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  #31  
Old 02-25-2012, 09:19 AM
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KeptByTheWord KeptByTheWord is offline
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Re: Facebook & Divorces

I just read a book called the Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. It deals with many of the reasons adultery occurs in a marriage, because the love languages spoken in a marriage, may not be understood by the spouse. It is a great read, and the light came on for me while reading, and understanding why so many people have trouble communicating in a marriage, because the way they want love to be shown to them, never happens, and it leaves them lonely and miserable.

In your friend's case, her husband may be a man who shows his love by working hard and maybe he has the language of "Acts of Service" where he thinks, as long as he is working hard and providing for his family, he is showing his love.

The wife, it appears, needs Quality Time and perhaps Words of Affirmation to feel that she is loved, and so both of them are miserably existing together because their efforts at showing love to each other aren't being received, and neither feel loved.

This is a great book, and maybe you could suggest it to your friend, or at least that she get godly counseling as you said, because it appears that a Band-Aid has been put on the sitaution for now, but until the root of the problem is dealt with, she is likely to have to deal with this issue again in the future, despite her best intentions...

I will be praying for your friend T2W, as I do believe marriages can be healed, and be stronger in a situation like this, as you can learn from your mistakes. But it does take a strong faith in God to overcome infidelity and have a happy love filled marriage.
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  #32  
Old 02-25-2012, 10:01 AM
Titus2woman Titus2woman is offline


 
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Re: Facebook & Divorces

Quote:
Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord View Post
I just read a book called the Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. It deals with many of the reasons adultery occurs in a marriage, because the love languages spoken in a marriage, may not be understood by the spouse. It is a great read, and the light came on for me while reading, and understanding why so many people have trouble communicating in a marriage, because the way they want love to be shown to them, never happens, and it leaves them lonely and miserable.

In your friend's case, her husband may be a man who shows his love by working hard and maybe he has the language of "Acts of Service" where he thinks, as long as he is working hard and providing for his family, he is showing his love.

The wife, it appears, needs Quality Time and perhaps Words of Affirmation to feel that she is loved, and so both of them are miserably existing together because their efforts at showing love to each other aren't being received, and neither feel loved.

This is a great book, and maybe you could suggest it to your friend, or at least that she get godly counseling as you said, because it appears that a Band-Aid has been put on the sitaution for now, but until the root of the problem is dealt with, she is likely to have to deal with this issue again in the future, despite her best intentions...

I will be praying for your friend T2W, as I do believe marriages can be healed, and be stronger in a situation like this, as you can learn from your mistakes. But it does take a strong faith in God to overcome infidelity and have a happy love filled marriage.

KBTW, I just read the reviews on Amazon and ordered her a copy which I deliver right after I read it
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  #33  
Old 02-25-2012, 10:13 AM
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KeptByTheWord KeptByTheWord is offline
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Re: Facebook & Divorces

Great! I think its a book all married couples could learn from....
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  #34  
Old 02-25-2012, 11:20 AM
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Hoovie Hoovie is offline
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Re: Facebook & Divorces

I have (or at least read) this book.

I believe Gary Chapman's book is a Christian variation of the other similar books on the Choleric, Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Melancholic temperament types.
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