Balance

[The Lemon]

O.K. - I usually try very hard to write at least semi-intelligentely on this forum, as well as try to be as objective and open as I can be with regards to the diversity here. With that said, I wanted to bounce a scenario and some questions around the forum and would be glad to read the responses.

First, let me say that I have been a part of the UPCI for nearly 20yrs, 14 of which have been in pretty much every ministry in the church. Having said that, I have been part and parcel to the church structure and have seen many noble and good things, but conversely, I have also seen alot of "busyness" as well.

SOOOOO - the question is, in your opinion, what is balance in regards to church, involvement in church, as well as various ministries (be that Sunday School, mowing, cleaning...etc.) The point of view that this question is from is that of balancing with regards to family, work responsibility and etc.

I am asking this for a number of reasons, but I suppose the greatest reason is that in my experience I have seen chock full calendars, programs, fund-raisers and etc. and in the day we live it just seems difficult at best to spread the time out efficientely and effectively - but maybe I am missing something??

I know the goal is relationship with Jesus and of course hearing the words "well done". It just seems that with regards to relationship to Him as well as brothers and sisters in Christ, we are very much performanced based. I hear alot about grace and mercy as well as patience, but I also hear alot about the "work of God" and especially with regards to ones salvation (or lack thereof) based on the activity level in the "church".

What is your take on this...I am interested in reading the responses....

[bbyrd009]

We call it "balance," a good word, that sometimes can make it easy to forget
that the words "pendulum," and "ebb and flow" are also involved here...

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by The Lemon

O.K. - I usually try very hard to write at least semi-intelligentely on this forum, as well as try to be as objective and open as I can be with regards to the diversity here. With that said, I wanted to bounce a scenario and some questions around the forum and would be glad to read the responses.

First, let me say that I have been a part of the UPCI for nearly 20yrs, 14 of which have been in pretty much every ministry in the church. Having said that, I have been part and parcel to the church structure and have seen many noble and good things, but conversely, I have also seen alot of "busyness" as well.

SOOOOO - the question is, in your opinion, what is balance in regards to church, involvement in church, as well as various ministries (be that Sunday School, mowing, cleaning...etc.) The point of view that this question is from is that of balancing with regards to family, work responsibility and etc.

I am asking this for a number of reasons, but I suppose the greatest reason is that in my experience I have seen chock full calendars, programs, fund-raisers and etc. and in the day we live it just seems difficult at best to spread the time out efficientely and effectively - but maybe I am missing something??

I know the goal is relationship with Jesus and of course hearing the words "well done". It just seems that with regards to relationship to Him as well as brothers and sisters in Christ, we are very much performanced based. I hear alot about grace and mercy as well as patience, but I also hear alot about the "work of God" and especially with regards to ones salvation (or lack thereof) based on the activity level in the "church".

What is your take on this...I am interested in reading the responses....

Lemon,

Excellent question.

The Kingdom of God isn't an organization, a "licensed minister", a church building, church programs, Sunday school, fundraisers, yadda, yadda, yadda.

The Kingdom of God is a oneness with Jesus, being a living disciple of Jesus. Along the path there are spiritual mothers and fathers who serve as mentors. These are "elders". Please review this video. You might see that the "business" you speak of is systemic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvJR_SIiPl4

[The Lemon]

Just a little more background....after 14yrs under the same Pastor, he left, backslid and left me and one other minister holding the bag so to speak. I had always questioned the hectic church schedule in regards to the calendar and trying to have some sense of normalcy in my home - but obviously, during this particular time, the subject of balance became a greater issue of importance...I know, go figure!

At any rate, we left that assembly, totally burned out and began attending a different UPC church - which honestly we loved since it was much more relaxed and guess what? NO CALENDAR! We were slowly healing from years of burn out and abuse and were so happy to find this refuge. Well, the Pastor of this church retired and someone else took the assembly and now....it is becoming the busy church that we had left 4+ years ago.

Naturally, we are scratching our heads as to how much we are able and willing to do in this assembly. I am not against church, nor am I against an assembly being "organized" per se, but I am very wary of how quickly a few programs and structure can turn into the all consuming time eating monster that we are more then a little familier with.

