Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love..

[ILG]

http://www.amazon.com/Unhooked-Young...words=unhooked

I just finished reading this book. It is written by a feminist but was a really, really good book. It is shocking what young people are doing today but this woman gives the young people some advice about holding back. It is not the Christian perspective of holding back (no sex before marriage), but she sounds quite conservative in her advice to these young women because of what she learned about their experiences and how these experiences are hurting them.

I read the book because I wanted to understand today's youth. It is amazing the pressure they are under. Anyway, I wanted to share it. It will change some of your thinking.

[KeptByTheWord]

I've not read the book, but I've seen articles about this very thing recently in several different magazines, where people who have lived the lifestyle of "free sex" etc., and the damaging effects it has had on them. The interesting thing, as you mentioned with this author, is that they are talking about these effects in a secular way, not necessarily mentioning a religious belief, but just observation.

Several generations have listened to these lies, and it is great to see that people are finally standing up against the lies and speaking out about the fall out that believing these lies causes.

I'm curious - does the author summarize what she thinks should be done in order to bring about change?

[ILG]

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

I've not read the book, but I've seen articles about this very thing recently in several different magazines, where people who have lived the lifestyle of "free sex" etc., and the damaging effects it has had on them. The interesting thing, as you mentioned with this author, is that they are talking about these effects in a secular way, not necessarily mentioning a religious belief, but just observation.

Several generations have listened to these lies, and it is great to see that people are finally standing up against the lies and speaking out about the fall out that believing these lies causes.

I'm curious - does the author summarize what she thinks should be done in order to bring about change?

She does talk about changes that individual women should do. For example, she says that feminism shouldn't mean that women can do whatever men do (like having free sex as if that's what women want just because men want it) but that women should be very picky and feel empowered to do what is good for us as women which sometimes means saying no. (She thinks pre-marital sex is okay in the context of a relationship.)

She also wants to see more discussion on college campuses rather than the passing out of condoms and "safe sex" being the only concerns and that the discussions need to include the emotional damage being done to women. She talks about how women's chemical make-up causes an attachment that men don't feel when they have sex (their chemistry is different) which causes this emotional damage to women engaging in free sex.

The whole book was interesting reading about the damage to women free sex causes from the secular viewpoint.

[Pressing-On]

Thanks for posting, ILG. I'd also be interested in reading this book.

[ILG]

Let me know if you do and what you think!

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by ILG

Let me know if you do and what you think!

I am going to see if I can pick that up on Friday. If not, I'll order on Amazon. I'll let you know.

[Pressing-On]

ILG, Just purchased the book today. I'll let you know what I think about it. It was less expensive ($5.00 less) at Amazon than my local bookstore.

[Pressing-On]

Okay, just finished the book. My take away from the book, although it wasn't particularly eye opening:

1. Hooking up began in the porn industry.
2. Children from stable Christian families are less likely to hookup.
3. The author appears to be focusing, mainly, on high achievers, which means, our brightest are without morals who want to lead our country.
4. Hooking up is mainly revenge on the male - something that Beyonce is pushing today.
5. My brother attended Duke University for his Masters in Mechanical Engineering - I have questions for him. lol

A few quotes from the book:

1. "The problem is, relationships are never perfect. Additionally, relationships take time and effort, and girls have little of either. So rather than settle for a relationship that is maybe sixty percent terrific, girls hook up beginning in high school because it's the only activity they can possibly manage and comes with no great expectations. By the time they get to college, hooking up may have become their definition of a relationship, and much of the college environment support it.

2. "But I've been thinking. If we deny chivalry to keep from feeling indebted, but then give ourselves to a guy to keep from feeling guilty doesn't that just leave us no option but to feel completely used?"

3. "Recently, the federal government's drive to force abstinence-only curricula into the schools has limited the ability of public-school teachers even more to engage their students in any kind of discussion about sex, including sex and love.

This isn't true, but as the author references Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi, I wouldn't expect her to do anything other than support a liberal agenda.

From the Heritage Foundation:

The Effectiveness of Abstinence Education Programs in Reducing Sexual Activity Among Youth

Effective Abstinence Programs

Critics of abstinence education often assert that while abstinence education that exclusively promotes abstaining from premarital sex is a good idea in theory, there is no evidence that such education can actually reduce sexual activity among young people. Such criticism is erroneous. There are currently 10 scientific evaluations (described below) that demonstrate the effectiveness of abstinence programs in altering sexual behavior.[18] Each of the programs evaluated is a real abstinence (or what is conventionally termed an "abstinence only") program; that is, the program does not provide contraceptives or encourage their use.

The abstinence programs and their evaluations are as follows: (click link for reviews - there are 10)

http://www.heritage.org/research/rep...ation-programs

4. "We older feminists need to elaborate on our earlier message about equality. We need to tell them that it isn't a question of the right to act like men. It is the opportunity to choose whether to do that, based on what they - and not some guy or even their best friend - know is right for them.

They need to hear that being equal doesn't have to mean being the same. Being equal means being able, as men are able, to choose to live and love and even lead the country in a way that is consistent with their values. That is liberation."

My observation - The feminist "values" are still in question, but the quote is a good try on her part. It sounds reasonable, but it doesn't play out that way in real life. You can't make yourself equal to a man no matter how hard you try. We are wired differently. And her book shows that women come away hurting more from that experience than a man.

5. The author devotes two pages to referencing statistics on STD's. "Several girls interviewed in this book were being treated for some kind of sexually related infection and most of them knew at least on infected girl."

6. The last sentence of the book - "Unhooked is not really about having less sex. It's about having more love - as annoying, foolish, and impractical as love can be."

She, of course, had to appeal to her base, the liberal feminists, so that she wouldn't lose her place on the shelf in the world of journalism.

So, the book is basically instructing teens in secular society - hookup, but bring your numbers down from 18 or 20.

[KeptByTheWord]

So, the book didn't offer hope or advice to the girls, just observations?

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

So, the book didn't offer hope or advice to the girls, just observations?

The author is basically telling the girls to own their own body. That is the advice she offers them.

I read it because I paid for it, but I kept looking at how many pages I had to go so I would be finished. It wasn't progressing into anything of value for me.

Kind of reminded me of picking up Cindy McCain's book - Dirty, Sexy Politics. I only purchased the book because it was on sale at Barnes and Noble for $2. I finished the book, walked by the trash bin and threw it away. She is a piece of work and the book shows it. That's all I was wondering - Who is Cindy McCain? LOL!

As ILG stated in her first post, the book isn't coming from a Biblical point of view, so I would haven't expected any other advice to be given.

I ordered the book thinking I would glean something of value, but I didn't. IOW, it's not a book I need on my book shelf for any type of future reference, hence, it's not beneficial for "my" library. Others may disagree. The books I add to my shelves are books that I think - I will need that information at some point. This book is not one of them.

ILG can post the things that she agreed with or liked about the book. I am thinking we may have come away with a different impression. Just a hunch. LOL!