So, the truth. It's essentially out. So I'll just come out with it. Yes, I am larry_boy_44. Yeah, this is an alias...
No I don't know why my pre-emptive ban to this place was lifted (yes, I was banned before I stepped foot here). I'm not sure why my ip is different (or even if it is). Yes, I could fake it, but it never mattered enough to me...
So why come back? Well, in part because I was bored. In part because I could use it. I needed the apostolic influence, because I don't have it anywhere else... and why? Because I can't bring myself to step foot where I was (or have been)... I don't know where to go, what to do... nothing makes sense, what little I have I hold as tight as I can, but I don't know where to take it anymore...
Home... its an illusion... I haven't felt at home since I was 14... gave a crying speech about how this would always be home and I'd be back one day... But it wasn't... I went back and it never was the same...
So where is it? I don't know... What is truth? I'm not sure anymore...
So why come to places like this? Because in theory, the truth is said to be here.. Is it? Well, from the way questions get answered here, ridicule, abuse, and eventually a ban, not really... They don't. If truth is here, its hidden and people don't want it to get out...
So what now? Well, since the ban is coming and we all know it... I'll go back into my little hole... Seek God... and hope and pray that one day something happens where I have a clue what to do and where to go with what I feel, because right now... There's nothing... and nowhere... and no one...
I'm not re-writing this a third time... Yes, its a mess, I'm a mess, of course it is...
If you wanna hit me up, feel free to check out my site, shoot me an e-mail... whatever... I'm around...
Larry
larry_boy_44 ~at~ yahoo ~dot~ com
http://www.mortalclay.net
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