Did you mourn leaving the UPC?

[obriencp]

There is def a mourning process. There will be those welcoming you with open arms, those from your past (or current) that don't understand but still show support, and those who will judge you as lost. It's not an easy decision and I felt like I was set free, but was afraid to walk out of the "cell" so to speak.

[Real Realism]

Originally Posted by obriencp

It's not an easy decision and I felt like I was set free, but was afraid to walk out of the "cell" so to speak.

Yes...I am feeling very deeply that we will miss the culture. It's ironic that the very things that are frustrating about the organization are what make it so closed off and exclusive. But that's the problem. I can't be a part of a cultural movement - I need to be part of the church. Not saying UPCers aren't saved (some are, some aren't, I'm guessing...), but for me, the culture is holding me back from exploring a deeper path in our Christian walk.

I don't go back generatins, but my father is a licensed minister in the UPC. It will be hard for them. But I have two siblings who are no longer in an affiliated church and have "liberalized". So it won't be a shock. I do feel like it will be a bigger adjustment coming from us, though.

Not sure what to make or expect from the church family. I'm torn up about the idea of leaving behind some great brothers and sisters. I don't think all will treat us terribly, but it will be a different relationship/friendship for sure if some do continue. I guess we'll see.

And fair point about attitudes going both ways. We're not angry or bitter toward those who stay. And we do consider them brethren. But time will tell if that feeling will be mutual (among the ministry, it may not be). We'd already been distancing ourselves from ministry for a couple years, so it's not going to be a huge shock...

[Dordrecht]

Christians usually bury their wounded alive....

[returnman]

Originally Posted by Real Realism

Yes...I am feeling very deeply that we will miss the culture. It's ironic that the very things that are frustrating about the organization are what make it so closed off and exclusive. But that's the problem. I can't be a part of a cultural movement - I need to be part of the church. Not saying UPCers aren't saved (some are, some aren't, I'm guessing...), but for me, the culture is holding me back from exploring a deeper path in our Christian walk.

I don't go back generatins, but my father is a licensed minister in the UPC. It will be hard for them. But I have two siblings who are no longer in an affiliated church and have "liberalized". So it won't be a shock. I do feel like it will be a bigger adjustment coming from us, though.

Not sure what to make or expect from the church family. I'm torn up about the idea of leaving behind some great brothers and sisters. I don't think all will treat us terribly, but it will be a different relationship/friendship for sure if some do continue. I guess we'll see.

And fair point about attitudes going both ways. We're not angry or bitter toward those who stay. And we do consider them brethren. But time will tell if that feeling will be mutual (among the ministry, it may not be). We'd already been distancing ourselves from ministry for a couple years, so it's not going to be a huge shock...

Some of the distancing will just occur naturally just like moving away. And in some cases you will have certain ones simply ignore you, i.e. facebook. They will feel like you walked out on them. I still think about the friends and fellowship but like others have said I am free to serve God without all the conditions in my life like before. In time you will grow and be happy.

[Sasha]

Originally Posted by obriencp

There is def a mourning process. There will be those welcoming you with open arms, those from your past (or current) that don't understand but still show support, and those who will judge you as lost. It's not an easy decision and I felt like I was set free, but was afraid to walk out of the "cell" so to speak.

Isn't this how everyone feels when they leave one church to attend another unless it's because of relocation?

I have heard this same thing come from those with Baptist, Catholic, Lutheran, and cultic backgrounds alike. They all have this same story. It's not unique with the UPC.