Alienated Church: Father's and Mother's day

[Sweet Pea]

Prax - I agree with you. !!!!!

I have children, my dad is still living, but I really dread Mother's Day and Father's Day services. I have too many friends who are hurting over their children and/or the loss of their parents.

If you have children, but they aren't living for God (or don't line up like the pastor or pastor's wife is preaching that day) - you feel a sense of guilt and a failure. After our children were grown and gone from home, we often went out of town on those particular weekends.

I agree - the Bible DOES say alot about mothers and fathers and their importance in rearing children. But a once-a-year service isn't going to teach parents how to be Godly parents and raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. And while we're on the subject .... if a backslidden child attends with the parent on one of the "special" days - THAT is not the time to preach them into hell. I've seen grown men and women walk out of service due to the message that was being preached on a day they came to pay special honor to their mom. (JMHO)

A special acknowledgment to ALL the ladies or ALL men on the specific day is more kind and thoughtful! It should be "Ladies Day" and "Mens Day" at church!!!

P.S. - and Renee, I think you were a little harsh and unkind to Prax. Again.... JMHO

[navygoat1998]

I have a ............ Dad and I was a ............ Dad. I hate Fathers day and we don't do church on Mothers day or Fathers day.

Prax I feel you my friend.

[OnTheFritz]

I'm not as adamant about it as some here, but I could do without the special services as well.

[Renee29]

Ok, apologizing to OP.

[ImThankful]

I have never cared for Mothers day or Fathers day services at my church. Like some have said its all about the so called important Mothers or Fathers of the church and quite frankly it isn't those that would need something anyways.

I believe its ok to let those people know they are important but so are all the people of the church whether they have children or not. There is one important issue though, my Pastor didn't ask my opinion LOL..I think if churches took polls, we would all rather hear a good message preached.

[CC1]

Originally Posted by Praxeas

My issue was with what we do on church, not with those that are fathers and mothers. Don't know how you got the notion I am bitter towards them

I didn't think you were bitter towards moms and dads. Just bitter towards churches who choose to emphasize motherhood on Mother's day and Fatherhood on Father's day. Two things I think need to be emphasized in our current culture.

I think no one should have a problem with a church dedicating one service a year to motherhood or fatherhood and how it relates to Christianity.

[Sweet Pea]

Originally Posted by CC1

I didn't think you were bitter towards moms and dads. Just bitter towards churches who choose to emphasize motherhood on Mother's day and Fatherhood on Father's day. Two things I think need to be emphasized in our current culture.

I think no one should have a problem with a church dedicating one service a year to motherhood or fatherhood and how it relates to Christianity.

Dedicating a service to motherhood or fatherhood is one thing .......

HOWEVER .....

making people uncomfortable because they aren't parents (maybe through their choice - maybe due to circumstances beyond their control) ....

making people uncomfortable because they have lost their parents to death (possibly they were saved - possibly not) OR due to circumstances beyond their control, the relationship with their parents is severely estranged ....

making people uncomfortable because their children are backslidden and now the parents are made to feel guilty or failures because they feel condemnation at what is being preached during this one service - when in fact, their child made their own decision and choice and it had nothing to do with how the child was raised ....

making people uncomfortable because they came to church to honor their parent, but a message of the love of God and restoration by Jesus' sacrifice on the cross isn't preached, but rather a message of condemnation for walking away from "truth" - making both the parent and the "child" squirm (not in conviction) ....

I do have a problem with all of the above. And I've seen it all happen on Mothers Day and Fathers Day. OR Mothers Day is this HUGE ordeal and Fathers Day is barely mentioned. I'm sure that it is not intentional to make these people feel uncomfortable - but it happens. There are MANY hurting people on these two days and I don't think the church should flaunt it in their face.

[RandyWayne]

For my entire adult life I've skipped out of Mothers Day services since I tend to throw up a little after hearing all the endless testimonies and poems that people would read in church.

Father's Day is MUCH easier to sit through even though I am not one (ok, I do have a son who is almost 18 but it is sort of a non-existent relationship), since all GUYS have to do for any sort of validation is to meet at the gun section of the local Bass Pro shop.

[Titus2woman]

Wow... what an appropriate thread for today and thanks for bringing it up Prax. While we were in the UPC my grown kids were Baptist and my Mother was Catholic.... so no one but us and our youngest child was IN CHURCH. I hated mothers day services... Our thing was always the youth selling balloons for a dollar each to 'honor' the mother... It was nothing but another fund raiser and the families that had enough members in church took turns having the mother's in their families elected "MOTHER OF THE YEAR" buy pooling their money and focusing it on one family member. So in essence the Mother of the Year was bought and paid for. Then we had a two hour celebration where lessor balloon bouquets were passed out so everyone could know if you were a $5 mother or a $10 mother or a $50 mother... MOTY was usually somewhere between $500 and $1,000 although I've seen it sold as high as $1,200.

I found this degrading to childless women, women whose children were not part of the the UPC for whatever reason, women from lower income families, single mothers without a lot of support and felt that it alienated a lot of people for the sole purpose of making money for the church and 'honoring' the high tithe payers.

Fathers day was a little tamer with every father's name being thrown in a hat and then drawn for the gift of ties... The last guys called of course getting the ugly ones.... kinda funny at least.

Christmas... well it was at least a month long thing at our church... secret sister gifts, christmas ladies banquet, christmas banquet, christmas play, and even Satan Claus.... but I'll leave that post for December.

Oh... and for anyone who might be compelled to say it... We at AFF have already determined from previous threads that I am bitter... so don't bother mentioning the obvious...

[Precis]

For once i agree with praxeas m. T. D. About this topic.
But i still do not see why though.
As much pastor worship there is that no person is saying anything about.
It is their day every day and they are to be given to even if the electric bill is not paid.
Just believe god wil send you the money.
Well let the pastor work as paul stated he should and let him tell god to send him the money to pay for his golf outing.
Tithing aswell as easter christmas halloween and other holidays are just as wrong as having a priest over the rest of the priest.
Oh well sorry prax. But just can't see what scripture does not teach.
Elders is what is to be over each congregation and they are chosen by the congregation and ordained by true evangelist that go about setting things in order and ordaining elders over each congregation.
Every person works ya know keeps a job or is retired.
But the evangelist which could not keep a job if they had one traveling as they are required to do.
Well know you and others don't agree but the thruth any way.
We are all priest or at least that is the words of peter.