Serena Williams was Right?

[n david]

Originally Posted by J4Truth

The simple reality is its good advice to give to a non-victim, but the moment you tell a victim of all the mistakes they made that led to them being a victim in the first place you're going to come off as blaming them for even being a victim. Can't really escape that reality, especially when most people that is a victim to some kind of traumatic experience would probably rack their brains on all the "wouldas" "shouldas" couldas" that made them a victim in the first place. Essentially, on some level, they already blame themselves at least in part.

Hit the nail on the head with this. It would have been fine if Serena was talking anonymously about girls in general; I agree it's great advice. However, because she was talking about a victim, it was an insensitive and stupid statement to make.

Her non-apology apology was just as insensitive and offensive as the original statement, IMO. In the link given, she refers to what she "supposedly" said; making the insinuation that the Rolling Stone lied and made it up. Then she said the rapists "did something stupid." She didn't say it was wrong, at least not per the article in the link. She didn't say it was reprehensible. She didn't say anything other than it was "something stupid."

Tagging (spray paint vandalism) is doing "something stupid." "Twerking" is doing "something stupid." Yelling at tennis Judges and whining about penalties is doing "something stupid." Serena knows a lot about that. However, plying a teenage girl with alcohol, then raping and taking nude photos of her is NOT "something stupid."

Serena should shut her mouth about others and focus on her own issues. She's a home-wrecker. She's dating a man who is a husband and father and is now getting a divorce from his wife.

[Godzchild]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I would say its just good advice for a young girl.

[Godzchild]

Originally Posted by Praxeas

Serena said "your parents should teach you: Don't take drinks from other people." SOUNDS LIKE GOOD ADVICE TO ME!

absolutely correct! it is what it is ~ and at the victims age she knew better!

[Evenuntodeath]

Originally Posted by Praxeas

If you read what she said, she did not absolve the rapists nor did she blame the girl. She gave practical advice in light of the fact that there are people out there (male and female) who will take advantage of a girl who is drunk at a party

I can read, thank you. Simply because she gave a "disclaimer", does not mean her words did not in some way place blame on the victim or make it seem like the victim has responsibility. You said she gave practical advice, are you serious??? Exactly how "practical" is her advice after a victim has been raped?? The rape has occurred, there is nothing that can do to change that. Just so you know, Serena Williams is not the first to give this so called "practical advice". Albeit, there are women who follow Serenas "practical advice" and STILL get raped. Truth is, practical advice on how not to get raped is not practical advice. Rapists will always find a way to seek out victims, alcohol or no alcohol.

She was incapacitated by alcohol according to the News reports.

Those were allegations, not proven facts. Witnesses say she did not have enough drinks in her system to pass out drunk. The victim also believes she was drugged.

I'm not suggesting it's ok to go to a party but it's smart that if you do, make sure you go with people you know you can trust and will have your back.

The victim was with people she thought were friends. Is she to blame because she made a mistake in judging a person's character or intentions?

It's a dangerous world out there and these young people need good practical advice to avoid being victims as well as perpetrators.

See above. There IS NO practical advice to avoid being raped.

You said she could have been drugged...

Serena said "your parents should teach you: Don't take drinks from other people." SOUNDS LIKE GOOD ADVICE TO ME

Seriously?!? So girls going to a bar shouldn't take drinks from the bartender to avoid getting raped??? Girls should bring her own bottle of alcohol to avoid being raped???

Serena didn't speak about how she was dressed.

Of course not. But how a girls dresses, how much she drinks are all the same sorry excuses people use to justify a girl getting raped.

The fact that women were raped years ago does not change the fact, it supports it...big bad world out there. We all need to be smart because humans are bad and will take advantage of you

Again, see above. Women get raped regardless of where they are, who they're with, how much they're drinking, or how they're dressed. Its time to stop examining women's behavior to find ways women can prevent their rape and start making rapists take FULL responsibility for their actions.

[MissBrattified]

There are two sides to the coin, but in no way do foolish choices make the girl ultimately responsible for her own rape.

You could say the same sort of thing about a murder victim. "Why were they walking down that alley at night? Didn't their mother ever teach them not to walk in dark alleys by themselves?"

Such questions could have validity, but they're in poor taste and moot after something bad has already happened. They're in poor taste because they at least seem to remove some culpability from the perpetrators, and there's no excuse for alleviating any of that guilt.

Foolish choices can raise our risk of harm, but they still don't make victims directly responsible for their own harm. The perpetrator is always fully responsible.

[odooley6985]

Originally Posted by Praxeas

Tennis player Serena Williams has received a lot of flack and has apologized for statements she made to Rollingstone Mag about a high profile rape case..

My question is, was she right in her first statements?

First off she did say she was not blaming the girl BUT...she added

"I'm not blaming the girl, but if you're a 16-year-old and you're drunk like that, your parents should teach you: Don't take drinks from other people."

and ".. she shouldn't have put herself in that position."

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/sports/2013/0...#ixzz2Wz3Kpn5C


Is this blaming the rape victim? Or is this good advice to all girls?

In this case she was right. Some rape cases just happen no matter what though.

[J4Truth]

Originally Posted by Evenuntodeath

I can read, thank you. Simply because she gave a "disclaimer", does not mean her words did not in some way place blame on the victim or make it seem like the victim has responsibility. You said she gave practical advice, are you serious??? Exactly how "practical" is her advice after a victim has been raped?? The rape has occurred, there is nothing that can do to change that. Just so you know, Serena Williams is not the first to give this so called "practical advice". Albeit, there are women who follow Serenas "practical advice" and STILL get raped. Truth is, practical advice on how not to get raped is not practical advice. Rapists will always find a way to seek out victims, alcohol or no alcohol.



