Where has Grace and Love gone...

[AreYouReady?]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

As of today and for the past several months I haven't been in a UPC church. I know that the mode of operation is such that much doesn't really change in the UPC as a whole or at least changes don't happen quickly. I had a conversation with some UPC friends of mine last night and they told me that there still isn't much grace and love in the movement. This doesn't shock me since there wasn't much when I was in it. So my question is where did the grace and love go? Was it really ever there? Have we been a part of a bait-and-switch through the years? I am not trying to start a bash session, really I am not. I am curious because I have tons of friends and family still in the movement and it worries me that there isn't much grace or love in the movement, but they abound in judgement. Am I the only one that is feeling this?

I don't know where I'd be if God did not answer prayers for me. Walking with Jesus is a very personal experience for me. Nobody has a monopoly on our Savior, I learned.

I was born again in a UPC Church that was very loving...or maybe it was the new and the love of Christ that I felt. It all fell apart when the church spilt over ...tithing and pastoring. Then the pastor committed adultery and that put everybody in a turmoil.

So I try to keep my eyes off people ... and what they say...what they do so that I am not side-tracked. It would be easy for me to be embittered by some of my UPC experiences, but I know that not all UPC members hurt people or put a microscope on other people's lives. Those who do are meddling in other people's lives. The bible speaks something about that subject.

I would only be hurting myself if I allowed what other people say to embed their words into my heart.

Above all...I must make it to heaven regardless of what anybody throws my way.

[Jack Shephard]

Originally Posted by AreYouReady?

I don't know where I'd be if God did not answer prayers for me. Walking with Jesus is a very personal experience for me. Nobody has a monopoly on our Savior, I learned.

I was born again in a UPC Church that was very loving...or maybe it was the new and the love of Christ that I felt. It all fell apart when the church spilt over ...tithing and pastoring. Then the pastor committed adultery and that put everybody in a turmoil.

So I try to keep my eyes off people ... and what they say...what they do so that I am not side-tracked. It would be easy for me to be embittered by some of my UPC experiences, but I know that not all UPC members hurt people or put a microscope on other people's lives. Those who do are meddling in other people's lives. The bible speaks something about that subject.

I would only be hurting myself if I allowed what other people say to embed their words into my heart.

Above all...I must make it to heaven regardless of what anybody throws my way.

Well said. What I am talking about is more that there can be no community or culture established when there is no grace and love. I say that because it is nearly impossible at the very least improbable that someone will want to stay in a place they aren't loved and feel they can grow. Having a relationship with God is the most important thing, but when someone wants and needs to be loved and they go to church where love is supposed to be and there isn't love there is only judgement....who would wanna stay around that?

[AreYouReady?]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

I say that because it is nearly impossible at the very least improbable that someone will want to stay in a place they aren't loved and feel they can grow. Having a relationship with God is the most important thing, but when someone wants and needs to be loved and they go to church where love is supposed to be and there isn't love there is only judgement....who would wanna stay around that?

It is impossible, JT, that's why I left the UPC.

When I got to the point where I felt worse after attending services than before I came, that's when I felt the people's attitude in the church system towards me was interfering with my attitude of what *I* was supposed to be as a christian. I was finding a root of bitterness springing up when church people would hug their friends, but could not find a kind word towards me because I am a different sort of person than they are.

I used to wonder why I couldn't be loved despite our differences. I was willing to let others be who they are, believe what convictions they wanted to have and love them for who they are. I was not a mirror image of sister so-and-so. I was me.

[Jack Shephard]

Originally Posted by AreYouReady?

It is impossible, JT, that's why I left the UPC.

When I got to the point where I felt worse after attending services than before I came, that's when I felt the people's attitude in the church system towards me was interfering with my attitude of what *I* was supposed to be as a christian. I was finding a root of bitterness springing up when church people would hug their friends, but could not find a kind word towards me because I am a different sort of person than they are.

I used to wonder why I couldn't be loved despite our differences. I was willing to let others be who they are, believe what convictions they wanted to have and love them for who they are. I was not a mirror image of sister so-and-so. I was me.

I agree with you. What seems to happen, from my POV, is most of the churches figure it out when it is too late if they figure it out at all. Some are able to make the change and it better their atmosphere and they grow and produced changed lives. It's a sad waste of talent and time when this happens because if the UPC loved like they are able to then no way they would be hemorraging people like it is. Sorry to say that, but it is the truth.