Did you mourn leaving the UPC?

[KeptByTheWord]

Leaving the UPC/OP mindset was like walking out on my family, and trying hard not to look back. My family goes back many generations of Pentecost with many in the ministry, as well as my husband's family, and it was not just leaving the church that hurt so much, but the hurt was compounded because it caused such a huge separation in our family. We had family members taking pot shots at every family gathering.... you just can't ever leave the OP ranks if you have a large number of family members still in it, and ever truly leave. Part of you is there, because your family is still there.

When we left the UPC, it was like a huge death and hole in our hearts, yet, we knew without a shadow of a doubt that God had led us to this place, and we weren't leaving God, in fact we were walking with Him to a deeper place with him, but it was to be a much more lonely journey.

We counted the cost before we left. I knew the price and the stakes were high. But once the scales had been lifted off my eyes, there was no going back.

And the Lord has been gracious and merciful to us through it all, and now, many of our family members have accepted the fact that although we left the "mothership", we haven't left the Lord, and most of them are more than a little puzzled at it all. Because most people who leave.... they turn to the world as if its their dearest friend, while instead, we have continued to pursue our relationship with the Lord.

So many in our family can't quite understand it (some do get it), but they do recognize that the love of God is still in our hearts, and so, with that, we have come to a place where most of the time we don't wade into those waters, but just accept each other as we are. It has been a tough time getting here, with a lot of really difficult moments, and conversations, but again, the Lord has been gracious to us through it all.

So... to answer the original posted question... yes, it was a very, very hard thing to do. It was *one* of the most difficult things I've done in my life. I've been through several transitions in my life that were tough, but yet, this was the most blessed time of walking with the Lord, and seeing His hand of provision through each step that we took. His mercy and grace have been with us through it all. Our relationship with the Lord is deeper, stronger, and more beautiful than before.

I don't know what the future holds. IF the OP ranks would quit attaching man-made stipulations to salvation, there is a great possibility we could go back. But, I don't know that I'll ever live to see that day.

There are many things that I miss, and many things that I shudder to think about from those days. It is kind of a split 50/50 thing, I have wonderful memories, and I have awful memories.

Real Realism... my advice to you is find your strength in the Lord for this decision. Count the cost, and be prepared to deal with the fall out of your decision, for it will be there. However, if following the leading of the Lord is important to you, and you feel this is of the Lord's doing, then you can follow HIM in perfect peace. I will be praying for you. I feel the agony of your decision, and know how it is. But I also know the peace that comes from the Lord that passes all our human understanding in the midst of these kinds of transitions. You and your family will be in our family's prayers.