Perhaps the better question would be "how can I please God in this situation?"
Divorce may not be the best option, and is almost resoundingly discouraged, even when there truly are situations that fall within the parameters of Biblical allowance.
Maybe the answer is to stop looking for a way out, and to start looking for hope, restoration and the peace of God.
One person alone cant do this..if one partner is willing, you are just out of luck
Math.19:2: And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.
3: The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
4: And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5: And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6: Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7: They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8: He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9: And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, (adultery) and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
1 Cor.7:10: And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11: But and if she depart, ( for anything other then adultery) let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
1 Cor.7:12: But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13: And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14: For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15: But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage (under bondage means, you are not bound by the law of marriage because the person is not a believer and God didn't join them together) in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16: For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
something that keeps coming to my mind is that this subject deals with actual real human beings that are either hurt, or have been hurt quite severly.
Divorce doesnt exist without serious emotional pain.
we arent talking about a clinical set of statistics we are talking about actual people who have spent more nights than they care to remember in gut wrenching agony over a loss as real as death.
i am not willing to discuss divorce without also recognizing that this issue isnt simply a mental exercise.
God bless and heal those who have suffered.
Thank you for that Ferd. It is very hard sometimes to read these threads and the pronouncements that people make. The idea seem to be that most who divorce are just bored and decide to throw in the towel and go skipping merrily away.
I realize that there are situations (very rarely) that this may be the case, but in most cases, there is unbelievable agony and pain that is involved. Especially if you are trying to be a Christian, and trying to do the right thing.
And then you have all of the well meaning saints in happy marriages trying to tell you what you should do, and what would help, and what they would do.
Divorce is ugly, painful, life altering and anyone who thinks otherwise is deceived. The fact of the matter is that I don't believe it is Gods plan, and I don't believe that is good, natural or right, but I have been through it twice.
In fact, just to throw this out there for all of you scholars, on my second divorce, I walked away from God, for two reasons.
One; I felt that if there was a God, He certainly didn't love or care about me. Otherwise, why would He have let me get into these two horrible marriages, when all I had ever done (even as a teen-ager) was love Him, and want to serve Him.
Secondly; because I believed as some of you do, that there are only certain black and white biblical principals that would allow for a divorce, and my situation did not fall within those parameters. So, at that point, it was either commit the sin of killing myself, or leave the marriage. (which by the way, I had been told to do by several different mental health professionals)
Yes, I prayed. I prayed for years. But, in the end, it overwhelmed me. So, I left. And it took several years of people reaching for me, loving me with the love of Christ, for it to get through to me that if God could forgive me of anything, He really could forgive me for a broken marriage. Disagree if you want to, but I know that the blood of Christ covers me.
Sorry, what I meant to say was simply, Thanks Ferd!!
Thank you for that Ferd. It is very hard sometimes to read these threads and the pronouncements that people make. The idea seem to be that most who divorce are just bored and decide to throw in the towel and go skipping merrily away.
I realize that there are situations (very rarely) that this may be the case, but in most cases, there is unbelievable agony and pain that is involved. Especially if you are trying to be a Christian, and trying to do the right thing.
And then you have of the well meaning saints in happy marriages trying to tell you what you should do, and what would help, and what they would do.
Divorce is ugly, painful, life altering and anyone who thinks otherwise is deceived. The fact of the matter is that I don't believe it is Gods plan, and I don't believe that is good, natural or right, but I have been through it twice.
In fact, just to throw this out there for all of you scholars, on my second divorce, I walked away from God, for two reasons.
One; I felt that if there was a God, He certainly didn't love or care about me. Otherwise, why would He have let me get into these two horrible marriages, when all I had ever done (even as a teen-ager) was love Him, and want to serve Him.
Secondly; because I believed as some of you do, that there are only certain black and white biblical principals that would allow for a divorce, and my situation did not fall within those parameters. So, at that point, it was either commit the sin of killing myself, or leave the marriage. (which by the way, I had been told to do by several different mental health professionals)
Yes, I prayed. I prayed for years. But, in the end, it overwhelmed me. So, I left. And it took several years of people reaching for me, loving me with the love of Christ, for it to get through to me that if God could forgive me of anything, He really could forgive me for a broken marriage. Disagree if you want to, but I know that the blood of Christ covers me.
Sorry, what I meant to say was simply, Thanks Ferd!!
Great Post, De, and thanks for the transparency....
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Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
"You will be hated for my sake-Just remember that it should be for MY sake and not YOURS-
Do NOT act in such a way as to be offensive, and then blame it on me"
If I ever marry and my wife was unfaithful, I'd happly forgive her, and give her my boot as a departure gift as she's flying out the front door.
I couldn't nor wouldn't touch her after being defiled by another man! She would lose all my trust. I couldn't live with doubt the rest of my life wondering if she's out there being a harlot.
Trust is very difficult to rebuild, once broken. I don't think I could trust again either, if my wife were to ever go behind my back like that. This is how my dad ended up divorced from his third wife.
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