Advice: The Single Christian

[Esther]

Originally Posted by Ferd

I always said, I needed to find someone crazy enough to live with me... and I wasnt so sure I wanted to live with someone that crazy!

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by Ferd

I always said, I needed to find someone crazy enough to live with me... and I wasnt so sure I wanted to live with someone that crazy!

Ya, and I would never join a club that would have ME as a member.

[Farfel]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

Ya, and I would never join a club that would have ME as a member.

It's always a good time to quote Groucho Marx.

[DaveC519]

Hello Aquila,

Originally Posted by Aquila

I'm curious... how do single Christians contend with the day to day struggles of being single. The areas I can identify are:

loneliness
fighting temptation
masturbation
pornography

How do single Christians overcome loneliness?

How does a single Christian find a healthy single sexuality in Christ? Is there such a thing?

What are some of your thoughts?

I will answer your questions with a question: do you believe God has called you to the gift of celibacy, either permanently, or for this season of your life? After reading through the thread, and based on your comments about your female friend, perhaps he has. If so, ask God to lead you in that, and to satisfy your desire for companionship in ways other than being alone with the opposite gender.

As far as temptation, I believe you are stronger in Christ than what Satan would have you believe. As Christians, we all burn with desires of the flesh after some sort or the other. For some, it's sexual desire. For others: overeating, alcohol, etc. It's how we act on those emotions which can either be pleasing to God or not. Many believe they will have victory over the flesh when they no longer experience those strong burning emotions, but I don't believe that's the case. I believe we win the battle based on our actions, not by ceasing to experience the emotions associated with the actions.

For instance, my personal battle is with overeating. I used to be 40 lbs. heavier and was on the fast track to a heart attack. With God's help and at his prompting, I lost the weight, got in shape, and now I'm in the best health I've ever been. Did the desire to overeat go away? Somewhat, but not completely. I must choose every day to eat based on my nutritional requirements, and not because I'm bored, feeling down, or other reasons. It literally comes down to making a willful decision every day. Sometimes the temptation seems overwhelming, but I must tell myself "I will NOT do THIS at this moment". And the temptation subsides. However many times I feel the desire throughout the day, I must answer "I will NOT do THIS at this moment".

Does this mean I'm still in bondage to the flesh because I continue to experience the desire to overeat? I don't believe so, because God freed me from the bondage. It may take awhile for my flesh to be fully persuaded of what I know is truth in my spirit. In the meantime, my "thorn in the flesh" is to experience the burning of wanting to overeat. I live victorious, not because the desire isn't there, but because I willfully choose not to act on the desire. And when my own will is not strong enough, I ask God to will through me (Php 2:13).

Hopefully, you (or someone else) may find all this helpful.

[KeptByTheWord]

Originally Posted by DaveC519

Hello Aquila,


I will answer your questions with a question: do you believe God has called you to the gift of celibacy, either permanently, or for this season of your life? After reading through the thread, and based on your comments about your female friend, perhaps he has. If so, ask God to lead you in that, and to satisfy your desire for companionship in ways other than being alone with the opposite gender.

As far as temptation, I believe you are stronger in Christ than what Satan would have you believe. As Christians, we all burn with desires of the flesh after some sort or the other. For some, it's sexual desire. For others: overeating, alcohol, etc. It's how we act on those emotions which can either be pleasing to God or not. Many believe they will have victory over the flesh when they no longer experience those strong burning emotions, but I don't believe that's the case. I believe we win the battle based on our actions, not by ceasing to experience the emotions associated with the actions.

For instance, my personal battle is with overeating. I used to be 40 lbs. heavier and was on the fast track to a heart attack. With God's help and at his prompting, I lost the weight, got in shape, and now I'm in the best health I've ever been. Did the desire to overeat go away? Somewhat, but not completely. I must choose every day to eat based on my nutritional requirements, and not because I'm bored, feeling down, or other reasons. It literally comes down to making a willful decision every day. Sometimes the temptation seems overwhelming, but I must tell myself "I will NOT do THIS at this moment". And the temptation subsides. However many times I feel the desire throughout the day, I must answer "I will NOT do THIS at this moment".

Does this mean I'm still in bondage to the flesh because I continue to experience the desire to overeat? I don't believe so, because God freed me from the bondage. It may take awhile for my flesh to be fully persuaded of what I know is truth in my spirit. In the meantime, my "thorn in the flesh" is to experience the burning of wanting to overeat. I live victorious, not because the desire isn't there, but because I willfully choose not to act on the desire. And when my own will is not strong enough, I ask God to will through me (Php 2:13).

Hopefully, you (or someone else) may find all this helpful.

This is very good advice. It is so true that we are all fighting a battle of some kind, and making the flesh surrender to the will of God.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by DaveC519

Hello Aquila,


I will answer your questions with a question: do you believe God has called you to the gift of celibacy, either permanently, or for this season of your life? After reading through the thread, and based on your comments about your female friend, perhaps he has. If so, ask God to lead you in that, and to satisfy your desire for companionship in ways other than being alone with the opposite gender.

As far as temptation, I believe you are stronger in Christ than what Satan would have you believe. As Christians, we all burn with desires of the flesh after some sort or the other. For some, it's sexual desire. For others: overeating, alcohol, etc. It's how we act on those emotions which can either be pleasing to God or not. Many believe they will have victory over the flesh when they no longer experience those strong burning emotions, but I don't believe that's the case. I believe we win the battle based on our actions, not by ceasing to experience the emotions associated with the actions.

For instance, my personal battle is with overeating. I used to be 40 lbs. heavier and was on the fast track to a heart attack. With God's help and at his prompting, I lost the weight, got in shape, and now I'm in the best health I've ever been. Did the desire to overeat go away? Somewhat, but not completely. I must choose every day to eat based on my nutritional requirements, and not because I'm bored, feeling down, or other reasons. It literally comes down to making a willful decision every day. Sometimes the temptation seems overwhelming, but I must tell myself "I will NOT do THIS at this moment". And the temptation subsides. However many times I feel the desire throughout the day, I must answer "I will NOT do THIS at this moment".

Does this mean I'm still in bondage to the flesh because I continue to experience the desire to overeat? I don't believe so, because God freed me from the bondage. It may take awhile for my flesh to be fully persuaded of what I know is truth in my spirit. In the meantime, my "thorn in the flesh" is to experience the burning of wanting to overeat. I live victorious, not because the desire isn't there, but because I willfully choose not to act on the desire. And when my own will is not strong enough, I ask God to will through me (Php 2:13).

Hopefully, you (or someone else) may find all this helpful.

[rgcraig]

Saw this quote today and thought of you Aquila -

"Dating someone who says “This is me take it or leave it?!" Be smart, leave It. If they won't bend for u, they'll expect u to break for them! @RealTalk"

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Saw this quote today and thought you Aquila -

"Dating someone who says “This is me take it or leave it?!" Be smart, leave It. If they won't bend for u, they'll expect u to break for them! @RealTalk"

That's an awesome quote. Thanks! lol

[houston]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Saw this quote today and thought you Aquila -

"Dating someone who says “This is me take it or leave it?!" Be smart, leave It. If they won't bend for u, they'll expect u to break for them! @RealTalk"

I disagree. You shouldn't expect the person to change for you.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by houston

I disagree. You shouldn't expect the person to change for you.

I think there is a balance. Some things should change about a person. Some things shouldn't. It's when a person makes it clear that they are changing NOTHING that one should think twice.