Funeral denied

strait shooter · #1 10-21-2013, 01:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by allstate1

A distant friend of mine recently passed away after a brief bout with cancer. She attended sparingly the church I grew up in. Her mother has been a member of said church for over 40 years. The pastor denied the request for funeral service to be held at the church. His reason was the deceased was not a member in good standing! I have never heard of this happening! And personally I think it's a sorry act as a human much less as someone who is a pastor!! Any opinions out there??!

I pastor a church....and to be honest with you our building is not a public venue that is up for rent or use by the community. We dont rent it out or let folks use it for weddings, services, funerals, or anything for that matter. It is for church use and church use only. The only weddings, funerals or whatever that are allowed there are of folks that are members.

I am sorry if folks dont like that but it is too bad. I learned a long time ago that if you let it be used for all kinds of things, all kinds of things will go on in it. It is not a funeral home, a wedding chapel, or a rental hall.....it is an Apostolic, Pentecostal Oneness church and that is what it is going to be used for.

Now as far as the situation that was mentioned here, since I dont know all the facts....and there are always other sides to a story...I am not willing to pass judgment on this mans humanity or his pastoring.

Real Realism · #2 10-21-2013, 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strait shooter

I pastor a church....and to be honest with you our building is not a public venue that is up for rent or use by the community. We dont rent it out or let folks use it for weddings, services, funerals, or anything for that matter. It is for church use and church use only. The only weddings, funerals or whatever that are allowed there are of folks that are members.

I am sorry if folks dont like that but it is too bad. I learned a long time ago that if you let it be used for all kinds of things, all kinds of things will go on in it. It is not a funeral home, a wedding chapel, or a rental hall.....it is an Apostolic, Pentecostal Oneness church and that is what it is going to be used for.

Now as far as the situation that was mentioned here, since I dont know all the facts....and there are always other sides to a story...I am not willing to pass judgment on this mans humanity or his pastoring.

What about the possibility of ministering to the family members and friends of a "non-member" in their time of loss? What a great excuse to gather a bunch of non-believers in one place and teach them about Jesus and his sacrifice. It can be done in a tasteful way, without completely co-opting the funeral service.

My current church is "Apostolic Pentecostal Oneness", and we have funerals for anyone loosely associated with the church who's family desires it. Our ministers see it as an opportunity to show love, compassion, and Jesus to the hurting of this world.

What's more important? Keeping your building full of "holy" people? Or making it a venue for the lost to find Jesus? Hmm....

ILG · #3 10-21-2013, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Real Realism

What about the possibility of ministering to the family members and friends of a "non-member" in their time of loss?

This was the whole point to me. Her poor mother was turned away by her own church and pastor in her time of need.

Aquila · #4 10-21-2013, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ILG

This was the whole point to me. Her poor mother was turned away by her own church and pastor in her time of need.

It certainly might look that way and might be the case here. However, a church can support a grieving family member in other ways without hosting the funeral itself.

Aquila · #5 10-21-2013, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Real Realism

What about the possibility of ministering to the family members and friends of a "non-member" in their time of loss? What a great excuse to gather a bunch of non-believers in one place and teach them about Jesus and his sacrifice. It can be done in a tasteful way, without completely co-opting the funeral service.

My current church is "Apostolic Pentecostal Oneness", and we have funerals for anyone loosely associated with the church who's family desires it. Our ministers see it as an opportunity to show love, compassion, and Jesus to the hurting of this world.

What's more important? Keeping your building full of "holy" people? Or making it a venue for the lost to find Jesus? Hmm....

I would say it's up to a given pastor and the convictions God has given him for that specific congregation.

Real Realism · #6 10-21-2013, 08:49 AM

I fail to see any circumstance where ministering to hurting people - who are asking for you to minister to them (in this case, the mother, who IS a member of the church) - is something God would tell someone "not" to do.

n david · #7 10-21-2013, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Real Realism

I fail to see any circumstance where ministering to hurting people - who are asking for you to minister to them (in this case, the mother, who IS a member of the church) - is something God would tell someone "not" to do.

I guess I missed this part of the story; or rather, the original post didn't say the Pastor said God told him not to do the funeral.

Personally, the Pastor could, and probably should, have done the funeral.

There is one thing to consider. One church I attended previously had bylaws written where the church would not allow either funerals or weddings of non-members. The way the original post is written, makes me think this church might have that kind of bylaw.

Real Realism · #8 10-21-2013, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by n david

I guess I missed this part of the story; or rather, the original post didn't say the Pastor said God told him not to do the funeral.

I wrote that in response to:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aquila

I would say it's up to a given pastor and the convictions God has given him for that specific congregation.

Sasha · #9 10-21-2013, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Real Realism

What about the possibility of ministering to the family members and friends of a "non-member" in their time of loss? What a great excuse to gather a bunch of non-believers in one place and teach them about Jesus and his sacrifice. It can be done in a tasteful way, without completely co-opting the funeral service.

My current church is "Apostolic Pentecostal Oneness", and we have funerals for anyone loosely associated with the church who's family desires it. Our ministers see it as an opportunity to show love, compassion, and Jesus to the hurting of this world.

What's more important? Keeping your building full of "holy" people? Or making it a venue for the lost to find Jesus? Hmm....

For many people, the only time they hear preaching is at a funeral.

allstate1 · #10 10-21-2013, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strait shooter

I pastor a church....and to be honest with you our building is not a public venue that is up for rent or use by the community. We dont rent it out or let folks use it for weddings, services, funerals, or anything for that matter. It is for church use and church use only. The only weddings, funerals or whatever that are allowed there are of folks that are members.

I am sorry if folks dont like that but it is too bad. I learned a long time ago that if you let it be used for all kinds of things, all kinds of things will go on in it. It is not a funeral home, a wedding chapel, or a rental hall.....it is an Apostolic, Pentecostal Oneness church and that is what it is going to be used for.

Now as far as the situation that was mentioned here, since I dont know all the facts....and there are always other sides to a story...I am not willing to pass judgment on this mans humanity or his pastoring.

So if one of your long time members child dies you would also deny funeral??