Santa Claus and Lying to Children

[deacon blues]

I didn't grow up in a super conservative Apostolic church or home. We wore short sleeves, had televisions in our home, participated in school sports and extracurricular activities, and observed Christmas. When it came to Santa my parents didn't make a big deal about it. I can only remember once believing Santa came to my house and ate cookies we set out for him. I was probably 4. We would go to my dad's company Christmas party and sit on Santa's knee and tell him what we wanted for Christmas. He would give us real silver dollars. We would get our picture taken with Santa at the shopping centers and department stores. But I can only remember that one time truly believing in Santa looking at the half eaten cookies and half empty mug of hot chocolate.

I don't know at what point I knew Santa wasn't real, but I also don't have a memory of being devastated at the discovery that Santa was a fable. I know others who have vivid memories of being crushed at the realization that Santa wasn't for real.

I never felt a need to make my children believe in Santa Claus. I didn't have a strong conviction to tell them immediately there wasn't one. I just never made a big deal about it. My father in law showed up in a pretty elaborate Santa suit one year for Christmas when my eldest son was about 3-4. "Santa" pulled out a train set, ho-ho-ho-ing the whole time. When my son was done unwrapping his presents he said "Hey grandpa, you wanna play with my train?" It just wasn't a big deal to him.

So since I never grew up in a home where there was a tradition to play the Santa myth up to epic proportions, I had no idea how important it was to some people. One year I decided to preach a message about the real St. Nicholas, from which the tradition evolved from. His story is a compelling one about giving and sacrifice. It is a truly Christian story with a gospel theme interwoven throughout.

When I finished the sermon I soon made the discovery that several people were highly upset. I had said enough in the sermon that would allow any child who believed in Santa Claus to come to the understanding that Santa wasn't real. I ended up having a two hour meeting with some people later that day about how upset they were that I preached such a message. It's actually one of the most comical stories in my ministry when I recall the incident---that Christians were bent out of shape that their pastor told the truth from the pulpit. The other funny twist was that out of the three men that approached me to convene about the Santa sermon, none of them had children, and one wasn't married.

After that moment I realized ultimately how misguided it is to keep a tradition of lying to children such a sacred and sacrosanct one. The Santa myth is a harmless one I believe if the approach is reasonable. But I know of people, and some are relatives, who are very passionate about keeping their children believing in a lie to such a degree that the parents go to great lengths to keep fleecing their kids year after year.

The truth is going to be discovered, 100% of the time. So parents decide that they will lie to their children for as long as they can until at some point the child discovers a very sobering fact: my parents will lie to me, and they feel okay about that. I think it's a very sad revelation to a child who grows up believing what parents teach them about life, faith, love, right and wrong, etc. I especially feel it is a huge contradiction for Christian parents who wish to raise their children to embrace the faith, the principles of the Word of God, and Judeo-Christian values to subsequently maintain a significant lie throughout their children's formative years.

I am sure there are those on this forum that will be offended at what I'm saying, much like those who were offended at my sermon on that Sunday seven years ago. I truly feel the offense comes not as a result of much ado about nothing but as a result of the truth exposing a dearly held tradition that justifies lying to children who are taught throughout their childhood to be honest.

Call me a Scrooge, but when it comes to this issue I am a pretty conservative neo-Apostolic.