Has a minister ever hurt you?

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Sister Alvear

How did you get over it? Do you still hurt...are there scars...did it bring about anything good?


Just thought we might help each other....please do not bash those that hurt you but tell us what helped you overcome.

Sis. A,

I have been incredibly hurt, as I have shared on this forum before. What I think is great, is that you as a conservative are ASKING! That's pretty unprecedented, don't you think? I think it's great! I love it!

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Steve Epley

If Joseph had not been sold to Egypt where would his brethren been?
His hurt made him a great leader.
We pray to be like Jesus if we are to be like Him we have to be hurt.

Pain is part of the process and our attitude toward it.

Just remember, it was the evil people that did the beating.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Sister Alvear

You are generally hurt by those you help the most...I have never figures out the just why of that statement but it usually holds true.

Because you have invested the most and expect some gratitude.

[Evang.Benincasa]

It's a part of life Brothers and Sisters. We get offended from the cradle to the grave. It's an important part of maturing into a seasoned saint. What happens is, that some people get offended by everything that doesn't go their way. If the Pastor's wife doesn't jump through hoops of fire some individuals fall out and loose their victory. If the Pastor doesn't meet their approval on certain subjects he is killed slowly by back biting, and then internal surplanting and discord making among the troops. Yet, there are individuals who take position and allow it to skew their view of their job description within the Body of Christ. Yet, the Lord Jesus Christ knows how to remove surgically those who would try to take Jesus' headship in the Body and use it for their own purpose.

We are to allow the offences to happen and deal with them to help mature us in the Body. Ministers are supposed to have Elders in their lives, so if a situation crops up that is on the level of Jim Jonesian, or David Koreshian in behavior. The Elders of an Elder will be able to take care of the situation as God leads them.

Sometimes an offended individual can be offended for all the wrong reasons and be going off half cocked, remember this, when a America (or our selves personally) are having a tough time we scream TRIBULATION the world is coming to an end! Yeah it is for us personally, but for the Brothers and Sisters who live in countries where the living is harsh 24/7 they look at us like we are spoiled brats.

Therefore we need to hit the prayer room and pray through to tongues and dig ourselves. Instead of thinking Ministers, or our Brothers and Sisters, are out to get us or don't love us.

Going off and curling up in the fetal position while we cry ourselves to sleep is bogus. Jesus is the answer, and we have a good life in Him, no matter what happens. I have dealt with all kinds of people from sinners to saints to minsters who were flipped out. I have been in offices where men acted less than Apostolic, not even qualifying to be on a level of even good citizens.

Yet, my wife and I have continued to be Holiness Apostolic Pentecostals, no matter what anyone can do to us. We are living unto the Lord on a one on one basis with Jesus. Our walk with Jesus Christ is not predicated on wether or not someone else is towing the line. People join all kinds of insane groups and cults, and endure all sorts of stupidity while family members watch in horror. Yet, they are happier than Evangelist Benincasa with seven pounds of steamed boudin. Yet, people join weirdo groups everyday and become loyal lifetime members. But take the same people and preach to them Bible truth and teach them that they should become spiritually mature as they interact with the rest of the Body, they wipe out and bail out?



We don't live unto man, we live unto Jesus Christ. If someone treats you unkind, take into consideration the source. Also understand what is happening in their personal life (they may be going through situations you know nothing about) so be very cool and prayerful. Remember there are preachers out their who love Jesus Christ and are dealing with issues of their own. Yet they keep coming to work while some saints couldn't give a care.

Has a minister ever hurt me? Has my mother or father, sisters or brother ever hurt me? Listen, I've hurt my self way worse in the past, and did it because I reacted instead of responded to the situation. Offenses will come, but woe to THEM that the offences come by. It’s all about how YOU deal with it. When we get offended and allow ourselves to lose out because of it, we are the losers. The only one you can control is yourself, no one else. We need to be Apostolic, if no one else wants to do the same, oh well. Pray for them. Let Jesus work on them, but YOU be the best you can be through Jesus Christ.

