Where has Grace and Love gone...

[AreYouReady?]

God Bless you too Amanah!

I got very nervous being under the spotlight of a few who thought they were the chosen ones to crack the whip at other female saints. I knew I would never "measure up"...that there would be some little thing that was not pleasing.

I had a period of time when I was in a major depression. What? A born again, Holy Ghost filled, tongue talking, shouting believer in a depression??? How can that be???
One Saint told me that I was not supposed to let it show. I was supposed to show everybody that I had joy! Holy Ghost filled people were supposed to be happy!

Another saint said depression was the next step to possession. Whew. Don't think that did not freak me out.

Yeah. Depression can happen to anybody. When I found my self alone in this black hole...I really did not find myself alone. That's when Jesus came to minister to me through this. During the times when I felt the bleakness, I felt the Holy Ghost come and if the Holy Spirit had arms, I surely felt those arms wrap around me as if I was in His embrace. NONE of these women, unless they have been in a depression and not denied they were in one would ever understand how God ministers to His people no matter what illness they find themselves in.

Don't get me wrong, not every lady in the church was in this state, but they did not understand the depression in my life and because of that, they just stayed away.

It's been 10 years since this happened. God is good to me.