A Question About Recovery

Digging4Truth · #1 08-28-2009, 10:04 AM

Miss B made the following statement in the thread about the girl being found that was kidnapped 18 years ago.

Quote:

I'm so happy she's been found--how great for the family. I imagine she has a long way to go to be normal, though.

My question is about the bolded portion of the statement.

Now... after going through an ordeal like this a person is far from normal. And normal, as Miss B said, will take a while to attain.

Because of their treatment there will be distrust, anger, resentment etc.

Because of their treatment there will be illogical attitudes and actions that will have to be worked through and much patience will need to be had while she works through the mental issues caused by the last 18 years of her life.

I believe that this is an expected outcome of what she has been through.

But what about people who have lived in an abusive home?

Why can't some people see that their "attitudes" and the things they do are somewhat tied to a bad home life and there is a need for patience and, just like the healing from a broken limb or a broken back, healing takes time, patience & counseling?

RandyWayne · #2 08-28-2009, 10:11 AM

This could get interesting.

I wonder if the anti-professional-councilor crowd will show up to explain that the only thing this girl needs is a few sessions with her pastor and a good praying through to make 18 years of captivity go away.

Scott Hutchinson · #3 08-28-2009, 10:12 AM

People who live in abusive enviroments are often deemed as rebellious,but since they have been abused it is hard for them to trust authority figures,like teachers,bosses and such,because they feel people in authority are out to get them,people reared in abusive enviroments don't know anything else.
In their way of thinking people use their authority to hurt them,like abusive parents do to helpless children.
It's hard for them to relate to loving authority who holds someones best interest at heart,they can't relate to that concept.

Thinking · #4 08-28-2009, 10:27 AM

It is likely she will never be "normal." Extremely sad.

coadie · #5 08-28-2009, 10:34 AM

Left school at age 11
No computor (probably a benefit)
No outside friends
Poor health
No job or employment skills.
Mental, sexual and physical abuse.
I suspect there is stunted or thwarted development here
She can live at home and start off in a safe environment.
Just safety alone is a strong factor.
She is actually in the same condition that people fresh out of jail face except for she has a place to live.

Digging4Truth · #6 08-28-2009, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

This could get interesting.

I wonder if the anti-professional-councilor crowd will show up to explain that the only thing this girl needs is a few sessions with her pastor and a good praying through to make 18 years of captivity go away.

The counseling I have in mind is not necessarily professional.

I feel that good Christian counsel is preferred to professional counsel. Today's professional counselors lean too heavily on pharmaceuticals for my taste.

But a caring individual that has the will to address the mis-wiring of the thought processes that is caused by living in a developmentally toxic environment coupled with building a relationship with the only one who can heal the mind can make changes.

But the problem there are not a lot of people who possess that expertise.

coadie · #7 08-28-2009, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Those children, both girls now 11 and 15

This is where the most massive problems will come. Their mom had 11 years with real parents. These girls had their mom in a non healthy environment and I can't imagine they weren't molested also. They have had nothing but living in confinement.

Esther · #8 08-28-2009, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coadie

This is where the most massive problems will come. Their mom had 11 years with real parents. These girls had their mom in a non healthy environment and I can't imagine they weren't molested also. They have had nothing but living in confinement.

He took the girls with him out in the public. Don't know if he made them live in the backyard also or not.

SeekingOne · #9 08-28-2009, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Digging4Truth

Because of their treatment there will be distrust, anger, resentment etc.

Because of their treatment there will be illogical attitudes and actions that will have to be worked through and much patience will need to be had while she works through the mental issues caused by the last 18 years of her life.

I believe that this is an expected outcome of what she has been through.

But what about people who have lived in an abusive home?

Why can't some people see that their "attitudes" and the things they do are somewhat tied to a bad home life and there is a need for patience and, just like the healing from a broken limb or a broken back, healing takes time, patience & counseling?

I am really not hijacking this thread, it is on the same subject so bear with me. Okay?

I believe from knowing others and from personal experience that God can heal people with emotional and physical abuse to where they can go on with life and even help others overcome (for the most part) their past lives also. How people do it without God and His people is beyond my great imagination. (Memories from my childhood will never go away, and memories of much of my life in a particular church will never go away either.)

This topic might help some people on here to have patience with some people on the forum that seem to "cry foul" with all the UPC talk. Obviously, well I say obvious to me LOL, most people in the UPC and like churches do not consider themselves abused and appreciate their church and their heritage. If not, why is the organization so big and so many people happy and proud to be a part of it?

Well, it just so happens that there are churches (NOT just UPC!) that mentally abuse members and some of those people have ended up here. They seem rebellious to you, but maybe they are coming here to heal? I know I came here to heal and I am healing nicely thanks to this forum. Unbelievable, but very true. This place is therapy for me. Some of you showed me that true Christians exist in other churches. LOL

Just had to say.

Maybe this will help some of you have more patience with some of us that say things we shouldn't. After being taught man's opinion, we come here to find out what scripture says and some seem to have a need to vent frustrations too.

Elizabeth · #10 08-28-2009, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Digging4Truth

Miss B made the following statement in the thread about the girl being found that was kidnapped 18 years ago.

My question is about the bolded portion of the statement.

Now... after going through an ordeal like this a person is far from normal. And normal, as Miss B said, will take a while to attain.

Because of their treatment there will be distrust, anger, resentment etc.

Because of their treatment there will be illogical attitudes and actions that will have to be worked through and much patience will need to be had while she works through the mental issues caused by the last 18 years of her life.

I believe that this is an expected outcome of what she has been through.

But what about people who have lived in an abusive home?

Why can't some people see that their "attitudes" and the things they do are somewhat tied to a bad home life and there is a need for patience and, just like the healing from a broken limb or a broken back, healing takes time, patience & counseling?

I think some do- especially when you talk about.

We have a recovery group that meets every wednesday night, and someone always testifies about how their life used to be, and they always connect the past to how it affected them and perhaps still affects them.

It is something we do on a regular basis.

How can you receive healing over things unless you bring it to the light?