In Jesus name

Brother Benincasa

www.OnTimeJournal.com

[shawndell]

My mom raised my cousin,he was my moms sisters boy so instead of him being my cousin he was my brother just like Brother Eastman is my brother by our mom and dad.Well one time we were in sunday church service and my cousin had his arm on the back of the pew that happened to be around me.The pastor stopped his serman and told us both to stand up when we did he started making discusting remarks about us being imoral and sexual in church and told us if my cousin could not keep his hands to him self then we would have to leave.Every body turned to look at us like we were so awful and I wanted to run out of the church!I was so emberassed that I couldmt lift my head through the whole service.I was omly 14 years old and my cousin was 11 years old.God showed me a long time ago that you dont put your trust in the arm of flesh and if I turn from God over being hurt then that person who hurt me is closer to God than I am.

[Withdrawn]

Originally Posted by n david

Yes, been hurt before. Wasn't the first time and likely not the last time. I tend to be too trusting and open.

The only way over this is thru forgiveness; understanding that humans are not perfect and there is and will always be flesh and sin that causes conflict and pain.

There have been, and likely will always be moments when I'm reminded of that past and wince from the hurt it caused. Even with forgiveness and moving forward, there are scars.

Incredibly, however, the worst time of my life brought the best of my life. After a long season of hurt, God brought me thru better and stronger than before. I'm in a better place than I was. I've become wiser and have learned through this experience that while leaders and friends fail you ... God will never fail; He'll never leave; He'll never forsake.

It was that time of my life that brought me closer to God ... and I'm thankful for it.

Originally Posted by Rhoni

Sister Alvear,

I was hurt once, and once a Pastor made me angry.
#1 The Pastor who hurt me: I loved he and his wife and have forgiven them. I know they were young, inexperienced, and were reacting from their own insecurities. It took me two years but I think we go through a certain 'issue' time and again to learn a lesson. We continue to go through it until we pass the test. I passed the test and it is finished.

#2 The Pastor who made me angry: I put it into perspective and consider him to have a God-complex and know he will never be successful. He may for a time, but will be brought low due to his pride. In the scheme of things...he has no effect on my person or life so I filed it in 13.

Pastor's are human. Sometimes we set them up to be more than they are, or many times they set themselves up to be more than they are. Either way...they are human like the rest of us and are subject to making wrong decisions and poor choices.

Hope this answers some of your wondering
Blessings, Rhoni

Yep... I've been hurt before. But these posts seem to sum up how my family and I got through it. I'll even agree with Bro. Epley and his statement that offenses will either make us better or bitter. Letting go of bitterness is hard, but it frees us to hear the voice of God and see the way more clearly. Bitterness is a poison that will kill us - not the person we are bitter over. Bitterness is the burden of the offended and only he/she can lay it down... and it's a choice.

I can't say I'm completely over what happened, but I'm making progress every day. I don't want anything to do with the man, but I don't wish him harm and I hope he repents for what he has done and the lies he told on us. But that's not my problem anymore. I confronted him (the rebuke, as MOADQ said) and he responded with deafening silence. I've accepted, by God's amazing grace, that there's nothing more I can do. It's between God and him. Besides, as Jeff Arnold says, time and truth are best friends.

If I choose to hold onto bitterness, it hinders me from fulfilling my calling, and it harms the overall cause because the world sees all this nonsense going on. I choose to allow the offense to make me better!

Blessings to you, Sis. A for starting this thread. And thank you to so many others for NOT turning this into a "bash the hurting" thread because we have to defend all pastors at all costs. It's not about pastors needing defense as much as it is saints needing an outlet and being able to heal their hearts.

[BadgerBoysMom]

I have been reading through this thread and I will say it is helping me tremendously!

I have been hurt deeply by a man - who happened to be a pastor. It has been quite difficult to separate the "pastor" part from the "man" part but with God's help I think it is finally sinking in.

