How to deal with cheating husband

[KeptByTheWord]

This very situation being discussed is being played out with a couple I know very well. Forgiveness is not so much the issue as the issue of trust. Once trust has been broken, it is very, very hard to rebuild.

Each case and scenario where the cheating takes place is individual and unique. I've have seen quite a few of these situations in the last few years. One family dealt with the husband buying prostitutes. With the Lord's help, that family is still intact, because the husband truly sought repentance and changed his ways sincerely.

Another situation involved a wife who basically prostituted herself out to whomever she met that wanted it, even while she lived a life of ease, and comfort. Her husband loved her deeply though, and begged her for months after it became public what she was doing, to quit, and get help, and stay at home... but she was a "Gomer" and had no interest in quitting, and left her husband and two small children, to go and do the things she wanted to do. With all the prayers, counseling, and begging, she could not be persuaded to change her ways.

In another situation ongoing right now, a husband has cheated on his wife repeatedly for the last ten years, buying prostitutes. He ended his relationship with the Lord about that time (ten years ago), and the wife has stuck with him praying and loving him, even while he wasn't proclaiming to be a Christian. Then just recently, his promiscuous sin was discovered. They are trying to work things out even now. Forgiveness is not so much the issue, but trust is. They both want the marriage to work, she is a prayer warrior, and a loving, beautiful woman. He is dealing with a terrible spirit of lust, and is trying to fight it, not yet really relying on the Lord's help, but yet desiring a change in his life. They still need prayer, so any of you who would be willing to hold this family up in prayer, they desperately need it.

So... what is the answer to the question posed? I don't know for sure, except one thing seems to be central that I've seen in marriages that suffer with a cheating spouse. Without repentance from the guilty party, and a true lifestyle change, and a desire to build trust again, then usually the marriage won't make it. If however, both parties are willing to concede and work on reconciliation, and forgiveness with the Lord's help, there is a greater chance the marriage will survive.

As for Pat R. speel... it kinda made me sick the way the blame seemed to get laid on the woman... that perhaps she hadn't made the home wonderful enough for the husband. I think that was bad advice. Both parties need to be working together to make the home a happy place, not just the wife. Both need to be willing to change their ways, and work together to rebuild the trust in their marriage. And both parties desperately need the help of the Lord to overcome the issues they are facing. Only Jesus is able to bring the peace, love and trust back into a marriage after it has been ripped apart, but both parties need to be seeking Jesus, not just one.. because more than likely, that marriage won't make it if that is the case.

[ApostolicKitty]

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

In another situation ongoing right now, a husband has cheated on his wife repeatedly for the last ten years, buying prostitutes. He ended his relationship with the Lord about that time (ten years ago), and the wife has stuck with him praying and loving him, even while he wasn't proclaiming to be a Christian. Then just recently, his promiscuous sin was discovered. They are trying to work things out even now. Forgiveness is not so much the issue, but trust is. They both want the marriage to work, she is a prayer warrior, and a loving, beautiful woman. He is dealing with a terrible spirit of lust, and is trying to fight it, not yet really relying on the Lord's help, but yet desiring a change in his life. They still need prayer, so any of you who would be willing to hold this family up in prayer, they desperately need it.

Most certainly.

I like what you said about both spouses working on the marriage. That's the only way a marriage can work!

[KeptByTheWord]

Originally Posted by ApostolicKitty

Most certainly.

I like what you said about both spouses working on the marriage. That's the only way a marriage can work!

Thank you for praying!

[Sweet Pea]

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

Both parties need to be working together to make the home a happy place, not just the wife. Both need to be willing to change their ways, and work together to rebuild the trust in their marriage. And both parties desperately need the help of the Lord to overcome the issues they are facing. Only Jesus is able to bring the peace, love and trust back into a marriage after it has been ripped apart, but both parties need to be seeking Jesus, not just one.. because more than likely, that marriage won't make it if that is the case.

Yes, I've seen Jesus bring trust back into a relationship that has been severely damaged by adultery !!!! But as you stated, BOTH parties have to be seeking Jesus!!!