Alienated Church: Father's and Mother's day

[Praxeas]

We will be "celebrating" Father's day, and, won't be going. Aside from the fact church is not supposed to be about celebrating anything BUT what the kingdom of God is about (not our days, birthdays, anniversaries etc etc), I find the whole thing alienating and somewhat dehumanizing.

I don't have a mother nor am I married to one so the whole "2 hour mother's day celebration) is alienating and a waste of time and gas.

I don't have a father nor am I one so again the whole "2 hour father's da celebration" thing is just alienating and a waste of time and gas.

Also it's often the same "fathers" who get the main honor, year after year. Yet when father's are asked to stand, year after year those who are not are left out.

I personally don't mind a "nod" to Mothers or Fathers but when the entire service is a celebration for Mothers and Fathers it's alienating to the rest of us. I have to also wonder about visitors when there is no gospel message but instead we have to endure an hour or so of pretty speeches, gift givings to only a special few and a 30 min video presentation. It's a let down. Honestly. I have begun to visit other services instead on these days in the hopes there will be some spiritually edifying message for EVERYONE and not just a segment of the group

[CC1]

Prax, you would probably like my church in this area as there will probably only be a brief mention of Father's day since that is what is done for pretty much any special occasion like that.

However, while I understand your disconnect from Mother's Day and Father's Day, you seem bitter towards folks who do have moms and dads and enjoy making it a big day for them both at church and home.

At one church I was a long time member of the pastor's wife always spoke on Mother's Day and it was a special treat. It was pretty much the only time during the year when she spoke to the entire congregation and she always had a great message dealing with mother's. I certainly did not resent those services being organized around Mother's Day as a theme. Heaven knows we need to lift up the role and importance of Motherhood in our society where it is minimized.

I feel the same way about Father's Day. Fatherhood is very important and I have no problem with a Sunday service having that as a focus.

[Praxeas]

Originally Posted by CC1

Prax, you would probably like my church in this area as there will probably only be a brief mention of Father's day since that is what is done for pretty much any special occasion like that.

However, while I understand your disconnect from Mother's Day and Father's Day, you seem bitter towards folks who do have moms and dads and enjoy making it a big day for them both at church and home.

At one church I was a long time member of the pastor's wife always spoke on Mother's Day and it was a special treat. It was pretty much the only time during the year when she spoke to the entire congregation and she always had a great message dealing with mother's. I certainly did not resent those services being organized around Mother's Day as a theme. Heaven knows we need to lift up the role and importance of Motherhood in our society where it is minimized.

I feel the same way about Father's Day. Fatherhood is very important and I have no problem with a Sunday service having that as a focus.

My issue was with what we do on church, not with those that are fathers and mothers. Don't know how you got the notion I am bitter towards them

[CC1]

Originally Posted by Praxeas

My issue was with what we do on church, not with those that are fathers and mothers. Don't know how you got the notion I am bitter towards them

I didn't think you were bitter towards moms and dads. Just bitter towards churches who choose to emphasize motherhood on Mother's day and Fatherhood on Father's day. Two things I think need to be emphasized in our current culture.

I think no one should have a problem with a church dedicating one service a year to motherhood or fatherhood and how it relates to Christianity.

[Sweet Pea]

Originally Posted by CC1

I didn't think you were bitter towards moms and dads. Just bitter towards churches who choose to emphasize motherhood on Mother's day and Fatherhood on Father's day. Two things I think need to be emphasized in our current culture.

I think no one should have a problem with a church dedicating one service a year to motherhood or fatherhood and how it relates to Christianity.

Dedicating a service to motherhood or fatherhood is one thing .......

