Spiritual Abuse and PTSD:

Aquila · #1 02-12-2014, 01:54 PM

I've tried to visit various churches and found it very difficult. I find that my emotions begin to run amok in the couple days prior to the service I've committed to attending. When I've gone my heart races, I feel hot, flushed, and almost like I can't breathe. The week after is pure "hades" in that I have panic attacks, emotional outbursts, and random crying. I've also had nightmares. However, attending a house church or "simple church" gathering doesn't do this to me. After seeing a family counselor and discussing this he said that it sounds like I suffer from a form of PTSD. He suggested a rapid eye movement therapy that calms me. Loud "preacherous" screaming causes me to feel really unsettled and like I can't breathe. I was shaking so bad after a service once (and it wasn't even a bad service) that I questioned as to if I should drive. Please note, I've also been in the military and I've had several tragedies that I experienced when I was a young man. All of these things have left their mark also. But for some reason things really get difficult when I'm attending or visiting a church.

I just feel bad, because after considering going and committing to go, I've gotten to the point where I back out at the last minute because it's so draining just thinking about it and trying to keep my myself together. As a result, my friends feel like I'm pushing them away. Sincerely, I'm not. Many of these churches are great churches, and these friends are wonderful friends.

Sometimes I sink into a deep depression after talking to a good friend who is still "in church". We'll have a wonderful conversation and everything will be going great. We're having fun, lifting up Jesus, sharing thoughts and ideas. Then they invite me to church. It starts to feel like I'm only seen as a brother in the Lord or even a friend if I attend church with them. And what's strange... they all want me to attend different churches and stress why the church they are now attending is better than the one before it. And in all honesty... I know that in five years... they'll be at yet another church! lol It makes me feel like an object as opposed to a brother or a friend.

As I looked up information on this subject I found this video about PTSD and religious abuse. So, what are your thoughts? Can religious abuse and emotional mistreatment in church cause a form of PTSD in those who experienced it?

http://www.elizabethesther.com/2012/...ual-abuse.html

Another link:

http://journeyfree.org/rts/

Another interesting link:

http://unsettledchristianity.com/201...ress-syndrome/

How should the body minister to someone who suffers from PTSD due to spiritual and/or emotional abuse inflicted on them in the church?

shazeep · #2 02-12-2014, 03:08 PM

boy, that's gonna be pretty niche stuff--i'm thinking you already self medicated correctly in this matter; that is to say "run."

ILG · #3 02-12-2014, 03:11 PM

Yes, spiritual abuse and PTSD go hand in hand. Been there, done that. Can't visit a apostolic church.

n david · #4 02-12-2014, 03:39 PM

Abiding Now · #5 02-12-2014, 09:24 PM

J/W could the feelings be conviction or a stirring from God?

justlookin · #6 02-12-2014, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aquila

I've tried to visit various churches and found it very difficult. I find that my emotions begin to run amok in the couple days prior to the service I've committed to attending. When I've gone my heart races, I feel hot, flushed, and almost like I can't breathe. The week after is pure "hades" in that I have panic attacks, emotional outbursts, and random crying. I've also had nightmares. However, attending a house church or "simple church" gathering doesn't do this to me.

I've never heard of this, but the solution is simple, don't attend those meetings which cause you such emotional turmoil. Stick with the house or simple church gatherings. Seems like that's where God wants you.

votivesoul · #7 02-13-2014, 01:13 AM

The better question, Aquila, in your own situation, is whether or not you have been spiritually abused.

You don't have to answer that publicly, but if you have not been so and you know it, then there shouldn't be any way that these symptoms and experiences are a result of any prior church life.

But if you say yes, I've been spiritually abused, then I wouldn't be surprised at all if you are experiencing PSTD, formerly known as shell-shock.

But whatever the diagnosis is, the solution is the same. You must let the Holy Spirit guide you a path of love perfecting healing recovery.

Aquila · #8 02-13-2014, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abiding Now

J/W could the feelings be conviction or a stirring from God?

God telling me to run for my life when invited to church? lol

Aquila · #9 02-13-2014, 06:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by votivesoul

The better question, Aquila, in your own situation, is whether or not you have been spiritually abused.

You don't have to answer that publicly, but if you have not been so and you know it, then there shouldn't be any way that these symptoms and experiences are a result of any prior church life.

But if you say yes, I've been spiritually abused, then I wouldn't be surprised at all if you are experiencing PSTD, formerly known as shell-shock.

But whatever the diagnosis is, the solution is the same. You must let the Holy Spirit guide you a path of love perfecting healing recovery.

All good points votive.

My counselor addressed some very traumatic things that had happened in my childhood. And some traumatic things that had happened in my young adult life. Some things I experienced in the military were hard to handle also. Then, as we talked, we got into my experience with church. It seems that church meant so much to me... when things became emotionally unhealthy and emotionally abusive... it made matters far worse. It's like what happened in church was the, "straw that broke the camels back". My refuge became a den of vipers. In a place wherein I originally felt like I finally had safety, care, and stability... I experienced repeated disappointment, increasing disillusionment, and then emotional abuse when I reached out for help. So now, "church" can be a trigger. Even if it's a great church.

Aquila · #10 02-13-2014, 06:59 AM

I don't think that pastors really understand the gravity of their vocation. Broken people often come to the church to find forgiveness, acceptance, solace, healing, peace, affirmation that God does love them, hope, and a reason to live when all else has been lost. That's why it's sometimes easy to get these people often get "true believer" syndrome in the beginning. If they are indeed looking to rebuild their lives in the church... the pastor should help them realize their dreams in Christ... not hold them back or scare them into warming a pew. If their family is in trouble... the pastor shouldn't point fingers of blame... but work with them to help them turn things around. Ministry should be patient. Rarely has anyone got themselves into something overnight. It may take some time for a child of God to get various things in order.

When the very body you look to as your life preserver seemingly turns on you like wild dogs... it's traumatic. When leaders you love and trust suddenly condemn you, without even knowing all the facts, and leave you spinning and wandering what happened... it's traumatic. When family disowns you over false accusations or a misunderstanding... it can be shattering.