The Flip Side of Spiritual Abuse

[ILG]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

A couple of things to discuss:

1. Whether or not abuse to an authority figure is quite the same dynamic as abusive behavior by an authority figure, and

2. The very real problem of "saints" who overrun, abuse, bully and harass those in ministry for various reasons.

On the first point, and barring physical abuse or blatant verbal abuse, I would say that it's difficult to interpret what actually comprises abusive behavior. Some people are simply annoying, but that doesn't mean they're abusive. They may be opinionated and blunt; that doesn't necessarily mean they're abusive either. And I worry a bit about saints who are simply trying to stand up for themselves being called trouble makers or abusers of the ministry for daring to ask a question like, "Is that really in scripture?" or "Can you support this doctrine with the Word?" Actions and statements by those in authority have more impact than those of laypeople. There are times when a layperson could make a smart remark, and it could just roll off, but if a pastor made the same remark, it would carry more weight and might be considered abusive. (Because presumably people would take it more seriously.)

That said, on to point 2: There are people who can't stand authority figures, who don't like to have anyone even suggest to them how they could live their lives in a more productive way, are jealous of people in leadership, have a bone to pick with the church, etc. They love to pick at, gossip about, harass, interrogate, frustrate and generally cause misery for church staff. Those are the facts. Growing up in a pastor's home and being around other pastors and their families, I know this kind of stuff first hand. Some people are simply downright mean. It's a crying shame that any pastor or his family or other members of the church staff have to deal with people like that, but alas, it really goes with the job, and it can't be helped. Not really. Not unless you want to get out of the people business, and basically spreading the Gospel and caring for God's church is all about being in the people business. You either have to be all about people and all of the baggage (and sometimes garbage) that comes with that or not. You can't have it both ways.

My other thought is: Something can be hurtful and not be abusive.

Good points, Miss B.

[acerrak]

Originally Posted by ILG

Good points, Miss B.

hows that book comming sis?

[ILG]

Originally Posted by acerrak

hows that book comming sis?

Thanks for asking. I'm on chapter 14. I am just now getting into the last church we were at and there is a ton of paperwork to sift through and it is very emotionally draining. I took about a week off just recently. Hope to get back to it soon.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by ILG

Good points, Miss B.

Thanks, ILG!