Needed - A Progressive Apostolic Youth Pastor

[ThePastorsCoach]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

You do not need to apologize. If they don't like what you are saying then they need to GET OVER IT!!!!

Thank you Co-Presiding Bishop. Us Bishops have to STICK TOGETHER!



I was thinking about being Anointed and Appointed and Approved as the CHIEF ARCHBISHOP APOSTLE of APOSTOLIC AUTHORITY!

I really like that title so you can still be the Presiding Bishop but I will be the ARCHBISHOP!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you believe in Baptismal FULL IMMERSION in the name of JESUS ONLY?????

[Jack Shephard]

Originally Posted by AtlantaBishop

Thank you Co-Presiding Bishop. Us Bishops have to STICK TOGETHER!



I was thinking about being Anointed and Appointed and Approved as the CHIEF ARCHBISHOP APOSTLE of APOSTOLIC AUTHORITY!

I really like that title so you can still be the Presiding Bishop but I will be the ARCHBISHOP!!!!!!!!!!!

The board needs to vote, but I make the first motion...NLYP......

Originally Posted by AtlantaBishop

:Do you believe in Baptismal FULL IMMERSION in the name of JESUS ONLY?????

Only all the time, but that is only if they have their shorts on! If they do not have shorts on I will have to baptize them with two immersions.

I guess you can I baptize the pants off of them, LOL

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

The board needs to vote, but I make the first motion...NLYP......



Only all the time, but that is only if they have their shorts on! If they do not have shorts on I will have to baptize them with two immersions.

I guess you can I baptize the pants off of them, LOL

Me too! We use robes!

Speaking of multiple immersions... we have a new convert from an old line church of God family named Andrew. Now Andrew is a little slow but he loves Jesus and he is a tract passing out fool. Even before he understood baptism in Jesus name he passing out them "tracks"! Well when the time finally came and Andrew was ready to be baptized in Jesus name himself it was, as they say, my day in the tank.

As the story goes, I did the normalized "Andrew, upon the confession of your faith in the blood of Jesus and your obedience to the Word of God, I now baptize you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins!" Well, ole Andrew came up outta that water a worshipping and talking in tongues which is again fairly common. The unique part was that after about two minutes of worshipping Andrew just falls back into the baptistry with me grabbing thinking he had slipped. When I got him back up he immediately flopped back again. After 5 more trips under he finally had his fill.

When we finished I asked him about his actions and he said "Bro. Phil, it felt so good the first time I just knew it could only get better so I just kept doing ti till I got tired!"

I near bouts busted a gut!

[Jack Shephard]

Originally Posted by philjones

Me too! We use robes!

Speaking of multiple immersions... we have a new convert from an old line church of God family named Andrew. Now Andrew is a little slow but he loves Jesus and he is a tract passing out fool. Even before he understood baptism in Jesus name he passing out them "tracks"! Well when the time finally came and Andrew was ready to be baptized in Jesus name himself it was, as they say, my day in the tank.

As the story goes, I did the normalized "Andrew, upon the confession of your faith in the blood of Jesus and your obedience to the Word of God, I now baptize you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins!" Well, ole Andrew came up outta that water a worshipping and talking in tongues which is again fairly common. The unique part was that after about two minutes of worshipping Andrew just falls back into the baptistry with me grabbing thinking he had slipped. When I got him back up he immediately flopped back again. After 5 more trips under he finally had his fill.

When we finished I asked him about his actions and he said "Bro. Phil, it felt so good the first time I just knew it could only get better so I just kept doing ti till I got tired!"

I near bouts busted a gut!

There for a while there was video on YouTube showing a kid getting baptized and he got out of the tank then a few seconds later he did a cannonball back in there and the pastor was still in the tank and you can tell he was po'ed. It was hilarious though.

[ThePastorsCoach]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

The board needs to vote, but I make the first motion...NLYP......



Only all the time, but that is only if they have their shorts on! If they do not have shorts on I will have to baptize them with two immersions.

I guess you can I baptize the pants off of them, LOL

Well, I haven't baptized the pants off of any of them yet!!!!!!!!!!
Like the Preacher was really getting inspired and screamed - "YOU WOMEN GOTTA GET THEM PANTS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A little visiting lady spoke up and said - "RIGHT NOW??????????"