At any rate, times like these are good times for reflecting on ones own motives and relationships, both in the church and with Jesus. Again, i may be totally missing the "mark" here so that is why I appreciate the feedback. I naturally have my own opinion, but am more then open to the fact that I may be off and wrong in my perception.

Alot of times hurt and burnout can distort ones vision and purpose, so for me, altough I do not like the schedule, the calendar, etc. - I am by no means blasting that out of the water and being critical of the leadership. It may be, however, just the wrong timing for me and my family and we will need to pray about some major decisions up and coming...


BTW...thanks Aquilla!

[aegsm76]

Balance is hard to find, sometimes.
I really believe that most churches and the people in them, are too busy being in church instead of being salt and light to the world.
I think some pastors believe that they have to keep people busy to keep them saved.
I will confess that I have probably been too busy at every church I have attended.
However, the one thing that I did do right was to make sure that my family was busy with me.
And that we did church things together.

[AreYouReady?]

Originally Posted by The Lemon

At any rate, we left that assembly, totally burned out and began attending a different UPC church - which honestly we loved since it was much more relaxed and guess what? NO CALENDAR! We were slowly healing from years of burn out and abuse and were so happy to find this refuge. Well, the Pastor of this church retired and someone else took the assembly and now....it is becoming the busy church that we had left 4+ years ago.

Sometimes we have to question the motives of the church leaders as to why the pace of the church is what it is.

Some leaders and congregation love to live a busy pace and have to be doing something all the time. That's not always a good thing and that's not always a bad thing.

I like what aegsm said: "I really believe that most churches and the people in them, are too busy being in church instead of being salt and light to the world".

Then again, some churches like to sit at Jesus feet and learn what God wants us to know.

Not everybody who leaves a church family is because they have an issue with that church. Sometimes a person just doesn't fit in with the style of that church and the church should not take it as a personal insult if a family leaves for a setting that they feel more comfortable to be in.

[TGBTG]

Originally Posted by AreYouReady?

Sometimes we have to question the motives of the church leaders as to why the pace of the church is what it is.

Some leaders and congregation love to live a busy pace and have to be doing something all the time. That's not always a good thing and that's not always a bad thing.

I like what aegsm said: "I really believe that most churches and the people in them, are too busy being in church instead of being salt and light to the world".

Then again, some churches like to sit at Jesus feet and learn what God wants us to know.

Not everybody who leaves a church family is because they have an issue with that church. Sometimes a person just doesn't fit in with the style of that church and the church should not take it as a personal insult if a family leaves for a setting that they feel more comfortable to be in.

[bbyrd009]

"Right Pastor."

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by The Lemon

O.K. - I usually try very hard to write at least semi-intelligentely on this forum, as well as try to be as objective and open as I can be with regards to the diversity here. With that said, I wanted to bounce a scenario and some questions around the forum and would be glad to read the responses.

First, let me say that I have been a part of the UPCI for nearly 20yrs, 14 of which have been in pretty much every ministry in the church. Having said that, I have been part and parcel to the church structure and have seen many noble and good things, but conversely, I have also seen alot of "busyness" as well.

SOOOOO - the question is, in your opinion, what is balance in regards to church, involvement in church, as well as various ministries (be that Sunday School, mowing, cleaning...etc.) The point of view that this question is from is that of balancing with regards to family, work responsibility and etc. We have to be willing to brutally edit our schedules and commitments when necessary.
I am asking this for a number of reasons, but I suppose the greatest reason is that in my experience I have seen chock full calendars, programs, fund-raisers and etc. and in the day we live it just seems difficult at best to spread the time out efficientely and effectively - but maybe I am missing something??

I know the goal is relationship with Jesus and of course hearing the words "well done". It just seems that with regards to relationship to Him as well as brothers and sisters in Christ, we are very much performanced based. I hear alot about grace and mercy as well as patience, but I also hear alot about the "work of God" and especially with regards to ones salvation (or lack thereof) based on the activity level in the "church".

What is your take on this...I am interested in reading the responses....

