Self-Mutilation/"Cutting"

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by ILG

When I worked as a domestic violence advocate I saw 'cutting' more than I'd ever seen it before. Mostly by younger girls who had been sexually abused. What I find odd about it all is that years ago, girls acted out with anorexia/bulimia or promiscuity or something like that. But now, it's wierd. Suddenly everyone is 'cutting'. I don't know. It almost seems like a fad. I am not trying to dismiss the seriousness of it, as I know it is a serious issue. It just makes me wonder about the 'choice' of acting out.

ILG,
Today more things are out in the open, and professionals, teachers, and parents know what to look for. It is a choice...but they are searching for an emotional release that they feel comes from pain and seeing the blood run out of them.
Blessings, Rhoni

[HappyTown]

This is happy towns daughter.. thought I could give some input on the matter.

I myself have had experience with cutting.. through friends and my own personal problems.

For me it was a way of letting some stress and emotional pain out, I wanted others to see how much I was hurting on the inside so i inflicted cuts on myself so others would see... so they would feel my pain. It also helped me actually feel something, I was so depressed that I became numb and the only sensation that I could feel was pain.. in a sick way it felt good to me. It was also symbolic to me.... as my cuts began to heal. It was a way of showing myself that it gets better. I also liked how it felt when the cuts began to heal. Later after they healed a little, I used to hit my cuts so I would feel the pain again. Cutting was also something that I could control in my life, everything else in my life was pretty much out of my hands I felt like I was going crazy. It was like I had a secret that no one else knew about, and i thought the secret had kept me sane.

The more I cut the easier it became the next time around... I didnt ever really have the intention of killing myself. except later on when I got really depressed the thought of offing myself came to mind quite often. And the fact that I had cut before made it seem all the easier to do. Thankfully my parents noticed that there was something off with me and helped me out. My friends also tried to help me too. The only thing that really stopped me from killing myself was the fact that I didnt want to hurt my parents.

So yes cutting can lead to a fatal end. In my case I was lucky.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by HappyTown

This is happy towns daughter.. thought I could give some input on the matter.

I myself have had experience with cutting.. through friends and my own personal problems.

For me it was a way of letting some stress and emotional pain out, I wanted others to see how much I was hurting on the inside so i inflicted cuts on myself so others would see... so they would feel my pain. It also helped me actually feel something, I was so depressed that I became numb and the only sensation that I could feel was pain.. in a sick way it felt good to me. It was also symbolic to me.... as my cuts began to heal. It was a way of showing myself that it gets better. I also liked how it felt when the cuts began to heal. Later after they healed a little, I used to hit my cuts so I would feel the pain again. Cutting was also something that I could control in my life, everything else in my life was pretty much out of my hands I felt like I was going crazy. It was like I had a secret that no one else knew about, and i thought the secret had kept me sane.

The more I cut the easier it became the next time around... I didnt ever really have the intention of killing myself. except later on when I got really depressed the thought of offing myself came to mind quite often. And the fact that I had cut before made it seem all the easier to do. Thankfully my parents noticed that there was something off with me and helped me out. My friends also tried to help me too. The only thing that really stopped me from killing myself was the fact that I didnt want to hurt my parents.

So yes cutting can lead to a fatal end. In my case I was lucky.

Dear HT Daughter,

This must have been difficult for you to share and I appreciate your honesty. I am so glad your parents noticed and got you help before you did something that no one would get ever.

The reason you gave for not wanting to kill yourself is the best safeguard for those contemplating suicide. Suicide would be a selfish thing to do to a parent. Parents never get completely over the loss of a child.

Today, I hope you have found a better way to release your emotional frustration and have found the healing you needed.

Thank you again for sharing your testimony. It may just save another life.

***Parents and friends need to notice when something like this is happening and tell someone. It can be life or death***

Blessings & Prayers,
Rhoni

[HappyTown]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

Dear HT Daughter,

This must have been difficult for you to share and I appreciate your honesty. I am so glad your parents noticed and got you help before you did something that no one would get ever.

The reason you gave for not wanting to kill yourself is the best safeguard for those contemplating suicide. Suicide would be a selfish thing to do to a parent. Parents never get completely over the loss of a child.

Today, I hope you have found a better way to release your emotional frustration and have found the healing you needed.

Thank you again for sharing your testimony. It may just save another life.

***Parents and friends need to notice when something like this is happening and tell someone. It can be life or death***

Blessings & Prayers,
Rhoni

Mom here.

Rhoni I can honestly say I never felt so hopeless in my life, frankly it scared the hell out me, when our daughter confused in us just how depressed she was wanted to die. To hear your child voice such a thing is very frightening overwhelming to say the least, losing em. Yes I knew she was depressed, just didn't realize how deep it went, was lost at what to do, this was out our league.

We tried going holiestic but it didn't work she kept getting darker and more depressed along with anxiety to the point she could not ride the bus to or from school, then came the calls from school she could not handle being there the anxiety was to much to handle along with her depression. At this point we realized we needed outside help to save our daughter she was slipping away in front of us, long gone was the happy go lucky kid we knew, her anger was also out of control, very temper short. We got help, therapist who diagnose Bipolar Manic, along with low does Zoloft and much prayer. This has helped get her back to were she use to be, she has try going off Zoloft 3 different times, but only to slip back into the depressed, all symptom returning . Today, two years later she doing great, graduated from high school this year with honors, holding down a job looking forward to college and has a wonderful boyfriend who heading off to The Pensacola Christian College this week. We are very proud of her!