HOWEVER .....

making people uncomfortable because they aren't parents (maybe through their choice - maybe due to circumstances beyond their control) ....

making people uncomfortable because they have lost their parents to death (possibly they were saved - possibly not) OR due to circumstances beyond their control, the relationship with their parents is severely estranged ....

making people uncomfortable because their children are backslidden and now the parents are made to feel guilty or failures because they feel condemnation at what is being preached during this one service - when in fact, their child made their own decision and choice and it had nothing to do with how the child was raised ....

making people uncomfortable because they came to church to honor their parent, but a message of the love of God and restoration by Jesus' sacrifice on the cross isn't preached, but rather a message of condemnation for walking away from "truth" - making both the parent and the "child" squirm (not in conviction) ....

I do have a problem with all of the above. And I've seen it all happen on Mothers Day and Fathers Day. OR Mothers Day is this HUGE ordeal and Fathers Day is barely mentioned. I'm sure that it is not intentional to make these people feel uncomfortable - but it happens. There are MANY hurting people on these two days and I don't think the church should flaunt it in their face.

[Titus2woman]

Wow... what an appropriate thread for today and thanks for bringing it up Prax. While we were in the UPC my grown kids were Baptist and my Mother was Catholic.... so no one but us and our youngest child was IN CHURCH. I hated mothers day services... Our thing was always the youth selling balloons for a dollar each to 'honor' the mother... It was nothing but another fund raiser and the families that had enough members in church took turns having the mother's in their families elected "MOTHER OF THE YEAR" buy pooling their money and focusing it on one family member. So in essence the Mother of the Year was bought and paid for. Then we had a two hour celebration where lessor balloon bouquets were passed out so everyone could know if you were a $5 mother or a $10 mother or a $50 mother... MOTY was usually somewhere between $500 and $1,000 although I've seen it sold as high as $1,200.

I found this degrading to childless women, women whose children were not part of the the UPC for whatever reason, women from lower income families, single mothers without a lot of support and felt that it alienated a lot of people for the sole purpose of making money for the church and 'honoring' the high tithe payers.

Fathers day was a little tamer with every father's name being thrown in a hat and then drawn for the gift of ties... The last guys called of course getting the ugly ones.... kinda funny at least.

Christmas... well it was at least a month long thing at our church... secret sister gifts, christmas ladies banquet, christmas banquet, christmas play, and even Satan Claus.... but I'll leave that post for December.

Oh... and for anyone who might be compelled to say it... We at AFF have already determined from previous threads that I am bitter... so don't bother mentioning the obvious...

[Michael The Disciple]

I feel the same about Christmas and Easter. Mixing the truth of Yeshua with paganism should be a no-no.

[Praxeas]

Originally Posted by Michael The Disciple

I feel the same about Christmas and Easter. Mixing the truth of Yeshua with paganism should be a no-no.

It's not the same. The issue Im speaking of is when the entire service is a celebration of Fathers and Mothers rather than attempting to minister to a general congregation but isolating just mothers or fathers.

For example, we have youth services. I don't go to them either, because it's all about youth.

But the Sunday morning service is supposed to be for everyone

[Renee29]

Not every service is for everyone. I wasn't a mother until my 30's and endured years of Mother's Day, Father's Day, watching super long boring kids programs etc. Trust me, I wasn't interested, but went to support my church. You are being a tad bit selfish.

[Praxeas]

Originally Posted by Renee29

Not every service is for everyone. I wasn't a mother until my 30's and endured years of Mother's Day, Father's Day, watching super long boring kids programs etc. Trust me, I wasn't interested, but went to support my church. You are being a tad bit selfish.

rofl...I'm selfish. Do you know me? How much money do you give to keep this forum going where you can self-righteously sit and pontificate who is selfish or not?

How am I supporting the church sitting through "super long boring" programs for one segment of the church hmm? By enduring the boredom? Please tell me how that is "supportive" of mothers and fathers? Then don't need my validation. And the arrogance of insisting I HAVE to be there for a function that isn't even what the bible tells us is a church function or else I'm selfish?

It's incredibly selfish of you to come here and judge me like that and insist I have to sit through what YOU called "super long boring" carnal celebrations else I'm selfish? Incredible.