Balance varies by the person. Some people are able to take on more because of their personalities, their organizational skills, their time management skills and their energy levels. A good way to evaluate it is to jot down your priorities in order. Usually for me they go something like this:

God (personal relationship)
Personal (my own health and wellbeing)
Family (basic responsibilities + quality time)
Church (basic responsibilities + ministry responsibilities)
Extended Family (staying in contact + occasional visits)
Friends (quality time)
Community (involvement & outreach)
Everything else

It really boils down to how much YOU can handle without neglecting a higher priority. I don't neglect my family in favor of church and I don't neglect church in favor of community involvement. I don't neglect God in favor of family and so on and so forth. Of course, in reality, I DO neglect my responsibilities sometimes, because we do tend to have to struggle for balance. In order to be sane and balanced, we have to re-evaluate every so often and make sure we haven't overloaded ourselves and moved something important out of the way for something less important.

I feel that my personal relationship with God involves attending the church for corporate worship and the Word, and giving my tithes and offering. IMO, that is the extent of the crossover between my personal relationship with God and my obligations to the church. I also believe that my personal relationship with God and being a part of His kingdom requires me to be *reaching out* evangelistically as a Christian. However, the latter doesn't have to be accomplished through a church program. That is accomplished by taking Christmas gifts to neighbors and striking up conversations with strangers at the grocery store. For ME, church obligations or ministries that exceed what I have outlined as my personal obligations to God fall into a category that is less important than God, Personal and Family priorities. I don't accept church responsibilities that I can't fulfill without keeping those first responsibilities going effectively.

My personal rule of thumb is that my commitments are good for one year. At the end of every year, I look at my schedule again and decide whether or not I can recommit to music department, teaching, various outreaches, music camp, etc. These are decisions that I make with my husband's input, and then I inform other people of those decisions. The reason for the 1-year commitment is that it inconveniences other people and departments to lose key people or leaders in the middle of the [fiscal] year. It's a way to be considerate. It's also a way to make sure you are really certain you want to commit to a department for a full year before you say yes.


Bottom Line: It's okay to say no. And no one's salvation is dependent on their involvement in church programs, fundraisers, etc. Ever.

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by The Lemon

O.K. - I usually try very hard to write at least semi-intelligentely on this forum, as well as try to be as objective and open as I can be with regards to the diversity here. With that said, I wanted to bounce a scenario and some questions around the forum and would be glad to read the responses.

First, let me say that I have been a part of the UPCI for nearly 20yrs, 14 of which have been in pretty much every ministry in the church. Having said that, I have been part and parcel to the church structure and have seen many noble and good things, but conversely, I have also seen alot of "busyness" as well.

SOOOOO - the question is, in your opinion, what is balance in regards to church, involvement in church, as well as various ministries (be that Sunday School, mowing, cleaning...etc.) The point of view that this question is from is that of balancing with regards to family, work responsibility and etc.

I am asking this for a number of reasons, but I suppose the greatest reason is that in my experience I have seen chock full calendars, programs, fund-raisers and etc. and in the day we live it just seems difficult at best to spread the time out efficientely and effectively - but maybe I am missing something??

I know the goal is relationship with Jesus and of course hearing the words "well done". It just seems that with regards to relationship to Him as well as brothers and sisters in Christ, we are very much performanced based. I hear alot about grace and mercy as well as patience, but I also hear alot about the "work of God" and especially with regards to ones salvation (or lack thereof) based on the activity level in the "church".

What is your take on this...I am interested in reading the responses....

Absolutely excellent question! Thanks for bringing this topic up, unfortunately, this is a tough one to discuss for the simple reason that whenever one begins to talk about "dialing back" church activities, they feel guilty, and the assumption is that one is "backsliding".

I remember as a kid going to church twice on Sunday, Tuesday night for Youth Service, Thursday night for Bible Study, Saturday for door knocking, and during the winter, at least one, quite often two nights a week making peanut brittle. Add church remodeling and maintenance to that, and it was almost a 7 day per week venture. That's not counting revival, which was every night except for Monday.

But, back then, we didn't have TV, couldn't play sports in school, couldn't go to movies, couldn't do anything remotely associated with wordly entertainment, so church was not only our religious center, it was our social center.

Nowadays, in most places, I don't see that working. Many bemoan the loss of "commitment", but life in general is so much busier now than it was back then, and with the outside interests that are broadly accepted now, the whole "church as the center of my world" has changed dramatically, in my opinion.

I'd say that church activities, in and of themselves, that take you away from your family, your job, your rest, anything like that, can be excessive. And for each person, that threshold is different.