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09-26-2011, 08:22 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: AZ
Posts: 16,746
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Divorce Letter
Divorce is never easy! See an example below of two heartfelt letters.
Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
—— Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Rich & Free Ex-Wife! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem
Last edited by MissBrattified; 09-26-2011 at 09:13 PM.
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09-26-2011, 08:42 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2010
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Re: Divorce Letter
ummmm....
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09-26-2011, 08:52 PM
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Isaiah 56:4-5
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SOUTH ZION
Posts: 11,307
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Re: Divorce Letter
Quote:
Originally Posted by kclee4jc
ummmm....
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yeah. 
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09-26-2011, 09:04 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 355
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Re: Divorce Letter
bwhaaahaaa haaa!
__________________
Bella1 "Live 4 2 Day"
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09-26-2011, 09:12 PM
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Administrator
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 13,829
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Re: Divorce Letter
HAHA!!!! 
__________________
"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
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09-26-2011, 10:22 PM
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Administrator
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 16,848
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Re: Divorce Letter
Now that is funny.
__________________
"I think some people love spiritual bondage just the way some people love physical bondage. It makes them feel secure. In the end though it is not healthy for the one who is lost over it or the one who is lives under the oppression even if by their own choice"
Titus2woman on AFF
"We did not wear uniforms. The lady workers dressed in the current fashions of the day, ...silks...satins...jewels or whatever they happened to possess. They were very smartly turned out, so that they made an impressive appearance on the streets where a large part of our work was conducted in the early years.
"It was not until long after, when former Holiness preachers had become part of us, that strict plainness of dress began to be taught.
"Although Entire Sanctification was preached at the beginning of the Movement, it was from a Wesleyan viewpoint, and had in it very little of the later Holiness Movement characteristics. Nothing was ever said about apparel, for everyone was so taken up with the Lord that mode of dress seemingly never occurred to any of us."
Quote from Ethel Goss (widow of 1st UPC Gen Supt. Howard Goss) book "The Winds of God"
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09-27-2011, 05:54 AM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,270
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Re: Divorce Letter
Owned
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09-27-2011, 09:18 AM
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Prayerful lives are powerful
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,711
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Re: Divorce Letter
Too funny!
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09-27-2011, 10:30 AM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: ohio
Posts: 614
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Re: Divorce Letter
sounds like what my x did to me. she said I had done nothing wrong. I got layed off from my job and she said no job no marriage. What ever happened to loyality?
for better or worse?
richer or poorer?
i guess it is ok for her to break the rules but not me. To my x, I forgive you!!!!!!!
The next woman will be a better one. ha ha ha 
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