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Esther,
I know I am not a pastor but I did want to chime in if you dont mind. 3 months ago when my mother passed away I too was unsure of the protocol here so I called our former pastor. I asked him these exact questions and his responses were:
Funeral: I would never ask someone to pay for my services (Me) what if they chose to what is the norm you have been paid? (Pastor) usually between 75-100 dollars and the same for a wedding unless he had to take time off from work and then they paid him 200-250 and he never had to ask for that he said it was just offered
The only time he ever charged whatsoever was at one time he was asked to rent out our old church building for a wedding but he was not the one doing the service so he rented the building out to the family.
My 2 cents worth if it helps any
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