Is it okay to hug your Pastor?

Titus2woman · #1 08-06-2012, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bro. Robbins

Don't read too much into that... Though the organization I'm ordained with, and minister within does have women pastors, was started by a woman, and I often minister for women pastors... I personally would never be a formal member of a church with a woman senior pastor. It was more of a rhetorical statement in light of the original question, not me providing my theological viewpoint of the appropriateness of women pastors.

POOF! that was short lived...

So is it 'appropriate' for you to hug a male pastor... I mean if you can keep your self pure in thought and deed (not you personally, the common you) thorugh that... why not a nice seinor lady pastor... or even a hot young girl pastor??? Where is the Holy Ghost when you need Him? JK... well.. maybe.

Bro. Robbins · #2 08-06-2012, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titus2woman

POOF! that was short lived...

So is it 'appropriate' for you to hug a male pastor... I mean if you can keep your self pure in thought and deed (not you personally, the common you) thorugh that... why not a nice seinor lady pastor... or even a hot young girl pastor??? Where is the Holy Ghost when you need Him? JK... well.. maybe.

HUH? Totally misfired thoughts from what I originally posted.

The point I was making was that the appropriateness had nothing to do with the role the person played, it was a gender issue. In the culture I was brought up in, and live in, it's not appropriate for me as a male to hug any female, no matter her role in the church. Therefore, if my Senior Pastor were male, no issue hugging him, but if my Senior Pastor were female, it would be inappropriate... because she is female, not because of the role in the church.

Titus2woman · #3 08-06-2012, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bro. Robbins

HUH? Totally misfired thoughts from what I originally posted.

The point I was making was that the appropriateness had nothing to do with the role the person played, it was a gender issue. In the culture I was brought up in, and live in, it's not appropriate for me as a male to hug any female, no matter her role in the church. Therefore, if my Senior Pastor were male, no issue hugging him, but if my Senior Pastor were female, it would be inappropriate... because she is female, not because of the role in the church.

My question was WHY?

And if the answer is about lust my TIC point was that this makes a strong assumption that everyone in church is hetrosexual and could never 'stumble' over a same sex hug... in which case... not being able to guarantee that we should probably refrain from all hugging... or all touching... Or we could just get right with God and be able to hug anyone... only feeling sexy when we hug our spouse. That's my approach.

Bro. Robbins · #4 08-06-2012, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titus2woman

My question was WHY?

And if the answer is about lust my TIC point was that this makes a strong assumption that everyone in church is hetrosexual and could never 'stumble' over a same sex hug... in which case... not being able to guarantee that we should probably refrain from all hugging... or all touching... Or we could just get right with God and be able to hug anyone... only feeling sexy when we hug our spouse. That's my approach.

the answer is because culturally it's considered inappropriate contact.... and you wouldn't even see same gender hug one another in my culture unless they are family or extremely, extremely, extremly close friends. That invasion of personal space, and gesture of familiarity is one for only those within the closest of circles.... at least that's the rule of thumb for the culture I am from, and pretty much so for the culture I live in now. Has nothing to do with lust or sex, it's just personal space and familiarity, and appropriateness of expression.

Titus2woman · #5 08-06-2012, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bro. Robbins

the answer is because culturally it's considered inappropriate contact.... and you wouldn't even see same gender hug one another in my culture unless they are family or extremely, extremely, extremly close friends. That invasion of personal space, and gesture of familiarity is one for only those within the closest of circles.... at least that's the rule of thumb for the culture I am from, and pretty much so for the culture I live in now. Has nothing to do with lust or sex, it's just personal space and familiarity, and appropriateness of expression.

So are we discussing ethnic culture or is there actually a religious culture to which you are referring and if so what religion would that be? I mean I am from Mexican descent, I hit a pinata on birthdays because it's a cultural thing... but hugging seems pretty universal.

Seems to me that since even babies hug it is something that must be 'unlearned' if we are not going to do it... And if we do not hug, why do we only not hug one gender? Why not forsake hugging everyone?

StillStanding · #6 08-06-2012, 02:37 PM

This reminds me of a story where a pastor noticed that another pastor was getting hugs while he only got handshakes. Out of curiosity, the pastor asked the other pastor why when people approach him they want a hug, but when the same people approached him they only want a handshake?

"It's easy", said the first pastor. When people approach you, you hold out your hand. When they approach me, I hold out BOTH hands!

Bro. Robbins · #7 08-06-2012, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titus2woman

So are we discussing ethnic culture or is there actually a religious culture to which you are referring and if so what religion would that be? I mean I am from Mexican descent, I hit a pinata on birthdays because it's a cultural thing... but hugging seems pretty universal.

Seems to me that since even babies hug it is something that must be 'unlearned' if we are not going to do it... And if we do not hug, why do we only not hug one gender? Why not forsake hugging everyone?

How about you read my post thoroughly??? I didn't say just one gender... I said also among the same gender that it's not considered appropriate to hug the same gender unless they are very, very, very, very, very close in relationship because of personal space and familiarity perceptions. This to hug or not to hug really doesn't matter on the gender in the culture I was raised in.... and we're talking more of a geographical culture in the appalachian area I was raised in, and additionally the church culture I live in now.

Titus2woman · #8 08-06-2012, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bro. Robbins

How about you read my post thoroughly??? I didn't say just one gender... I said also among the same gender that it's not considered appropriate to hug the same gender unless they are very, very, very, very, very close in relationship because of personal space and familiarity perceptions. This to hug or not to hug really doesn't matter on the gender in the culture I was raised in.... and we're talking more of a geographical culture in the appalachian area I was raised in, and additionally the church culture I live in now.

Guess the both genders got lost in your saying you would not hug your pastor if she were a woman???

Anywho... that's a lot of verys... you seem annoyed, I was only curious... Not like your not hugging affects my life any... I am still getting my hugs without you just fine