[HappyTown]

My daughter wanted me to add she was not sexually abused !

[jezebelslayer]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

Sherri,

I do not agree with the premise of the book. I think the woman who wrote it is "overspiritualizing" the problem like so many of us do. I tend to agree with Bro Rutledge...sin is the cause of most of the problems in society. Not necessarily the one who is cutting, but the person who abused him/her.

I have counseled many clients, and many don't even know God much less scripture, therefore the premise that they are mimicing the blood of Jesus is a moot point. I do agree that it is more about control and giving emotional pain an outlet.

Blessings, Rhoni

You are so right.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by HappyTown

Mom here.

Rhoni I can honestly say I never felt so hopeless in my life, frankly it scared the hell out me, when our daughter confused in us just how depressed she was wanted to die. To hear your child voice such a thing is very frightening overwhelming to say the least, losing em. Yes I knew she was depressed, just didn't realize how deep it went, was lost at what to do, this was out our league.

We tried going holiestic but it didn't work she kept getting darker and more depressed along with anxiety to the point she could not ride the bus to or from school, then came the calls from school she could not handle being there the anxiety was to much to handle along with her depression. At this point we realized we needed outside help to save our daughter she was slipping away in front of us, long gone was the happy go lucky kid we knew, her anger was also out of control, very temper short. We got help, therapist who diagnose Bipolar Manic, along with low does Zoloft and much prayer. This has helped get her back to were she use to be, she has try going off Zoloft 3 different times, but only to slip back into the depressed, all symptom returning . Today, two years later she doing great, graduated from high school this year with honors, holding down a job looking forward to college and has a wonderful boyfriend who heading off to The Pensacola Christian College this week. We are very proud of her!

Dear Mom,

Thank you for letting your daughter tell us her story...that is such a brave thing for her to do. I'd also like to say that it is a brave thing for you to do. I can't imagine how afraid you were when you realized the depths of her depression. It is unusual to diagnose such a young girl as bi-polar but than God you found a good therapist who found this out.

Many people who are truly bi-polar have to take medicine the rest of their life, like a diabetic has to take insulin. There is no shame in taking medication to control the symptoms of this disease. The alternative would be a history of jobs you quit from or are fired from because of impulsive behaviors and explosive temper, a long line of broken relationships, and poor interpersonal skills.

I'd like to thank you for listening to the therapist and allowing your daughter to get the treatment she needs to be successful. Many church saints & leadership do not understand mental illness and the effects on the family so it must have been difficult to go against the popular religious belief system to get your daughter help. I am sure you have been rewarded in your efforts because look at what she has accomplished, and I know you are so proud.

Again, thank you and your daughter for giving us a true case in point. Your story may help others struggling with the same thing and encourage them to get help.

God bless your family,
Rhoni

[Rhoni]

I want to push this forward because this is a very real problem in our midst and we need to be forarmed for this battle of the mind.

Blessings, Rhoni

[AmazingGrace]

Yes Rhoni this is a very real deal and so many think its just the youth... my mom did this even at times and she was nearly 60 when she quit. She had been sexually abused and she had also a severe eating disorder among other things..She would cut and pick all the time... It was usually on her arms or legs and it got much worse when she became bedbound. She would lay in bed and go to town... I realized it one day when I knew she had been stuck in bed for a week and had new wounds that were not healing.. yes she was a diabetic but they should have healed some yet they were always horrible and no healing to them at all. I have too much to do to go into much more detail right now but I just thank God that she got past this and received her emotional healing before she passed on. My mother was a beautiful person on the inside and out and for one of her children to know she could have died living in that kind of inward pain is scary. I thank God for his healing power!

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

ILG,
Today more things are out in the open, and professionals, teachers, and parents know what to look for. It is a choice...but they are searching for an emotional release that they feel comes from pain and seeing the blood run out of them.
Blessings, Rhoni

Yes, I am aware of that. The point is that people choose what release valve they use. Cutting seems to be a more popular form of release now. And I also sometimes wonder if all the talk about these things doesn't somewhat popularize them. I think there is a fine line between talking about what needs to be talked about and popularizing forms of release/self-mutilation. Usually the people that are looking for funding only talk about the need to talk about issues. But I think there comes a point in time where the social services agencies, in effect, propogate what they say they are fighting by making it look acceptable. Where the line shoud be drawn on these things is a hard thing, but it was a issue I always had while working as a domestic violence advocate. I finally left because there were some things I simply could not rectify in my head and I did not have the freedom to work as an advocate in the way I felt best. Social services only tell a part of the story to people, leave out the spiritual element and then it often makes a worse mess in the long run. I saw women time and again leave their abusive spouses and make a worse mess of their lives afterwards because there were no restraints on what to do after leaving. Sure, they were advised not to jump too quickly and to look for red flags....but that was not taken real seriously by people who are pretty much relationship addicted.