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Old 06-25-2008, 10:08 AM
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Jack Shephard Jack Shephard is offline
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Gays, family ties and opening up....

****I do not want this thread to become a debate if at all possible.****

Hello all. The family in question is acutally on my wifes side. Her cousin is a gay man. He has been married before and even has a child. His boyfriend and him were both raised in the church. They are soul mates many say. They started as friends and over the years grew closer until they one day consumated the relationship. Through the time they have been together both of them will tell you that their relationship has had VERY few sexual encounters with each other. It is more of a soul mate relationship. As of roughly a year ago my wifes cousin JA, no one on here knows them so no PM's guessing, lost his father. JA and his bf have been having the feeling that they do not want to miss heaven. They know based on their heritage that their lifestyle is wrong, but they keep asking themselves why they have these feelings and so on. Of course we tell them there is pleasure in sin and all that which they acknowledge they are wrong, but are having a rough time letting each other go and moving on.

I know people that have fought the sin of homosexuality in their past. I am not ashamed to say the devil tried to get me to fall into it at avery young age, but I have victory and ABSOLUTELY NO temptations ever! I know others that have victory over it too. But I guess that we need everyones prayers. Most in my family, my side and my wifes side, see me as the spiritual leader or guru of sorts. They all come to me with questions and concerns about this though most of them have no clue that God delievered me. The old saying seems to be true the more hell you have gone through in life the more of heaven is poured out on you. Just to clear the air I NEVER fell into this sin, but the devil tried to get me to fall. I have talked with alot of men about this and lots have gone through the same things.

Also I need some advise from you out there. I have RARELY told anyone about my past temptations. Again having NEVER done anything like that it is difficult for me to totally relate to these guys. I feel that AFF is kinda like a family. As I say most in my family I have never told about this stuff cause the embarassment it could bring. I hope that no one on here treats me different because I am not nor have I ever been gay. Nor will I ever be because God delivered me! Praise be to God!

I have talked to my wifes aunt about them starting to attend church again. The bf does go from time to time. I personally think it will be better for them that they split and NEVER see each other again. What kind of advise do any of you all have for me? I need all the help I can get. The family I speak of lives in IL so they are nowhere close to us here, but it seems that apparently I am the one to help. What say ye?
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  #2  
Old 06-25-2008, 10:22 AM
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Re: Gays, family ties and opening up....

I appreciate your honesty.
Sin is Sin whether it is stealing, lying, or homosexuality.
There is a spirit of homosexuality that is involved.

As for pleasure, well, a man in an extramarital affair will have pleasure-but it is still sin.

One bright light is that they want to make things right.
God is working.

One thing that is needed is prayer & lots of it.

Do they have an apostolic church to go to?

Is there someone who they can trust nearby to counsel them?

We had a native who was coming to my old church this last year who was in homosexuality, but he was hungry.

We opened up our arms to welcome him in & just after we left to start this new work in North Vancouver he got the Holy Ghost!

The future though is up to him.

Will be praying for you & your family.
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Old 06-25-2008, 10:25 AM
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Re: Gays, family ties and opening up....

We have all had to give up a relationship to better serve God and make it to heaven.

I do not see this as any different.

It's not the feelings that is the problem as the behavior, and regardless of the infrequency if there is a temptation to be sexual with each other when they are together, in order to be saved they must separate in my opinion.
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Old 06-25-2008, 10:49 AM
Rico Rico is offline
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Re: Gays, family ties and opening up....

You may try dealing with it from the following angle: Jesus talked about taking up our cross and following Him. For someone caught in the trap of homosexual desire, not acting on those desires may very well be the cross they have to bear while walking with Jesus on this road to life eternal.
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Old 06-25-2008, 10:51 AM
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Re: Gays, family ties and opening up....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeanie View Post
We have all had to give up a relationship to better serve God and make it to heaven.

I do not see this as any different.


It's not the feelings that is the problem as the behavior, and regardless of the infrequency if there is a temptation to be sexual with each other when they are together, in order to be saved they must separate in my opinion.
These were my thoughts as well, Jeanie.

I also think that the youth are a bit (understatement) enamored with the flesh and it doesn't always equate with homosexuality, JMO.
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Old 06-25-2008, 11:06 AM
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Re: Gays, family ties and opening up....

I think they might be better off finding a great pastor that will counsel with them and not condemn them. If they stay together there will probably be a greater temptation not to change the relationship. Above all Jesus can deliver both of them from this bondage. I will be praying for them JT, and also praying that God will give you wisdom to help the family deal with this also.
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Old 06-25-2008, 11:12 AM
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Re: Gays, family ties and opening up....

Just throwing this out of discussion - if they no longer have ANY sexual relations are they still living in sin?

Note: Assuming they have made their hearts right with God.
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Old 06-25-2008, 11:20 AM
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Re: Gays, family ties and opening up....

Quote:
Originally Posted by rgcraig View Post
Just throwing this out of discussion - if they no longer have ANY sexual relations are they still living in sin?

Note: Assuming they have made their hearts right with God.
You mean like being roommates? I will have to think about that. While it might not be sinful, I think it would be very unwise. I guess if they still consider themselves "soul mates" yes, with sex or without, it is the heart of the matter.
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If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV

He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV

Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
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Old 06-25-2008, 11:33 AM
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Re: Gays, family ties and opening up....

Quote:
Originally Posted by rgcraig View Post
Just throwing this out of discussion - if they no longer have ANY sexual relations are they still living in sin?

Note: Assuming they have made their hearts right with God.
I think that would be a foolish thing for them to do. Like an alcoholic working in a bar. 2 Tim 2:22 FLEE youthful lusts.
It would also be impossible to live together like that and stay above reproach, after having that relationship previously.
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Old 06-25-2008, 11:35 AM
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Re: Gays, family ties and opening up....

Quote:
Originally Posted by rgcraig View Post
Just throwing this out of discussion - if they no longer have ANY sexual relations are they still living in sin?
Note: Assuming they have made their hearts right with God.
I sat at dinner with a visiting Pastor who counsels many young people who struggle with homosexuality, he says he deals with the behavior first, because that is what is a sin.

The feelings and all that other stuff they can deal with later, but that they understand that the actions of homosexuality is what is sinful.

(I hope I am explainig this right, he sure said it better than I did)
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