ILG]

Great job at saving a life!

I also appreciate your ramblings. You have an incredibly stressful job.....one I would not want to do. I have sometimes wondered if we, in the US are so dependent on medicine that we forget to remember that we are finite human beings. Sometimes I think maybe we are better off focusing on that and accepting it. Do you have any thought on that?

[Abiding Now]

God bless your efforts.

[jediwill83]

Originally Posted by ILG

Great job at saving a life!

I also appreciate your ramblings. You have an incredibly stressful job.....one I would not want to do. I have sometimes wondered if we, in the US are so dependent on medicine that we forget to remember that we are finite human beings. Sometimes I think maybe we are better off focusing on that and accepting it. Do you have any thought on that?

Medicine can increase the length of life but not always the quality of life.Quality of life largely hinges on us and the decisions we make no matter what life passes our way.Time is like currency...we are all born with a finite amount but we have no idea our spending limit.I think you should live the best life you can while also realizing that we are here only for a brief moment.As with money you cant be overly wasteful and you cant be a Scrooge...you must seek a balance.

I think people are so clueless how precious life is and how close they are to the edge.Death is indescriminatate to morality..denomination...age...political party...sexual preference.It truely rains upon the just and the unjust.There are so many things I dont take for granted anymore...it sounds cliche but a sunrise or a sunset...a starlit night...holding my wifes hand and planting a huge kiss on her in public...a childs laugh or smile.I do my best to seek a peaceful existance and I try to avoid un-needed conflict.I am more understanding and patient in some ways but in some I am less tolerant because life is too short to put up with certain indignities.

I believe life is precious but I believe in dignity as well.There are certain dignities I would never want to be put through in certain situations.I honestly have been doing CPR on some patients that did not have a Do Not Resuscitate order and they were in such bad shape that I almost wished for their sake that they didnt come back...in my mind I'm apologizing for what I'm having to do...the indignity of it all.Its not anything I want to go through myself if I'm in really advanced age or painful debilitating illness.When I'm gone I want to be gone...I want to be left in peace.

This job is a blessing and a curse because I am pretty empathetic...I pick up on so much emotion and share it easily...it helps me relate with others really fast and really well but it also means I'm a raw nerve when I'm around others panicking and grieving...I have to suppress it and stay outwardly calm...I've gotten good at it but under the surface its a roiling tempest.I already had a morbid dark sense of humor before I got into this and its came as a advantage...I use humor to deflect and deal with things alot.

I dont want to do this for the rest of my life...I used to think I did but I dont...but for now it pays the bills so I'm thankful God has blessed me with the opportunity to do that.I'd love to be home every night though...I hate leaving my wife alone for two and three days at a time.I'm so proud of how strong she is and how she takes care of things while I'm gone.