LOL - DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I make a motion that we do NOT USE the word ONLY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want Elder Epley to tell us the TRUTH about this - Can we use the word ONLY and it be LEGAL??? Somebody told me that some of the old-timers actually said - "In the name of Jesus Only". Is that LEGAL?????????? Wouldn't that make a person "JESUS ONLY"?

Now Elder - Do you use the word ONLY when you are practice FULL IMMERSION BAPTISM in running water in white long sleeves down by the creek bank????
I heard it was not legal if it was NOT running water? Does leaving the water running in the plastic baptistry count? Would a person be LEGAL if they pulled the plug and ran water out the faucet at the same time??????

I JUST WANNA BE SAVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sam]

March 28, 1955 I asked Jesus Christ into my life.
I became a new creature and later joined the local Baptist church.
Through reading my Bible and listening to some preachers on the radio (A.A. Allen, Jack Coe, C.M. Ward, and somebody named Thompson from somewhere in Arkansas) I found out there was more for me than I had exerienced.

October 27, 1955 I was baptized in Jesus' Name at Elim Tabernacle in Milwaukee, WI

May 20, 1956 I was baptized in the Spirit at Bethel Tabernacle in Racine, WI.

So, radio preachers are not all bad.

[Steve Epley]

Originally Posted by AtlantaBishop

Well, I haven't baptized the pants off of any of them yet!!!!!!!!!!
Like the Preacher was really getting inspired and screamed - "YOU WOMEN GOTTA GET THEM PANTS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A little visiting lady spoke up and said - "RIGHT NOW??????????"

LOL - DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I make a motion that we do NOT USE the word ONLY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want Elder Epley to tell us the TRUTH about this - Can we use the word ONLY and it be LEGAL??? Somebody told me that some of the old-timers actually said - "In the name of Jesus Only". Is that LEGAL?????????? Wouldn't that make a person "JESUS ONLY"?

Now Elder - Do you use the word ONLY when you are practice FULL IMMERSION BAPTISM in running water in white long sleeves down by the creek bank????
I heard it was not legal if it was NOT running water? Does leaving the water running in the plastic baptistry count? Would a person be LEGAL if they pulled the plug and ran water out the faucet at the same time??????

I JUST WANNA BE SAVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In my over 40 years of being in the church I have only met 2 preachers who said Jesus only. And both were nuts.
Now back to the meat of the discussion.
This is Brother Gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen Thompson from Paragould, Ark. and yea I say unto thee send me I mean my servant that $20 offering you have hid in that secret place. This is EEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEE Duncan from H O U S E springs, MO. I am the one the Divine Healers call for prayer when they are sick.

[tv1a]

Christianity would be much easier if religion didn't get in the way.

Originally Posted by AtlantaBishop

AWE - I am sorry that I disappointed you! I should have just answered the way he wanted me to and made him happy - but then he would have wanted me to shave and then put on a long sleeve white shirt and then get rid of my TV's then make my wife quit shaving her legs and under her armpits or excuse me - quit cutting her hair, and then get a white wall hair cut and get rid off all my belts with gold or silver look belt buckles and then to make my wife a midwife and have everyone in the church have their babies at home and then get rid of all my RED ties!!!!!!!!

Oh - sorry - I got sidetracked on a RANT - rabbit chasing - Anybody else do that when you PONTIFICATING?????
Oh Well - I am trying to do better - Its these PREACHERS THAT MAKE ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sam]

Originally Posted by Steve Epley

...
This is Brother Gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen Thompson from Paragould, Ark. and yea I say unto thee send me I mean my servant that $20 offering you have hid in that secret place. ...

I think Glen Thompson was the guy that I couldn't remember his first name.

Was he the one that "got so close to God" that he "didn't need his wife anymore" so he sent her away? And then soon afterward married his secretary because she was pregnant?

[Steve Epley]

Originally Posted by Sam

I think Glen Thompson was the guy that I couldn't remember his first name.

Was he the one that "got so close to God" that he "didn't need his wife anymore" so he sent her away? And then soon afterward married his secretary because she was pregnant?

I don't remember that however he did have Oneness roots.

How about REVEREND AL????????????? I see you out there in radio land you are washing dishes-the Lord is saying go get that money out of that dresser drawer and send it to me. You always wanted to preacher boy I will be your preacher boy Mom.