Those were allegations, not proven facts. Witnesses say she did not have enough drinks in her system to pass out drunk. The victim also believes she was drugged.



The victim was with people she thought were friends. Is she to blame because she made a mistake in judging a person's character or intentions?



See above. There IS NO practical advice to avoid being raped.



Seriously?!? So girls going to a bar shouldn't take drinks from the bartender to avoid getting raped??? Girls should bring her own bottle of alcohol to avoid being raped???



Of course not. But how a girls dresses, how much she drinks are all the same sorry excuses people use to justify a girl getting raped.



Again, see above. Women get raped regardless of where they are, who they're with, how much they're drinking, or how they're dressed. Its time to stop examining women's behavior to find ways women can prevent their rape and start making rapists take FULL responsibility for their actions.

I understand where you're coming from but there is such a thing as practical advice to avoid being a victim. If there wasn't then there would be no safety precautions ever advised. We wouldn't advise children to not take candy from strangers, we wouldn't advise children and females of a sort of buddy system and many such like instructions. Yes there will always be criminals but you can't make a statement as there's no practical advice.

I understand telling a victim after the fact may come off as offensive and may be seen as blaming the victim for being a victim. But many rape victims later overcome and do talks to women groups to tell them what to watch out for and tell them what to do to avoid or prevent as much as possible what they went through also how to overcome if such an situation happen to them. So there's such a thing as practical advise.

In the end, there’s always going to be criminals and as longs as a crime can be proven in a court of law they’ll be convicted. But justice after the fact don’t erase the trauma from happening, preventing it does.

[n david]

Originally Posted by J4Truth

I understand telling a victim after the fact may come off as offensive and may be seen as blaming the victim for being a victim. But many rape victims later overcome and do talks to women groups to tell them what to watch out for and tell them what to do to avoid or prevent as much as possible what they went through also how to overcome if such an situation happen to them. So there's such a thing as practical advise.

This is not at all what happened in this case. In this case, Serena stupidly opened her mouth about a subject and circumstance of which she has no information other than maybe reading or watching about it on the news. She only said the guys who committed the despicable crime "did a stupid thing" (per the article), and then blasted the girl basically for causing it to happen.

And again, this is a woman who should mind her own "affairs," literally. A woman who's a home-wrecker, dating a married man and father and causing the family to go through a divorce.

Instead of offering "practical advise" to a VICTIM, she should be taking some advise herself and not split a family over her lust.

[J4Truth]

Originally Posted by n david

This is not at all what happened in this case. In this case, Serena stupidly opened her mouth about a subject and circumstance of which she has no information other than maybe reading or watching about it on the news. She only said the guys who committed the despicable crime "did a stupid thing" (per the article), and then blasted the girl basically for causing it to happen.

And again, this is a woman who should mind her own "affairs," literally. A woman who's a home-wrecker, dating a married man and father and causing the family to go through a divorce.

Instead of offering "practical advise" to a VICTIM, she should be taking some advise herself and not split a family over her lust.

Honestly I only scanned the article and just took some tidbits. Even though some people may not be in the place to give advice, don't mean the advice isn't practical or at least good.

Like I stated earlier, to a non-victim its most likely good advice, but to a victim it comes off offensive and appears to be blaming the victim.

[Sasha]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

There are two sides to the coin, but in no way do foolish choices make the girl ultimately responsible for her own rape.

You could say the same sort of thing about a murder victim. "Why were they walking down that alley at night? Didn't their mother ever teach them not to walk in dark alleys by themselves?"

Such questions could have validity, but they're in poor taste and moot after something bad has already happened. They're in poor taste because they at least seem to remove some culpability from the perpetrators, and there's no excuse for alleviating any of that guilt.

Foolish choices can raise our risk of harm, but they still don't make victims directly responsible for their own harm. The perpetrator is always fully responsible.

I disagree in part. I believe there is something called 'inviting trouble'. We teach our children to stay away from trouble. Why? Because something bad might happen to us that, if we'd done the right thing, it might not have happened.

A girl getting drunk and then getting raped MAY be partially responsible because she was partaking in a situation in which she was unable to control herself. It's no different than someone drinking then driving and killing someone. We don't ever say that because they were drinking and not in control of themselves that they aren't as responsible, do we?

No, I don't believe she is completely responsible or even mostly responsible, but as some point, we all have to take responsibility for our own actions, and if someone is partaking in an activity that leaves them less than completely 'with it', I believe there is a responsibility ascribed to that person for anything that may happen to them.

If we have money, we don't carry it in our hands for people to see, right? That's inviting trouble. No, it doesn't mean you 'deserve' to be mugged or robbed, but perhaps if you had carried the money in your purse or pocket instead, nobody would have mugged or robbed you.

I wish we all lived in the utopian society where everyone everywhere does the right thing at all times, but this is the world we live in, and to protect ourselves, we have to take certain responsibilities.

Years ago, my son had his bike stolen. I blamed him. I did that because for several weeks I told him that if he didn't lock it up, someone was going to steal it. Well, that day finally came and it was gone. Yes, I believe the person who stole it was wrong because it didn't belong to them, but if my son had put his bike up in our locked garage, I'm certain it wouldn't have been stolen.

Anyway, I'm sure I made my point. lol Clear as mud?