I have definitely grown through this experience but in hindsight I can see (not completely but a little at a time) God's strength working in me. I would not be who I am today had I not been through this experience.

I would like to say this... I dont believe I was intentionally hurt. This man (I believe) has made choices and done things he truly believed to be in the best interest of me and others involved. He is human but so am I.

I can make this comparison. I have made decisions and done things in what I believe to be in the best interest of my children only to discover they were hurtful to them (rather than helpful) but it was not my intention. I love my kids and would not ever deliberately hurt them.

Through time and prayer and forgiveness I believe I can this was the case here. In my humanness when I have hurt my kids, they forgive me and even still love me. Who am I to withhold such a gift from others!

I know God is still working on me and I am so thankful for it! Even though I don't always "feel it".

[Sister Alvear]

Originally Posted by jaamez

Yep... I've been hurt before. But these posts seem to sum up how my family and I got through it. I'll even agree with Bro. Epley and his statement that offenses will either make us better or bitter. Letting go of bitterness is hard, but it frees us to hear the voice of God and see the way more clearly. Bitterness is a poison that will kill us - not the person we are bitter over. Bitterness is the burden of the offended and only he/she can lay it down... and it's a choice.

I can't say I'm completely over what happened, but I'm making progress every day. I don't want anything to do with the man, but I don't wish him harm and I hope he repents for what he has done and the lies he told on us. But that's not my problem anymore. I confronted him (the rebuke, as MOADQ said) and he responded with deafening silence. I've accepted, by God's amazing grace, that there's nothing more I can do. It's between God and him. Besides, as Jeff Arnold says, time and truth are best friends.

If I choose to hold onto bitterness, it hinders me from fulfilling my calling, and it harms the overall cause because the world sees all this nonsense going on. I choose to allow the offense to make me better!

Blessings to you, Sis. A for starting this thread. And thank you to so many others for NOT turning this into a "bash the hurting" thread because we have to defend all pastors at all costs. It's not about pastors needing defense as much as it is saints needing an outlet and being able to heal their hearts.

Thank you. I love most preachers and even those I do not love so much I hold in high esteem I respect their office.

As a lady I have been hurt by cuel degrading remarks that preachers sometimes say...I have been hurt by other missionaries that had far more means that I will ever have, I have been hurt by friends...however the purpose of this is just to help people learn to forgive...to go on...

In times of deep grief we find out the lesson of TRUE friends...the value of prayer and we have the opportunity to grow closer to the Lord.

[Sister Alvear]

Originally Posted by BadgerBoysMom

I have been reading through this thread and I will say it is helping me tremendously!

I have been hurt deeply by a man - who happened to be a pastor. It has been quite difficult to separate the "pastor" part from the "man" part but with God's help I think it is finally sinking in.

I have definitely grown through this experience but in hindsight I can see (not completely but a little at a time) God's strength working in me. I would not be who I am today had I not been through this experience.

I would like to say this... I dont believe I was intentionally hurt. This man (I believe) has made choices and done things he truly believed to be in the best interest of me and others involved. He is human but so am I.

I can make this comparison. I have made decisions and done things in what I believe to be in the best interest of my children only to discover they were hurtful to them (rather than helpful) but it was not my intention. I love my kids and would not ever deliberately hurt them.

Through time and prayer and forgiveness I believe I can this was the case here. In my humanness when I have hurt my kids, they forgive me and even still love me. Who am I to withhold such a gift from others!

I know God is still working on me and I am so thankful for it! Even though I don't always "feel it".

Love you!

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Sister Alvear

You are generally hurt by those you help the most...I have never figures out the just why of that statement but it usually holds true.

Sis. Alvear,

If you didn't love them or at least respect them then they wouldn't hurt you. Such was the case with the one who hurt me. The one I was angry at I didn't care for in the least. Just thought he was a jerk LOL

Blessings, Rhoni