What Is The Longest You Have Prayed For Something?

[Jermyn Davidson]

There are two specific requests I have prayed for a long time and I am doubting whether the Lord will grant my requests because He hasn't granted them yet.

His decision to not grant these requests are a sore spot for me and they are a source of considerable discouragement in my low moments.

For over 20 years I have prayed two specific requests.

He has answered many other requests-- some immediately some in time, sometimes the answer was no and I understood, sometimes I didn't understand.

It's my perception of His Silence concerning these two requests that in some moments, breaks my heart.

In those moments, whether it is my own mind or satan, I am unsure, but every hurt and pain from the past seems to come rushing to my mind as I am almost overwhelmed with sadness and doubt.

How is it that I can judge my God and Savior as being unloving and unfaithful? In these moments of despair, my rational mind is irrational for even the rational mind can accept that if out of 100 prayers, 98 are clearly and timely answered and 2 are apparently years delayed then that is not indicative of a God that does not love me! A 98% answered prayer rate is not the rate of a Savior who is not faithful!

But I am hurting and in my time of pain, in my time of sorrow, I am irrational and I judge God.

It isn't long before the thought comes to forsake Jesus Christ because, in my mind, in those PRECIOUS moments of salty tears that sting my eyes and what's left of my faith, it seems that He has forsaken me.

It seems He has forsaken me.

Forsaken.

This isn't how it all ends for me and this isn't how it ends for you.

We are considered as sheep ready for slaughter. We face death all day. Still, in all of these things we are more than conquerors through Jesus Christ. I am convinced that neither death nor life, nothing present or is to come, nothing so high or so deep-- NOTHING will separate me from the love of God.

Even His faith-defying silence.

For I am crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in this body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me!

Yes! Yes! Jesus loves me!

Even me! Yes He does! Oh yes He does!

He loves the abused me.
He loves the abused me.
He loves the hurt me.
He loves the murderer me.
HA!
He loves the abandoned me.
He loves the forgotten me.
He loves the ungrateful me.
God loves me!
He loves me on my bad days.
He loves me on my most rebellious nights.
He loves me in sickness.
He loves me in health.
His love never dies!
He loves the HIV-positive me.
He loves the lupus-ridden me.
He loves the cancer-stricken me.
He loves the crippled me.
He loves the lame me.
He loves the mentally-ill me.
He loves the handicapped me.
He loves the healthy me.
He loves the broken me.
He loves the whole me.
He made me!
He knows me!
And GOD loves me!

Just as I am without one plea, but that His blood was shed me and that thou biddest me come to Thee oh Lamb of God I come. I come.

Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your soul.

There is more to this life than the pain that I am feeling right now. Yes there is pain that I do not understand. Yes there are sorrows and I don't know how they could possibly end well. Yes there are doubts and fears but I cast those doubts and fears out of my mind in the Name of Jesus Christ!

I cast those doubts and fears out in the Name of Jesus Christ!

For God has not given me the spirit of fear! Rather He has given to me a spirit of love, a spirit of power and a disciplined mind!

If I let my mind remain irrational, I will never remember the other 98 times that the Almighty God of Heaven came to see about me.

My irrational mind tells me in this moment that God doesn't love me but the Holy Ghost reminds me that God loved me before I ever thought of Him!

You see, God shows His love for me in that while I was still a sinner, His Son died for me!

There are many other things that God has done for me and I thank Him for those things-- I can never thank Him enough. Still, I want to bring your attention to the word "shows". How is it that through one act, completed over 2,000 years ago, that He "shows" His love towards me?

He "shows" His love. He "shows" His love. He continues to love me and He continues to show His love for me through that one act a long time ago because that one act covers me from first to last breath and EVERYTHING in between!

His love covers me.

He covers me with His feathers and under His wings I am safe! His faithfulness is my shield and buckler!