You might be Apostolic if...

[jaxfam6]

Originally Posted by nahkoe

Apostolic Assemblies I think?

correct

[jdm05]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

All vacation plans are subject to the pastors approval.

The first time you are OFFICIALLY allowed to be ALONE with your wife in any way is on your wedding night.

And speaking of wedding nights, your married on a Saturday night and seen in church the next morning just to show the rest of the congregation that your now allowed to sit next to each other.

Continuing on the marriage theme, you posted an open wedding invitation for the wedding AND reception for all church members and their families on the bulletin board.....

.....which doesn't matter much because the reception will be in the church basement....

.....potluck style.

You will have your first baby 9-10 months after said wedding night.

You won't own a TV but will spend an hour watching it at Sears.....

....unless your really holy, then you'll avert your eyes (in grand fashion for all to see) as you walk by the electronics section.

If you come across a "non-traditional" person or couple, such as gay couple, goth, punk, etc, in the mall, you'll take great pains to walk on the other side so as to not have to come too close -unlike some who call themselves "Christian" would actually smile at them as they passed.

As you stop at a diner for your after-Wed service dinner, you'll either leave no tip or a couple of bucks despite the group bill being 60-80.

LOL!!! Now that is the truth!!!

[Bella1]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

All vacation plans are subject to the pastors approval.

The first time you are OFFICIALLY allowed to be ALONE with your wife in any way is on your wedding night.

And speaking of wedding nights, your married on a Saturday night and seen in church the next morning just to show the rest of the congregation that your now allowed to sit next to each other.

Continuing on the marriage theme, you posted an open wedding invitation for the wedding AND reception for all church members and their families on the bulletin board.....

.....which doesn't matter much because the reception will be in the church basement....

.....potluck style.

You will have your first baby 9-10 months after said wedding night.

You won't own a TV but will spend an hour watching it at Sears.....

....unless your really holy, then you'll avert your eyes (in grand fashion for all to see) as you walk by the electronics section.

If you come across a "non-traditional" person or couple, such as gay couple, goth, punk, etc, in the mall, you'll take great pains to walk on the other side so as to not have to come too close -unlike some who call themselves "Christian" would actually smile at them as they passed.

As you stop at a diner for your after-Wed service dinner, you'll either leave no tip or a couple of bucks despite the group bill being 60-80.

[RandyWayne]

You might be Apostolic if:

The parking lot consists of 75% minivans surrounding by a big old boat of a Lincoln -which belongs to the pastor.

You wonder why bible quizzing is not an Olympic sport.....

....although you don't officially follow the Olympics because 1) The athletes immodest apparel, 2) It is "worldly" and 3) It is on television -which means you have to follow it online.

If you are cursed with being born a mere "woman" you know you can at least take solice in the fact that you have a head full of pure POWER and GLORY which can be used to heal your family, protect them, and melt the faces of any NAZI's that may capture you! (Just make sure the Gov doesn't get a hold of it and store it in some huge warehouse.....)